Christmas Day

I had a sudden feeling that someone was staring at me. I slowly opened and closed my eyes hoping I didn't have to get up yet. I opened my eyes and saw Tracy looking at me. Tracy wasn't in her dress anymore. She was wearing a grey sweater and black sweat pants. She looked exhausted. Tracy brushed my hair out of my eyes and kept a straight face. Tracy cleared her throat and began to speak. "I cant remember last night." I blinked and studied her features. Tracy put her hands by her sides and waited for me to speak. "You were so wasted. You would barely let me touch you and you had an attitude with me." I said quietly. Tracy's facial expression began to look sad and uneasy. "Oh god. I'm- I'm so- " Tracy put her head in her hands. I yawned and sat up slowly. I heard her begin to sniffle. "Tracy-" "No. I'm sorry Kurt. I got drunk last night because I was worried. Really, really worried. I'm not a good girlfriend and I feel like me and you aren't going anywhere." Tracy sobbed. Woah. I didn't expect that. "Tracy its okay. Really, it is. I handled it pretty well.. Didn't you see I covered you up on the couch? I let you sleep where I was going to. I even stayed quiet so I wouldn't wake you." I paused. "You're a great girlfriend. We didn't do anything you'd regret either." Tracy lifted up her face from her hands. Tears ran down her cheeks as she looked at me. I glanced at her for a second and looked down at the sheets I was covered with. I looked up and scooted closer to her. She looked away and wiped her tears away. "Its fine. It really is." Tracy looked back at me with a guilty look in her eyes. Tracy wrapped her arms around me and hugged me softly. I blinked a couple times and squeezed her. Tracy sniffled and let go of me quickly. "Sorry.." She trailed off. Tracy got up off the bed and walked down the stairs. I shifted and turned my head towards the window. It was snowing outside. Wait. What day is it? I threw the sheets off of me and stood up on my feet. I ignored my back pain and stretched until I heard my arms pop. I looked down at the dirty floor and noticed I was still wearing the clothes I wore at Krists wedding. I'll change later. I plopped my arms down to my sides and stared at the clay babies. I gotta make sure I give those to Tracy soon. I made my way down the creaky stairs and went into kitchen. I wanted to make breakfast. Oh, Well lunch. It was 2 p.m. I got out our last box of mac n cheese, pots and a spoon. I picked up the pot and turned on the faucet to fill it up with water. I turned on the stove and let it heat up and then turned back around to grab the pot. I turned off the water and set the pot on the stove. I opened the box of mac n cheese and grabbed the packet of the powdery cheese. I set that aside and walked over to my cassette player to turn on some music in the living room. I searched through some tapes until I found my Sex Pistols one. I put it in and waited for it to play. I walked back into the kitchen and watched the steamy water. I dumped the macaroni noodles in the pot and picked up a wooden spoon to stir it up. I stirred slightly and listened to the music playing behind me.

After I was done making lunch, I sat at the table and began to eat the mac n cheese. I loved mac n cheese. It was my favorite meal. I ate some of my meal and listened to the rest of my Sex Pistols tape. Tracy walked out of the bathroom in a towel and saw me eating. "Yummy." She said walking up closer to me, opening her mouth. I scooped up the macaroni noodles and fed them to her like a baby. Tracy giggled and chewed quietly. I took 3 more bites of it and got up from my seat to put it back in the pot. I scraped it off with my fork and set all of the dishes in the sink. "Tracy." I yelled. "Yeah?" "What day is it?" I asked. "I actually have no idea. Look on the calendar sweetheart." I walked over to the calendar hanging on the wall. Today was Christmas Eve. "Its Christmas Eve." I said aloud. "What?" Tracy yelled. "Hey, I'll be back soon Tracy." I said. I quickly walked over to the couch and grabbed my heavy coat. I walked over to the cassette player and turned it off. I grabbed my keys and wallet off the counter and sat on the ground to put on my shoes. I got up quickly and opened the door without saying another word to Tracy. I closed the door behind me and stared at a car passing by. I walked over to my car and opened the door, preparing to get in. I moved my coat to my other arm and got in. I turned around to throw my coat in the back seat when I saw the sweater the boys and I messed around with practically a month ago. I stared at it for a second and wondered where I would put it. I kept staring at the sweater as I put my heavy coat next to it. I turned around and put the keys into the ignition. I adjusted mirror and accidentally caught a glimpse of myself. I looked down quickly, trying to forget that I saw my ugly face. I was so hideous I had a hard time looking in the mirror. It wasn't easy for me.. I was always made fun of because I looked too feminine. At least, that's what everyone would say when I was in high school. I brushed my dirty blonde hair behind my ears and rubbed my face. I looked back down at my steering wheel, when I remembered that I had my car running. I put my hands on the wheel and began pulling out the tiny drive way. I began driving towards the store to buy Tracy, Chad and Krist Christmas gifts. I didn't wanna have to go out so late because I knew that there is gonna be people shopping late just like me. I frowned at that thought. I knew I shouldn't of gone out but I thought I should of.. It would make Tracy feel better. I bet Krist and Chad already went shopping for me too.. All these guilty thoughts flooded my mind as I drove to the store.

I pulled into the parking lot of the store and quickly got out. I was surprised I got here so quickly, usually I would drive slower than a grandma. I brushed my hair out of my face and slammed the car door shut. I felt my stomach pains begin to kick in as soon as I walked into the store. I groaned softly and kept walking past the angry people standing in line. I walked to a specific isle that was full of people. The clothing isle. I shyly pushed past an angry teenage couple to get to the end of the isle. I didn't really know what Tracy liked. after all, everyone knows guys are never good at shopping. I glanced at the selection of shirts for a second. I began to search through the selection when one happened to stick out. I held up the shirt in front of me and looked it up and down. The shirt was marigold and had white lacy sleeves. I didn't think it would fit Tracy all right. It always seemed liked what I thought was ugly, Tracy liked. I took the shirt down and looked in the other direction to check for more guy looking shirts. I began walking down the crowded isle to the boys section. I grabbed Chad a long black sweater and Krist a brown turtle neck. I turned around blinked a couple times and headed my way to the check out isle. I folded up the shirts and stood there quietly while I watched a moody husband and wife fight over the last thing in their shopping cart. I rolled my eyes and stepped forward. I started to hand my shirts to the clerk when a mother and her child cut me. The mother threw my hand back and handed her things to the clerk. I stood there in shock for a second until my anger caused me to speak. "Uh, excuse you." I said coldly. The mother took a hold of her child's hand and gave me a cold stare. "What? Cant you see i'm in a fucking hurry?" The mother said with a cold tone in her voice. I rolled my eyes in anger and stepped back a couple feet. What makes her think she can cut me? I'm in a hurry too. Everyone in here is in a fucking hurry. She just used that excuse because she has her child. "Bitch." I mumbled under my breath. I rubbed my hungry nauseous stomach to relieve some of my stress. When the clerk was done checking out all of the mothers things she motioned me to come forward. I walked closer to the clerk and set the clothes on the check out counter. The clerk looked at me for a second and gave me a sorry look. The clerk was alright looking, She had bright blue eyes and long black hair swooped over her shoulder. She wore a uniform that was blue and black and had a slim gold necklace on over it. She started to say something when I reached into my pocket for my wallet. I eyed her and watched her eyes focus on my features. I took a quick glance at her name tag and it read: Becky. I quietly pulled out a 20 and set it on the counter. Becky looked into my eyes and nodded. Jenny put the 20 into the cash register as I put my wallet back into my pocket. "Merry Christmas Eve..Kurt." She said softly. Whoa, how did she know my name? I pretended like I didn't notice and took the shirts off the counter and walked to the exit of the store. I hugged the shirts close to my chest and walked outside back into the cold. I looked at the ground and lightly put my foot in the slush. I tapped my foot in it and it made a weird squishy sound. I stopped fooling around and walked closer to the car, got in, buckled my seat belt and threw the shirts in the back along with all the other things. I turned the keys into the ignition and waited for the heat and radio to turn back on. I pulled out of the slushy parking lot of the store and began driving back home.

My hair began to fall into my face as I pulled into my drive way. I sighed sharply, causing my hair to fly back out of my face. I shut off the ignition, put my keys into my pocket and opened the car door. I turned around and grabbed the stuff I bought for Tracy, Krist and Chad, my coat and the sweater. I folded it all into a ball and got out of the car. I set the ball of clothes on top of the car and shut the car door. I made sure I wrapped Tracy's gift into my coat so that way if I walked in, she wouldn't notice I bought her something. I quickly took out my keys and put them into my mouth. I picked up the clothes with one arm and walked to the front door. I spat out the keys, caught them with my other hand and put them into the lock. I twisted the door knob quietly and opened the door slowly. I walked into my dim looking apartment. I walked in slowly with the gifts and looked at the lit up Christmas tree. I held my stomach in pain as I threw the clothing and keys next to my feet, sat down and took off my wet shoes. I picked up the clothing, keys and sat up slowly. I walked over to the Christmas tree and saw a couple of neatly wrapped Christmas presents sitting there. I leaned in closer and saw they all had my name labeled on them. To: Kurt, From: Your girlfriend, Tracy. Merry Christmas." I smirked at the pretty sight of the tree and walked into the kitchen. I carefully set my keys and clothing on the counter and wiped my hair out of my face. I needed wrapping paper, scissors and tape but I had no idea where Tracy puts all that stuff. I thought about all the places Tracy could've kept those things. I silently walked up to our room and peaked in. I squinted to see in the darkness to see if Tracy was sleeping. I walked in and turned on the light. Luckily, Tracy wasn't sleeping in our bed. I looked around for a second to see if it was out in the open. I walked over to me and Tracy's closet and searched for it there. I got down on my knees when I began to feel even more nauseous than I was before. I groaned and kept searching anyway. I looked past the shoes and spotted Santa themed wrapping paper. "Yay." I said, grabbing the wrapping paper. I got up quickly, causing me gag. I cursed under my breath and began to run downstairs to the bathroom. I entered the bathroom and quickly threw the wrapping paper down. I slammed on my knees and put my head in the toilet.

After vomiting my brains out, I got up and flushed the toilet. I just another typical day. I'm so fucking suck of this shit. I just wanna blow my fucking head off. My stomach began to growl. I ignored it and opened up the bathroom cabinet to find scissors. I spotted them and tape. Why dis we have tape in the bathroom? Who cares. At least I've got what I needed. I gathered all of the stuff I needed to wrap Krist's, Chads and Tracy's gift and went back out into the kitchen. I walked to the kitchen counter and began wrapping Tracy's gift, then Krists and then Chads. I picked up the squishy gifts and grabbed a sharpie off the counter and wrote From: Kurt. on all of them. I looked over and saw my notebook sitting there. I thought thats was on my bed upstairs? Tracy must've brought it down here. She better of not read it.. But what did I have to hide? I grabbed my notebook along with the gifts and got up. I walked over to the tree and set all of the gifts down next to Tracy's gifts.

"Kurty Birdy, wake up man." Krist said shaking me. "Its Christmas morning you better get your ass up." Chad said from a distance away. I opened my eyes and saw Tracy and Krist standing over me. "Why, hello." I said in a smooth tone. I rubbed my eyes and sat up. I looked at Tracy and she gave me a concerned look. I fake smiled at her and got up from the couch. I sat on the floor next to the tree and looked at the gifts I wrapped last night. "Oooooh, what did you get me?" Krist said jumping up and down. "Well open it." I said pointing to one of my gifts. "I'll tell you if it belongs to you." I added in. Krist reached for a gift. Krist jumped up and down while opening his present. "Holy poop" Krist said looking at his gift. "Thanks man." Krist said smiling at me. I fake smiled at Krist and then looked over at Chad. "Chad you're next." I said in a scary tone. Chad wined and walked over to a present. "Scurry." Chad said, while opening a random gift. "Woah man, I don't think this will bring out my eyes to well." Chad said, looking at Tracy's gift. "Oh, I almost forgot your purse and earrings." I joked. Chad smiled at me and handed Tracy her gift. Tracy smiled at me and looked at her gift. "Thank you." Tracy said, leaning down to kiss my cheek. I let her kiss my cheek and handed Chad his real gift. Chad opened the gift with a goofy grin on his face. I chuckled at his stupid expression and watched his eyes light up. Chad held up the gift and screamed like a toddler then went to a straight face in a matter of seconds. "Sweet dude." Chad said smiling. I smiled back and began to open my gifts. Tracy got me a mudhoney shirt and a pair of black converse. I was very satisfied with my gifts she got me this year. "You like?" Tracy said smiling at me. "Oh yeah. Mama Mia this is fantastic." "Well there just so happens to be more than that." Tracy said looking behind her. Wait she got me more stuff? Oh my. Tracy walked away from all of us and came back with a tall box that said: FRAGILE on it. Tracy set it next to me carefully. It sounded like it had water in it.. Oh man, It cant be. I tore off the wrapping paper and saw a glass tank filled with turtles. I counted 5. I felt really guilty for not getting her anything real special this year.. "This is awesome.." I said getting up off my butt. I was really obsessed with turtles.. They just kinda fascinated me in a way. Like, you knock on their shells and it hurts them, They're the kind of pet that's like "Fuck you, i'm not going to entertain you." If they fell on their backs they would crack their shell and die. I picked up the tank and took it to the bathroom while everyone out in the living room talked. I turned the knob to turn on the water, to fill up my bathtub for the turtles. I dumped the turtles into my bathtub and watched them slowly swim around. Tracy came in the bathroom and watched me play around with the turtles. I sat on the edge of the bathtub and Tracy joined me. "Merry Christmas." Tracy said, kissing my cheek.