After a week of mourning inside the trailer, only going outside to put the trash out, I decide it’s about damn time I snap out of this. Just because I lost the love of my life, and everything we had going for us, is no reason to stay inside the house. Besides, Krist is getting a bit angry that we haven’t had band practice since I met Dave. Sitting on my ass isn’t helping Nirvana.
I walk into the living room and sit on the couch. I pick up the phone, and dial in Krist’s number. It rings and rings, finally he picks up.
“H-hey, Krist,” I mumble. After a somewhat awkward silence, I continue.
“So--I was wondering--if--maybe, um--we could--practice today?”, I say, nervously toying with my hair. Why am I so nervous? I mean, come on, you’ve known Krist for ages, or at least it seems that way.
“That would be nice,” Krist says, “Since we haven’t practiced in months…” He kind of trails off at the end. I think he finds it equally awkward, even though I have no idea why.
On the way to Krist’s mom’s house, where we practice, I find myself growing more and more nervous, the closer I get. Why am I so nervous? Mentally slapping myself, I walk up the cement steps, and knock on the front door. Krist opens it a few minutes later. I step inside, holding my guitar and look around. Doesn’t look any different, but it feels different. Something has changed, and I don’t know what it is.
I decide not to bring it up though, and we head into the ‘practice room’. I see a few friends of Krist standing around the room, beers in hand, ready to hear us play. All of a sudden, I stop dead. Dave? No, no it can’t be. Chad is our---wait, he’s not in the band anymore---I forgot I told Dave he could be our drummer.
There’s Dave, in all his beauty, hair combed and hanging past his shoulders. He’s so pretty. He turns his head, and double takes when he sees me. I manage a weak smile, and fight back the urge to get on my knees and beg him to take me back. He just stares at me, not returning my smile. I feel sick to my stomach, and tears coming on. Damnit, Kurt, I say to myself, don’t cry.
“I--I hate to say this, but I can’t---can’t practice today, sorry, I really am,” I say, and walk out of the room. Tears are spilling out of my eyes, rolling down my cheeks and dripping off my chin. I can’t help it. I want him so bad, so bad. I can’t even begin to tell you how much this hurts. I lost Dave, and at first I was skeptical, even the first week I was skeptical…but it’s finally sinking in. Dave is gone, he’s not coming back.
I am on my way back to my trailer, pausing every so often to wipe the tears off my cheeks with my sleeve.
When I pass by Dave’s apartment building, I can’t resist. I walk past the chainlink fence, and right next to the building. Continuing, after I make sure Dave’s parents aren’t home, I walk up the steps, holding onto the metal railing. I sit myself down on the ‘WELCOME’ mat in front of Dave’s apartment. Yeah, I bet I’m welcome here.
After a while, noise and giggling alerts me. Someone is coming towards the building. Damn! I hope it’s not Dave’s parents, that’s all I need. Just as I start to stand up, the giggling stops. I look up weakly, and embarrassed-like. My stomach turns when I see who it is. Dave is home, and he’s by himself. Then who was doing all that giggling?
“Uh, look, I can…explain…we need to talk,” I say, looking down at my shoes.
“There is nothing to talk about. Get the hell out of here!”, Dave says angrily. I can’t take it anymore. I have to talk to him.
“I am not going anywhere until we can talk this out!”
“Well then, I guess I should introduce you to my new boyfriend, Mike.”
“I guess you---what?!”, I start, realizing what he just said. New boyfriend? My heart sinks, it feels like it just stopped beating.
“That’s right, Kurt, I have a new boyfriend.” This ugly guy with dark brown, styled hair arrives at Dave’s side. Dave takes his hand, and ‘Mike’ kisses him. I can’t stand it anymore.
“I’ll just be uh going now,” I mutter, walking towards the steps.
“Where are you going, KURT?”, Mike shouts, smiling. I’m not sure, but I think I can hear Dave say ‘shut up, Mike’ or something to that extent.
I walk almost to the gates and turn around. I look back up at Dave’s apartment. Mike is all over Dave, and Dave doesn’t look like he’s objecting. I guess I was right---he can do just fine without me.
It’s been 5 months since Dave and Kurt met, and got together. They haven’t reconciled, or even talked. It’s been a month and two weeks since the apartment incident. I’m doing this because I don’t want 300 chapters, documenting each month of their relationship, lol.
Well if you’re looking for me, I can be found in Ken’s Diner, on 2nd Street. I’m slowly eating my fries and drinking my milkshake. I’ve been trying all these crazy ‘self-help’ techniques trying to get over Dave, and eating is one of them.
A half eaten fry lands back in the basket, landing on a few I haven’t even touched yet. As I look up, who should walk in but Dave himself. Dave? What the hell is he doing here? I hope ‘Mike’ isn’t with him. Talk about awkward.
Dave looks around the diner, and spots me. Slowly, he makes his way over to me.
“H-hey, Kurt,” he says, looking away from me, playing with his hair.
“Hello---Dave,” I say, picking up my milkshake, incase he says something weird, and puts me on the spot. A person can’t talk if they are drinking something.
“Can I sit down?”, Dave speaks slowly.
“Yeah sure,” I say.
10 minutes later, it’s a little less awkward, Dave ate one of my fries. “Yeah, I’m sorry about what happened with Mike a while back, you know,” Dave says.
I pause, then respond, “Yeah well…it’s okay.”
“No it’s not, I could tell it hurt you…and it…hurt me to know that I made you cry, Kurt.”
I don’t know what to say. Dave’s hurt because he made me cry? Well, let me think back…just a couple weeks ago, I cried myself to sleep, cried all night and cried more when I woke up, and it didn’t save our relationship.
“You’re hurt because you made me cry, Dave?”, I ask, a little bit meaner than I intended.
“Y-yeah, I am,” Dave says, looking down at his lap.
I whimper and try to blink, trying to prevent more tears. Dave and I are at his house, and he’s holding me whilst I cry my heart out.
“W-what about that---one night, Dave? Why did---why did you hurt ME? I’m cried every night for probably two weeks, and---*sob*---I did apologize!”, I say, and start bawling again. Tears all over my face.
Dave wraps his arms around me. “We hurt each other, and it made us both upset. I wanted to get you away from me.”
“Why? Why, Dave?”
Dave inhales deeply and says, “Because you hurt me, and I wanted to get back at you.”
I look at him. “I’m so sorry, Dave,” I say. He wipes my tears off my face, and kisses my nose.
“I know, and I’m sorry too,” Dave says. Then I remember a little ‘someone named Mike’ who was in the picture a while back. My heart feels like it could shatter at any moment, but I have to ask.
“Are you and ‘Mike’ still together?”
Dave gets all quiet and I’m almost afraid he will say that they are. “Dave?”, I say, after a few moments of silence.
“No--we aren’t together---neverreallywere,” he mutters.
“I said--we weren’t really together---to begin with,” Dave says.
“Then why were you letting him get all over you like that?”
Dave falls silent again. I probably shouldn’t have said that.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it---”
“No, I understand,” Dave says, pulling me close to him. He wraps one arm around my mid-section and the other around my neck. Dave starts toying with my hair again.
“I--I really didn’t---want him to---you know, do that---but I--couldn’t get him to go away---*deep breath*---,” Dave continues, slowly, and quietly. I pull away from him and look at his pretty, teary eyes.
I just fall back onto his chest and hug his body close to me. I lean close to his ear and say, “I still love you, Davey.”
“I still love you too--Kurtie.” I can feel us both smile.
“It’s about damn time!”, Krist says on the other end of the phone. Dave are calling Krist and we told him that we are back together, and we are definitely going to practice tomorrow.
I laugh. Dave pulls the phone away from me and says, “Kurt’s all blushing, it’s so cute, you should---okay I’ll shut up.” Dave laughs, then speaks again.
“So you wanna practice tomorrow? Awesome. See ya.” He hangs up the phone and squeals, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. Dave rests his head on my bony shoulder, allowing his arms to rest on my hips. He kisses my neck gently.
“I don’t know how I could ever let you go,” Dave whispers softly. I wrap my arms around his ribs and rest my head on his shoulder.
“I don’t know how I could let you leave me,” I whisper. Dave giggles quietly. I squeeze his warm body close to me, and kiss his neck. Not to brag or anything, but we really are perfect for each other.
The next morning, I wake up to Dave turning over and the sun in my eyes. I roll over slowly and face Dave, whose eyes are still closed, but his lips form a content, happy smile. I can’t resist. I lean forward and kiss them softly. Dave’s pretty eyes come open and stare into mine.
“Come here,” Dave says almost inaudibly, and I slip into his warm arms.
“I was dreaming,” Dave whispers, “about us.”
“What about us?” I ask quietly.
“You’ll see,” Dave says, kissing my nose, “You’ll see.”
I think Dave’s mom is beginning to like me. She made us pancakes this morning for breakfast. They were really good, Dave fed me a little. I smiled and blushed the whole time. After breakfast, Krist called, wondering what time we planned on practicing. I told him probably around 3. Being as it was only noon, Dave put me in the car, told me I need to get out, and starts driving me to the mall.
“This is KSWR 102.1, Seattle’s rockin’ radio.”
I laugh. Radio can be quite stupid sometimes. Dave takes my hand in his and brings it to his lips. He kisses it and places our hands back on the arm rest. AC/DC comes on. (I was just making up the radio station names, lol. Even if I did live in Washington for 7 years…lol.)
“Pretty Kurt!” Dave squeals, kissing my ear.
“Not to kill the moment, but you know that’s dangerous,” I say quietly, looking around, both directions, making sure we weren’t heard, much less seen.
Dave nods and we walk out of the store. After a few minutes, Dave turns to me and says, “Not to upset you, but you killed the moment back there.” We both giggle.
“So--how ‘bout we get something to eat, then,” Dave pauses, glancing at his watch, “we get our stuff and go to Krist’s. It’s 1:36 right now.” I nod. I am seriously dying to hold his hand right now. I whimper, and Dave catches on. He grabs my wrist and pulls me into the nearby men’s bathroom.
We disappear into the handicap stall, and Dave pulls me close to him. “I know how you feel. I feel the same way, angel. But I don’t want to attract negative attention.” I whimper again and nod.
“Awww I hate seeing you like this,” Dave says, kissing my lips, “You’re too pretty to pout.”
I pick up my guitar and walk out onto the balcony to wait on Dave, who has lost a drumstick. I will wait patiently, as the last time I yelled at him for taking ages, we broke up, and that’s the LAST thing I want.
“FOUND IT!”, I hear Dave yell from ‘our room’. I smile. We can finally go now.
Dave reappears with the sticks in his hand. He locks the door quickly and pauses for a quick kiss, before taking my hand, and walking down the steps. We set our stuff in the back, and start the reasonably short drive to Krists’s house.
I take a large swig of water after I finish ‘Negative Creep’. (A/N: I know I don’t have my ‘timelines’ right, but it’s pretty much based on high school/right after HS---just think about 4 or 5 years before Nevermind? Somewhere in there, lol.) We’ve finished practice for today, I decide, and announce that it’s over.
Dave pockets his drumsticks, Krist sets his bass down and tells Dave where the kitchen is so he can get a glass of water, then approaches me. “Dave is the best drummer we’ve ever had,” he says. I nod. This is 100% true. I mean, Chad was good---no doubt---but Dave? As good as they come.
“Perfect little doll,” Dave whispers in my ear, before quickly walking right past me. We can’t even let anyone (besides Krist) know that we are bisexual, much less a couple. Our fan base would be doomed. I blush big time.
“Well we will be going now,” Dave says. I nod and pick up my guitar. Dave and I walk out of the room, followed by a few fans, and Krist. We go outside, and start to unlock the car, when someone whose name is Jake, approaches us.
“It’s so obvious,” he says, lighting a cigarette. Mr. Cool, maybe?
Dave looks at me, and mouths ‘don’t do anything’. He then turns to Jake and says, “What’s so obvious?” Dammit, Dave. If I didn’t love you, I’d seriously slap you right now. Does he really not KNOW what’s obvious?
“You two. Together, dumbass,” Jake says. That’s fucking it. You don’t call my Dave a ‘dumbass’.
“I-I don’t know how it happened, I mean, he called Dave a dumbass and the next thing I knew I was here,” I say, a bit wierded out. Dave’s mom hands me the washcloth again. I press it to my forehead.
“You tried to practically kill the guy, babe,” Dave says, entering the room with a glass of water. He hands it to me and sits down on the bed, next to me. I sip it slowly, hand on my head still.
“You’re okay,” Dave’s mom says, smiling sympathetically. I can’t tell if it’s fake sympathy or if she really means it. I nod, and sip my water again. I feel Dave’s hand on my back.
“But---if I tried to---how did I wind up passed out here?”, I ask.
“People had to separate you from him, you were going ballistic, Kurt. We thought the fight had calmed down, you were a bit out of it, and then one of his friends just charges at you---I-I tried to help you, but I c-couldn‘t”, Dave stops. He looks like he’s close to tears. Hope I don’t speak too soon, but I think he really, really loves me. Dave’s mom hugs us both and walks out of the room.
Moments later, a sobbing Dave is in my arms. “Hun, I’m okay, you don’t have to cry,” I say, hoping he’ll stop. If he keeps crying, I’m going to start crying, then we’ll be one snotty mess of sobbing boys. Which is the last thing I want, as if Dave sees me crying, he’ll keep on crying and---
Dave is kissing me, really kissing me this time. This is the most passionate kiss I’ve ever experienced. Most other kisses I’ve had were quick, and meaningless. Dave---
He pulls back slowly, only to start kissing me again. He pushes me over on the bed and sits on my waist, never breaking the second kiss. When I can’t breathe anymore, he pulls back and says, “I’m so glad my Kurt is okay.”
“So---your mother and I are fine with your relationship with Kurt. We’re happy you’ve found someone you really feel compatible with,” says Dave’s father, swallowing a piece of carrot.
“How long has it been since you got together?”, Dave’s mom asks.
I place a glob of mashed potatoes in my mouth and pierce a carrot. Dave answers.
“5 months, 2 days,” he says, patting my shoulder. They smile. I blush a little. Dave chuckles. “He gets like this when people compliment him or talk about our relationship. See? It’s getting worse!”
I giggle and slowly my head rises. “I-it’s r-really good,” I mutter, smiling, pinkish red cheeks.
“Thank you, Kurt,” Mrs. Grohl says, smiling at me.
I roll over, again, and sigh quietly. I am pulling an all-nighter, for the first time since I met Dave. I sleep perfectly fine every night in this bed, better than I do when I sleep at home. Every night, Dave brushes his teeth, and then, sometimes sneaking and using Dave’s toothbrush, I brush mine. We cuddle a while under the covers and bask in love. Then, after a lengthy goodnight kiss, I pull the string to the light and we go to sleep.
I hope I don’t wake up Dave. My legs itch, I can’t get comfortable, my back hurts and my hair is in the way. I roll over onto to my back. After a moment, I sit up and gently slide out of bed. I walk out of the room, closing the door gently. I walk into the bathroom, shut the door and turn on the light. I sit myself on the edge of the bathtub, and start thinking about my love for Dave.
Somehow, after thinking way into the night, it has relaxed me, and I shall return to bed.
I wander back into the room, where, surprisingly, Dave is sitting up, on the edge of the bed with his hair sticking in millions of directions. “Dave?”, I whisper, getting his attention.
“Baby! I was just coming to look for you,” Dave whispers, then yawns silently. I nod.
“It’s okay, I just couldn’t sleep,” I say. I walk over to the window and peek out. Early morning denim/purple sky hangs heavily over Aberdeen, claiming 5:30 AM. Dave approaches me from behind, putting his hands on my shoulders and resting his head atop his left hand. We watch the sky, the trees, the other apartments. Ignoring the argument happening in another building, it’s beautiful. Even if Aberdeen is full of homophobic drunks.
We both back away from the window and Dave takes me back to bed.
Well there’s chapter 6! Hope you liked it. Chapter 7 is in the works. *gives coffee, random candy and chips to my beloved readers.* hehe =) Merry Christmas a day late. Lol.