Well... this is take two. Hopefully, things will work out better than they did with Britney.
Dave sat and chatted with the girl, a fiery red head with beautiful, pale skin, and this time, he actually felt good about how things were going. She was nice. She was unattached. And she was interested in him, or so it would seem.
"And you've been here less than three weeks?" She marveled at him. "That really is amazing."
"Yeah." And Dave was thinking about Jordyn, and how different his wife was to the women in the Afterlife. How she was so genuine, and easy to talk to.
Dave had panicked when he'd woken up that morning, woken up from a nightmare to discover he couldn't remember his wife's name. It had taken him an entire sixty seconds to remember, and those sixty seconds had been some of the scariest he'd ever experienced.
"Dave?" The red head interrupted his thoughts gently, and he stirred. He was almost grateful for the distraction. "Is everything alright?" He wanted to sigh but repressed it, and nodded. She smiled back at him sweetly. "Well, what's wrong, then?"
"I-" He searched for an adequate reply, but before he could think of one, a very familiar laugh floated from across the room and deftly penetrated his brain.
What?
He turned his head, confusing the girl he was with, to search for the source of that familiar laugh.
Then he found it, and was so shocked he nearly tumbled right off his chair.
Sitting on one of the club lounges, entwined in each other, was none other than Kurt and Jeremy. Kurt was sitting in his companion's lap, a glass of alcohol in one hand and a fistful of Jeremy's shirt in the other, laughing with apparent delight at something witty the other man had just said. Dave felt his insides snarl at the sight of the spectacle, uncomfortably hot all of a sudden.
"Dave?" The red head was calling ut to him, but it seemed to come from very far away, and Dave barely even registered it. Let alone cared.
"H-huh?"
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, yeah." He couldn't take his eyes off the two men playing on the couch together. Jeremy was kissing Kurt's neck, lowering Kurt against the lounge until he was bent almost double. Dave shuddered with revulsion. It was almost as bad as watching them fuck. Dave could just imagine watching them fuck. He loathed it. "I'm... fine."
Then they kissed, and it caused Dave's brain to overheat. He was almost ready to storm over to them and do something drastic, like pull Kurt off the lounge and proceed to beat the living shit out of Jeremy, but then the impulse died.
Because Jeremy was kissing Kurt's neck again, and Kurt was tilting his head, and his eyes and Dave's eyes were suddenly locked.
"No," Dave whimpered vehemently, and wrenched his gaze away. He felt sick and weak and incredibly flustered. Goddamn it, Kurt... He turned back to the red haired girl, who was offering him a quizzical glance, and he seized her hand suddenly. Her eyes widened.
"Dave-"
"Listen. What's your name?"
She was puzzled. "My name's Melanie. But what's wrong, Dave? You look as though you've just seen a gh-"
"Melanie." His voice was low as he overrode her. "I have to get out of here, right this minute. So..." He didn't want to do it,but his jealousy was making him irrational. Stupid. The image of Kurt with Jeremy was burnt into his retinas, etched into his brain. "So, do you want to come back to my place with me?" Melanie just stared at Dave, who was, in her opinion, eccentric to the point of almost being mental, but also ferociously cute.
And she made up her mind.
"Alright."
"Great." Dave pulled her up from her seat and guided her across the nightclub floor, towards his apartment.He was still grasping her hand tightly.
"Dave?"
"Yeah?" He turned to Melanie, and her eyes were full of female intuition. She knew something wasn't right.
"Are, are you sure that this is what you want, Dave?" she asked lowly, and Dave thought about his life. Thought about Jordyn. Thought about Kurt.
"Yes, Melanie," he replied in the most genuine, convincing voice he could muster. "I'm sure."
"Alright," she murmured back, and allowed herself to once again be led away by Dave.
From across the room, on a club lounge, Kurt watched Dave leave the room with a red haired girl, and felt his heart sink a little in his chest.
***************************
Jeremy threw Kurt down against the bed, and climbed onto him, naked skin against naked skin. Kurt's breathing was hot and heavy, and his hair was spread all over the pillows like golden silk.
"Jeremy," he crooned in a low, urgent voice that was dripping with sexual desire. "Now, Jeremy. Fuck me. Oh, please, fuck me so hard!" Jeremy ran a hand down over Kurt's slender, milky white body, and the blonde encouraged him with deep, steady moans that seemed to reverberate around the room. Jeremy grasped his slim hips with both hands and Kurt arched up smoothly, presenting himself to his lover in his entirety. "Do it. Take me, now."
Jeremy didn't need to be told twice. He gripped Kurt's waist tightly and guided himself in. Kurt stared up at him, and his eyes were deep and blue and shining with adoration. He was grateful for Jeremy's attention. He wanted to be fucked.
"Oh, yes, Jeremy. Yes. That's it. That's it!"
Jeremy bowed his head and began to thrust in and out, in and out of Kurt's sleek passage, groaning with the effort. After so many different men, Kurt was still beautiful and tight where it counted. Kurt gasped as he was filled, and gave himself completely to his lover, running his hands up and down his sides. The blonde's breathing intensified, his collarbone defined in a sheen of silver sweat, his eyes twin windows to his soul. And his soul was on fire.
Jeremy whispered, "Oh, Kurt."
Kurt whispered back, "Kiss me."
And Jeremy kissed him, open mouth pressing urgently down, down, but when they eventually parted for air, Jeremy wasn't Jeremy anymore. He was more muscular, and longer in the body, with a mane of dark hair and a scruffy beard to match. His shoulders and the back of his neck was covered in tattoos.
He was Dave.
"Kurt," he moaned, grasping at his lover in pleasure, a pleasant, perfect storm raging on inside him.
"Dave." And then Kurt was chanting his name like a mantra, and it was wonderful. "Dave, oh, Dave... please..." Kurt threw his head back and cried out, every muscle in his body poised and taut, and beautifully sculpted. Dave moved atop of him, close to the edge, his brows furrowed, his eyes wild. "C-close..." Kurt dug his nails deep into Dave's sweat soaked skin. "Oh, oh God... God..."
"Kurt..."
"D-dave."
Their bodies locked together and control collapsed.
"YES!" They came together, in unison, riding the wave of climax, calling nonsensical things to each other as they went up, then down.
"Oh, Dave!"
"Kurt. I love you, Kurt, I-"
Dave bit back a groan, and pulled himself out of his fantasy. He let his head drop into his hands. Sitting on the bed beside him, curious, Melanie observed his strange behavior.
"You can't do this." A statement, not a question. Dave turned to her, fearing her watchful gaze, and crumbled.
"I'm sorry, Melanie. I, I guess I can't. I thought I could, because you're so... really special, and everything, but, but I guess I just can't. I know it's cliche, but it's not you. It's fucking me, really."
"Hey. Relax, Dave." She was understanding, and Dave felt relief to the point it was overwhelming. "It's okay, I'm not mad, or anything." She smiled to demonstrate just how un-mad she was. "No offense, but if you want to find a friend who can be a sexual partner to you also, maybe you should consider, well, dating a man."
"Maybe." The more he thought about it, the more it made sense.
I couldn't bring myself to be with another woman, not after Jordyn. I couldn't be with the blonde, I couldn't even sleep with Melanie, even though she's interested and attractive and available. So, so maybe I just don't go with women anymore. Maybe I should find a man to be with. I could be gay, I could be gay, easy.
I could deal with that.
"Anyway," Melanie hopped gracefully of the bed, filled with a femininity that Dave suddenly didn't care for.Now the thought had been brought to his attention, it seemed so obvious. Of course. A man. "You're a sweetheart, Dave, and I really like you. I hope everything works out okay for you."
"Thanks. For being so understanding."
"Don't even worry about it." She smiled again, widely. And they shared a brief kiss. "See you around. And good luck. Not that you'll be needing it."
*************************
"I want to fuck, Kurt." Jeremy was not known for being subtle. He pulled Kurt to him but the blonde resisted, pulling just as hard in the opposite direction. Seeing Dave in the club earlier that night had done something strange to him. It had unnerved him. And now he couldn't get the expression from Dave's eyes out of his head. Wide, innocent eyes. Alive eyes.
It had been a very disquieting moment.
"No, Jer, I'm too tired. Can't we just go straight to sleep, tonight?"
"Oh come on," Jeremy pleaded. Kurt hated it when he pleaded. Mostly because he knew beneath the request, it was always a shrouded demand. "I'm so fucking horny!"
"Jer..." He tried to use reason.
"How about just a blow job?"
It was at this point Kurt would have usually given up, and done what he was told, but this time, he couldn't. He kept seeing Dave's eyes. So he resisted some more. "I gave you a blow job, just last night."
"Yeah, but truthfully, it sort of sucked."
Kurt was insulted, but he tried to make light of the situation. It wouldn't help to sulk. Knowing Jeremy, sulking would probably turn him on all the more. He raised an eyebrow in jest. "I always thought the whole idea behind a blow job was to suck."
"Come on, you know what I mean."
"Yeah, you're right. I do. I quite frankly, I find it rather offending."
"Oh, fine, then!" Jeremy rolled his eyes, in a my, my, how ungrateful we are today manner, like Kurt was a kid who wouldn't share his toy. "No blow job, then. Could you at least jerk me off?"
"You've got hands. You can do it yourself."
"Kurt!"
The blonde sighed. "Listen, Jer, I'm sorry, but I really, really don't want to do this right now. I'm just... not in the mood I guess. But I'll make it up to you later, okay?"
"I could make you," Jeremy said suddenly, in a voice that wasn't his own. Low, sweet, and dangerous. "I could make you do it, you'd be on your back, screaming..." Kurt blanched and his control almost broke, but then he would have been had, and he knew it, too. So he fixed Jeremy with the hardest stare he could muster, and stood his ground.
"I know you could, Jer." He spoke plainly, neutrally. "But you're not going to, are you?" Jeremy make no effort to respond, and Kurt took this as a sign to go on. He cleared his throat, and the dangerous atmosphere almost entirely dissipated in that one moment. Control over the situation had shifted once more. "I'm going to go for a walk, now. I need to clear my head." He didn't want to be around when Jeremy decided he was horny enough to take him by force, after all. He braced himself for an argument from his companion, but received none.
"Sure. You do that."
"I'll be back later, Jeremy." Jeremy said nothing, did nothing, and Kurt actually had to step around him to get out the door.
He stole away without another word.
***************************
Siri smiled at Kurt, feeling nervous about something for the first time in goodness knows how many years. She was unsure as to what Kurt's reaction to seeing her would be. But she doubted it would be good. "Hello, there, Kurt. Er... long time, no see." Kurt stared passed her, then finally at her, and he recognized who he was seeing.
"You," he mumbled, and it wasn't all that hard to tell his mood from his tone.
"Do you remember me?"
"Obviously. You woke me up. You took the bullet out of my head."
"Yes, that's, that's right. That was me, Kurt." Siri smiled wider, a two thousand dollar, fake as fake smile, and figured, to but it in blatant human terms, that she was fucked. Double fucked, maybe even. "I'm surprised you remember that, Kurt. You must have a good memory."
"You waking me up was probably the worst thing that's ever happened to me."
"Well, hey. I wasn't the one who pared you up with Jeremy Gates."
"Yeah, well, you didn't exactly warn me about him, either. 'Find a friend'... what the fuck is that? I didn't want a fucking friend. And you didn't even warm me about what was going to happen."
"What was there to warn you about? Your file showed that you liked it when men took advantage of you. You let them do it to you all the time, when you were alive." She folded her arms defensively. "Jeremy seemed like your perfect match, so there was no reason to interfere, if that was even an option in the first place. Which it isn't."
Kurt saw through this instantly. "That's not true. You're interfering right now!"
Siri sighed, but she couldn't help but smile wryly. "Nothing gets past Kurt Cobain now, does it?" But he wasn't amused by her stab at comic relief. He simply glared mutely, forcing her to continue, "Anyway, that's beside the point. I have a purpose in being here. I hear that as of now, Dave and yourself are no longer seeing one another."
"What do you care?"
Charming, Kurt. "Normally, I wouldn't, but there's something at work here. Something's been telling me that it's important for the two of you to stick together."
The blonde shook his head slowly. When he spoke, he sounded flat and lifeless. "I don't really care, Siri. I"m just not associated with him anymore. And he-" He swallowed a painful lump in his throat. "He's better off without me."
"He hurt you, didn't he?" Siri cut straight to the heart of the matter, knowing it would hurt but with no patience to soothe. Kurt hissed, but said nothing. "You offered yourself to him, you were vulnerable, And for the first time, someone actually turned you down. He turned you down."
"No."
"Then why are you no longer speaking to him?"
"He needs to find a friend, remember? Remember the fucking establishment you and your ancient buddies came up with, Siri? Not only that, but I also need to restore my relationship with Jeremy, due to your other bullshit rules!" He slumped, and the fight went out of him as quickly as it had appeared. "If it's still possible to do so."
'"Kurt." Siri moved close to him. "Show me your wrist." Reluctantly, Kurt held his tattoo up for inspection. He hated looking at it. By now, the drawing had visibly faded, and were becoming an unhealthy shade of blue-grey. A bruise, an imprint of its former vibrancy. As it's color dulled, Kurt grew more and more apathetic. Siri's eyes widened a little, and she was sad. "I didn't realize you were so far along."
"Is there any hope for us?"
"I'm honestly not sure."
"You know, no offense, but for a mystical, spiritual being, you don't really know very much, do you?" This wise-crack made Siri smile, and then things became a little easier between them.
"Thanks a lot." Kurt quickly relented.
"Sorry. It's not like it matters, anyway."
"How are things with Jeremy going?"
"Better than it was before, I suppose. Well, better for him, at any rate." His voice faltered, and lowered in his confession. "H-he, he asks for sex all the time, now. I want to say no. But now I'm afraid, if I do..." He gestured to his tattoo, and Siri nodded, but that was only the half of it. Kurt knew he wasn't really big or strong enough to stop Jeremy from doing anything he pleased.
"When he asks you for it, it embarrasses you, doesn't it?"
Kurt refused to look at her as he answered. "Yes," he whispered. His face, which was usually so pale, was flushed red.
"Kurt... is there anything else you want to tell me?"
"No.." He thought about it. "Well, yes... but I'm afraid of what the consequences might be if I happen to say it." He still wasn't looking at her.
"Well, don't bother. Thinking is an equal crime to speaking out loud. If it's on your mind, you'd might as well tell me, as the damage is already done. And who knows?" The corners of the mouth twitched. "Maybe this mystical, spiritual being can do something useful, for a change."
"I doubt you could help."
"Come on. Try me."
"I..." He trailed off, rethought his response, and started again. "I just wish... really wish... that it wasn't Jeremy that I'd ended up with. I wish..."
"You wish you had Dave." Kurt heaved a sigh, and nodded. Then Siri was silent, and the blonde grew more and more uncomfortable.
"Aren't you going to tell me how hopeless that is, and how it's vitally important that I stick with Jeremy and remain true to him and all that sort of shit?"
"No. I'm not." Kurt was so surprised by this, it shut him up. "To tell you the truth, I don't think you and Jeremy are meant to be together, either. That was a mistake. But you and Dave..." She tested the words in the air. They sounded right together, even to Kurt, they sounded right. Curiosity was ignited deep within him, and he found his voice again.
"What is it? What about me and Dave?" He searched her face for the answers, but it offered none. And she only gave him more questions.
"Well... how do you feel about him?"
"I, I don't know, exactly..." He was distressed; he ran a hand through his dirty blonde hair, absently combing it. "It's... it's just weird with him. More weird than anything."
"Weird how?"
"Well, I dream about him. Only, he's different. He looks different, er, that is, not how he looks now. Here. I, he's younger, for starters, a fair bit younger, but he's got that damn beard, s-so it's hard to say..."
"How about getting to the point, Kurt?"
He glared daggers at her, but took the hint. "The dreams are strange. It's almost like they're memories, or something like that."
"What happens in the dreams?"
"You sound like a psychiatrist."
Siri sighed. She was quickly tiring of his attitude. "Just answer the question, Wise Guy."
He made an immature face at her, but wasn't really all that put off. "Fine, then. Let's see... um. The first dream I had, I think, we played music together, and he was worried about me. Then, in another dream, he got really angry at me, and he wasn't talking to me, so I ended up going... somewhere. To see him." He frowned with concentration, struggling to remember it all. "And, and um. I was taking drugs. I didn't stop, even after they asked me to. And, and I got really mad at everyone. I think I ran away at the end. And then..." He trailed off, his voice far away and very vague.
"And then what, Kurt?" Siri was hanging off of his every word. Kurt wheeled back slowly to face her, and seemed to wake up from his temporary daze.
"And then... and then I think I died. I think I killed myself."
"You did?"
"Uh-huh. Shot myself in the head. That part, at least, I know is true." He was quiet for a few more moments as he pondered, and finally asked Siri the question that had been plaguing him for some time now. "Siri, I need to ask you about something." He took a deep,
self-composing breath. "Is there something, anything you could tell me about myself? You know, from when I was alive? Is, is any of the stuff I just described real?"
"Kurt. You know I can't tell you that."
His voice was desperate, and hard to resist. He could be childish when he wanted to. And plead with the best of them. "Please, Siri, there has to be something you can tell me. A clue, a fucking idea, something. There's so much I don't know, don't understand. Like, why would I even kill myself in the first place?"
"Kurt-"
"I don't understand. What could make me hurt so much as to do something like that? And what about the people I left behind?"
"Kurt, please-"
"And what about my dreams? What about Dave? Why am I dreaming about him?"
"Kurt!" She called sternly, and the questions stopped flowing. "I know, okay? I know how confused you are, and I know you don't understand. And I know you want answers. But I can't tell you. I can't tell you, Kurt. Not about your life, not about Dave, nothing. And I'm sorry. But it's not my choice to make." Kurt sighed dejectedly, and put his head in his hands, the curve of his shoulders slumped and broken in defeat. Siri hated seeing him this way.
"I'm so confused."
"I know." Siri felt badly for him. "But, but I think you should take your dream as a sign of sorts. I can tell you that much. You should find Dave. I know it's risky and of course you don't want to endanger yourself, Jeremy or Dave by seeing him again, but honestly, I don't think you're supposed to be apart. Something about this whole scenario is very, very wrong."
"But." Kurt digested this. "But, but what should I do, then?"
"Go find him?"
"How? Where? Where do I find him? What will I say?"
Oh, Kurt. I can tell you that, too. And Siri told him everything she knew. Everything she could tell.