A/N: I had to add some drama because of course everything can't be ALL FLOWERS AND SUNSHINE CAN IT??
“Where’s Kurt?” The words fell from his lips before he could stop them from coming out in a way that he realized sounded a little more than friendly. Krist didn’t seem to notice or care, taking a sip of his beer and sighing nonchalantly,
“I invited him but he said he’s sick.”
“Oh,” his features fell, immediately thinking of Kurt alone in his apartment, he knew he had no one there to make him chicken soup or fluff his pillow or make sure he took medicine. He hadn’t realized Krist had been studying his face until he blurted:
“You’re not gonna leave just ‘cause he’s not here, are you?” he accused.
“What? No! Of course not… I’ll stay for a while..” he ran a hand through his hair, casting his eyes away from Krist’s gaze.
Krist’s eyes narrowed, “Sure you will.” Then, like it was nothing he threw his head back in a laugh and downed the rest of his beer, getting up to walk into the kitchen for another one, “This party is gonna get crazy, dude! Tons of chicks, tons of drunk, fucked up chicks, man.”
“Yea-ah.” He faked enthusiasm. Krist slung an arm around his shoulder, “Come with me let’s get’cha a beer, that’ll help put you in the mood.” He pulled Dave alongside him into the small kitchen of what was ultimately a very small one story home right on the outskirts of Aberdeen where both he and Kurt had grown up. Krist popped the lids off two beers, handing one to Dave as he began,
“So… I know you have a crush on Kurt.” Dave dropped his beer. It shattered dramatically against the linoleum floor, making the moment all the more embarrassing. He scrambled, dropping to his knees and attempting to pick up shards of glass. Krist stopped him, “Hey, whoa- just leave it, look, it’s okay.” He pulled him up by the shoulder.
Dave’s face was flushed red, his eyes stayed straight on the ground, he fidgeted and tried to hide behind his hair. He didn’t know what to say, what would make it right. He didn’t want to give himself away by admitting to anything but the look on Krist’s face made his heart stutter and pound in his stomach. He opened his mouth to defend himself but was surprised to hear Krist speak first,
“Look, I get it.” His tone was completely genuine and his face had no trace of humor on it. “I… once upon a time had a little crush on Kurt too…”
He felt his heart sink in absolute horror. “Oh… my god, Krist, I- I didn’t mean to-”
“No, Dave,” He laughed slightly, “No, it… it was a long time ago. I’m not trying to stand in your way of pursuing him by any means. The only reason I said that was because I want you to know that I understand how you feel. I felt that way too.” The understanding in his eyes overwhelmed any sense Dave had to keep his mouth shut.
“So… what happened? I mean, did he ever find out? Did you guys ever…?”
“No, no,” Krist rushed to clarify. “No, I mean… once I tried… but, Kurt made it clear that I was a friend. Nothing more.” His hazel eyes drifted, looking far away, “At the time… it crushed me… but, I’d rather have Kurt in my life as a friend then not in my life at all. So, we’re good.” He cleared his throat, “Plus, it’s been years. I’m fine. We’re fine, I wasn’t trying to make you feel uncomfortable, I just… want you to know that I understand… and I want to warn you that he might do the same to you.”
“Oh,” his expression fell and suddenly he was second-guessing everything that had happened between them. Every touch, every conversation, every look. He felt incredibly insecure all of a sudden. He stared down at the floor, seeing the fizzling beer go flat in a puddle.
Krist’s voice was soft as he asked, “So… does Kurt know how you feel?”
“I’m not sure…” He tucked a portion of thick dark hair behind his ear.
“Well.. have you guys done anything?” he sounded like he might not want to know the answer.
“Yeah… I mean.. A couple of times now, yeah.”
He saw something flicker behind Krist’s eyes as he asked, “Really?” his voice sounded less friendly. He thought he saw his jaw clench. Dave gulped, trying to think of a way to end this conversation.
Like an answered prayer, someone knocked at the door. Dave let out a breath of relief as Krist walked away to answer it. He hurried out to the back door, letting himself out into the backyard. With shaky hands he pulled a cigarette up out of its spot in the carton he was holding, raising it to his lips, staring up at the sky, thinking the blue of the stars looked a lot like the electric blue of Kurt’s eyes.
After eating an entire pizza between the two of them, the stoned, happy teenagers tip-toed up the stairs to Krist’s room, which was at the end of the hall and covered in caution tape. Krist turned the doorknob slowly, opening it and flicking the lightswitch to reveal a room equally as messy as Kurt’s, covered in laundry, both clean and dirty, instruments, records, magazines and remnants of food. He felt at home. Kurt walked in, slipping his shoes off and climbing into Krist’s bed as he did every single time he came here, like a cat curling up in its favorite spot. He wrapped himself up in the sheets, taking a deep breath and exhaling, happy, eyes red, totally stoned and content.
Krist chuckled, taking his shirt off, stretching in his tank top, smiling at Kurt, “Feel better?” Kurt nodded once, smiling up at him, looking like a burrito all wrapped up. “Good.” he smiled, walking over to his record player and putting The Pixies on very softly in the background. He perched behind Kurt, looking down at the stoned sixteen year old who suddenly looked childlike. He reached to tuck a piece of blonde hair back behind his ear.
Kurt caught his gaze and suddenly looked scared. He shut down, scooting away and clearing his throat, totally breaking apart the moment. Krist felt like an idiot. The tops of his ears glowed red with embarrassment, he cast his eyes away at the ground and The Pixies yelled softly in the space between them. A hard minute passed, a painfully long minute as Krist turned to apologize, he was beat by a solemn-looking blonde who explained in a hushed, shy voice,
“I’m sorry… I..”
“No, Kurt- I’m sorry.. I shouldn’t.. I don’t know why..” he stammered, losing wind.
“It’s not you, I just… something happened that… I can’t…”
Kurt turned away entirely, shutting Krist out with his shoulder. “Nothing. Never mind. I’m tired.”
Dave stood in the corner of the living room, watching as the party unfolded before him. People took shots loudly in the kitchen while people danced drunkenly, bumping into each other and Krist’s cheap furniture. Music played way too loud, rocking the foundation of the house with some sort of weird noise-rock band he’d never heard of. He nursed a half-empty beer, feeling barely tipsy enough to deal with the drunk people surrounding him.
Krist had thankfully avoided him since their last encounter, busying himself with other guests, taking shots, snorting things, huffing whipped cream cans. Dave used to party like that and hell he still liked to but with different company, smaller crowds. He intentionally had stayed mostly sober in case Krist did want to fight him later, he’d have the advantage. He also wanted to stay sharp so he could escape the party. He couldn’t stop thinking about Kurt sick and alone in his apartment.
He felt such an intense need to nurture Kurt like he’d never felt for anyone before. He felt like he needed to save him, to help him, to protect him from the world, or maybe from himself. He wasn’t sure yet. Every time he closed his eyes all he could see was Kurt’s expressions, his smiles, his laughs, his moans, the way he breathes uneven and gasps when they’re alone. His mind is flooded with nothing but Kurt. He can’t get the smell of him out of his nose, his stomach quivers any time he thinks of him whimpering or whispering to him.
“You got a smoke?” A shrill, female voice ripped him out of his daydreaming harshly, sending him plummeting back down to earth. He looked down at her, she was a short woman, petite and clearly drunk, high or both, her red hair was cut short and framed her angular face. She wasn’t ugly but in comparison to the man he’d been daydreaming about she was practically a troll. He pulled a cigarette out of his pocket just to get her to leave him alone. She yelled back over the music, “Thanks!” As she turned to walk away she stopped and talked to a group of other troll-like women who turned their eyes on him. He hurried to the kitchen.
He found Krist taking a shot with a group of people. He squoze between them, pushing his way through to shout up to Krist over the bumping bass, “I’m gonna head out!” Krist’s eyes registered Dave standing in front of him, he watched the gears in his head process what he was saying.
“Y-yeah, okay, say hi to Kurt for me, will’ya?” He hiccuped, smiling a shit-eating grin.
Instead of being embarrassed Dave felt a surge of pride roll through him as he shouted back, smiling, “Sure will!” with that, he turned and headed for the door, smiling at himself, feeling awfully proud for sticking up for himself for once. And hell, Krist had his chance and Kurt obviously wasn’t into it, how was any of that his fault?
He got in his car and headed over to Kurt’s apartment complex.
Kurt was wrapped in three blankets, lying in a heap on the couch while an old horror movie played on TV, the room was dark, all curtains drawn and all lights turned off. He slept with his mouth open as his nose was clogged and his head totally congested. A faint sound fell through layers of sleep. His eyes fluttered softly. The sound happened again, he woke slightly more, unable to totally shake the sleep off, feeling like he was underwater.
Knock, knock, knock.
He sat up, blood drained back down, his face was red from where the pillow had been pressed. He yawned and stood, walking slowly over to the door as another round of knocks sounded. He hissed at the noise, swinging the door open, complaining, “Not so fucking loud!” He looked up and froze as he saw who it was. His hand shot up and ran through his hair in an attempt to make himself look less like a half-dead zombie version of himself. “Oh h-hi Dave. I wasn’t… expecting you.”
“I know I’m sorry to barge in, Krist told me you were sick and I just had to make sure you were okay. Are you okay?” He looked nervous, his face constantly emitting such a gentle sweetness to everything he said. He felt Dave’s eyes on him.
“I look like shit, I know.”
“No… you don’t. You just look sick.” he reached out to place his thumb in the dimple of Kurt’s chin, “and cute.”
Kurt looked away, walking back into his apartment, stretching as he led himself back to the couch, Dave following, shutting the door behind him. He shrugged his heavy raincoat off. Kurt asked, “What time is it? I’ve been asleep all day.” He plopped back down on the couch, crawling back into his blanket fortress.
“It’s almost eleven.”
“Wow.” Kurt yawned again, reaching for his glass of water, which was empty. Dave reached over him, grabbing it and chirping,
“I got it.” Before Kurt could say a thing he ran off to the kitchen. He paused for a moment, smiling at himself, feeling his insides warm at the thought of Dave taking care of him like this. Before he could finish the thought, the enthusiastic drummer returned with a full glass of water, handing it triumphantly to Kurt. “Here you go.”
“Thanks..” He took a sip, smiling against the rim of the glass. Dave sat beside him on the couch, sneaking himself under the blankets with Kurt. He set the glass aside, turning to Dave, who caught him in a kiss before he could say anything. He raised his eyebrows in surprise but kissed back nonetheless, reaching to cup Dave’s jaw as he tried to deepen the kiss, Kurt pulled away. “You’re gonna get sick.”
Dave kissed at his stubbly jaw before pulling back with a smile, “I’ll take my chances.” He bit his lip, gazing at Kurt’s lips before breaking from the thought, asking, “Are you hungry?”
“I could eat..” Kurt answered meekly, snuggling into his blankets.
“What would you like?”
“Well, I don’t have much here..” his eyes were forlorn.
“That’s not what I asked.”
“What do you mean?” he eyed him suspiciously.
“I mean… I have a car, I have cash, what do you want to eat?” Dave smiled as he saw Kurt’s eyes light up in understanding.
“Oh..” a small grin played at his lips. “Well… I could go for some McDonald’s right now.”
“Yeah? That’s for sure what you want?”
Kurt nodded, smiling an adorable dimpled grin.
“Okay, what do you like from there?” he scratched Kurt’s head, running his fingers through his roots, tugging gently. Kurt purred and turned to snuggle into his lap.
He lifted his head from his lap, blinking up at him, “Egg mcmuffin, fries, fruit parfait and cookies.”
Dave couldn’t help but smile down at him, “Okay. Anything else you want?”
Kurt shook his head.
“Do you wanna come with me?”
He shook his head again, “I’m so cold. It’s too cold out there.”
“You should take a bath while I go, it’ll warm you up and help with aches.” Kurt just continued looking up at him. “I’ll go run you a bath, okay, just stay here.” He got up carefully setting Kurt’s head down as he moved. He sat up, watching him disappear down the hall as light flooded the hallway and the sound of water pounding against the tub could be heard.
Dave returned, grinning, “Do you want me to undress you and put you in the bath?” Kurt stood, shaking his head at him, “Cause I will. I’d be happy to.”
Kurt giggled, “Shut up.”
“See you in a minute.” He grabbed his coat.
“See ya.” Kurt smiled and disappeared into the bathroom. He shut the door behind him and started to shrug his clothes off, walking toward the bathtub, leaving a trail behind him as he did. He reached out to feel the temperature and it was perfect, just a little scalding, but not too hot. He let it continue to fill it until it reached about three quarters of the way full before turning the dial off. He stood before it, raising his foot to dip a toe in.
He let himself get used to it then slowly inched his foot into the water, then his other foot, then lower and lower until he was sitting in it, sighing from the heat. He submerged himself completely, holding himself under for a good half a minute, shaking his head around, liking the feel of water rushing through his hair. He gasped softly as he raised himself out of the water, wiping water out of his eyes.
He looked around, feeling his vision get hazy as the heat surrounded him, feeling his blood pump hard and heavy. He let his head fall back into the water, closing his eyes, listening to the distorted sounds in the water surrounding him. He lost track of time as he laid in the warm water, thoughts drifting, daydreaming, thinking. A soft knock sounded against the door and he called out, “Come in,”
Dave had two bags and a drink in his hands, smiling down at him, “You look comfy.”
“Feels good, you were right.” He sat up, blinking the water out of his eyes, running a hand through his wet hair.
Dave sat on the toilet, grabbing Kurt’s food out of the bag, “Which do you want first?”
“Here you go.” he handed it over. Kurt unwrapped it and took a bite. Dave took a sip of his coke, “Good?”
“Yes.” he munched, taking another bite and reaching at Dave’s coke. He handed it over to him, watching him drink it. He looked down, unable to keep his eyes off his skinny, sexy body. Kurt blushed, pulling away and covering his crotch with a washcloth, “No peeping!”
“Oh come on, we’ve had sex before, I’ve seen you naked.” He unwrapped his sandwich, taking a big bite and muttering around it, “You’ve got absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, by the way.”
“Says the man with perfect muscle tone.” Kurt sighed sharply at him, finishing his muffin with a huff.
Dave shrugged, raising his eyebrows at him, “I like your body.”
“Well that makes one of us.” Kurt reached for his fruit parfait.
Dave frowned, chewing on his sandwich. He looked up, then down, then up at Kurt, “Why don’t we go to the gym together? I mean if you wanna bulk up you can, it’s just a matter of--”
“No.” He said flatly, scooping a spoonful of yogurt.
“Okay…” Dave looked away, sipping at his coke. He looked back at Kurt, who looked indifferent. “Hey, I didn’t mean to touch a nerve or anything…”
“You really don’t need to apologize.”
“I feel like I should.”
“Hey thanks for getting me food and making sure I’m okay.” He changed the subject in a very characteristic move. “You didn’t have to do this.”
“I know I didn’t have to.” He felt exasperated, wishing Kurt would just accept his gestures, as a friend, or as a lover, or whatever they are at the moment. “Why do you feel like I don’t owe you anything or you don’t owe me anything? I care about you, Kurt.”
The blonde sighed, then dipped his head underwater, pulling it back out and whipping his hair at the tile wall of the bathtub/shower. “Look, every time I do this it ends up bad, so let’s just not call it anything, okay? I feel like it’s easier that way and nobody gets hurt.”
It took a moment for that to sink in. He looked at Kurt’s face, which was cool and calm. It only added to his hurt. “So.. basically, we can fuck, but we can’t express any real human emotions to each other? Because you don’t want to get attached to me? You don’t wanna be obligated to have to care about me, is that it?”
“No, save it, Kurt.” He got up, putting the bag aside, losing his appetite. “You said what you needed to say. I’m too clingy, it’s all too much for you, and you need space, right? Then have it. I’ll leave you the fuck alone.” Before the blonde could rebuttal he got up and walked out of the bathroom, grabbing his coat and leaving his apartment with tears brimming at the edges of his eyes.
His heart sank as he began to believe that Krist was right.