I stared deeply into his eyes. The eyes that are so beautiful, yet sad. So much hurt behind them. He didn't even know I was staring at him. He was too busy nuzzling his little baby girl, Frances's hair as she slept in his arms. He's truly beautiful. Everything about him. He'll never know the way I feel about him. He considers us as best friends, but I want so much more. I want him to be mine. But I'll just keep dreaming.
I quickly looked away as he turned his head and looked at me. Hopefully he didn't notice me staring into his eyes.
"Dave, could you hold Frances for me until I smoke?" He asked. His voice is so beautiful. Raspy, but it suits him perfectly.
I simply gave him a nod. He was slow to stand up, careful not to wake his baby girl. He handed her carefully to me, and then he lit up a cigarette. It was silent for a few moments, until his wife came running into the room.
"Kurt! There you are. I wanted to say goodbye before I left." Courtney said. She quickly took Frances away from me and kissed her head.
"You be a good girl for mommy." She whispered in her ear and softly laid her back down on me.
I felt my heart sink when she wrapped Kurt in her arms and hugged him tightly. "Goodbye. I love you. I'll see you in a few weeks." And then she kissed him, and that's when my heart broke.
I should be the one to kiss him. I've known him longer than her. I've been there for him more than her. It isn't fair. Not even a little. But whatever makes Kurt happy.
"Bye, Dave." She said with a wave and then she rushed out the door.
I waited until Kurt finished his cigarette before giving Frances back to him. "I better be going. I'll see you later, Kurt. If you need anything call me, okay?"
He nodded. "Okay. I'll see you later."
I laid in bed, unable to fall asleep. I had Kurt on my mind and I couldn't stop thinking of him. He's so... perfect. I love everything about him. His blue eyes, his voice, personality, his smile that makes everything brighter, and-
My thoughts were interrupted by the phone ringing. I glanced at the clock, seeing it was a little past midnight. Who would call this late?
I shot out of bed and ran downstairs to where the phone was ringing.
"Hello?" I said once I picked it up.
"D-Dave, can you please co-come over?" It was Kurt, and by his voice he sounded like he was in pain.
"Yeah I'll be right there." I said quickly and hung up.
I practically flew the way to Kurt's. Once I got there, he was laying on the floor, gasping for air. He said he had woken up to fix Frances a bottle and he tripped and fell down the stairs. I took Frances and buckled her up into her car seat, then I carefully helped Kurt into the car.
We are now at the hospital. Kurt was staring blankly at the wall as a doctor wrapped a cast around his arm. Frances was standing on my lap, giggling and jumping up and down.
Kurt looked over at us, and smiled. His smile seemed to make everything better. Everything brighter. I smiled back at him, and then he looked away.
"There you go. You should keep that cast on for about six weeks. I'm sure your husband will help you around until your arm heals. You can leave now. Have a nice night." The doctor said and then he left.
"What?" I asked. He shook his head and continued to chuckle. I couldn't stop the smile that formed on my face. He looked so beautiful smiling and chuckling.
"It's just that he thought we were married." He said and then he slowly stood up. "Ready to go?" He asked. I nodded.
I was a little disappointed. He thought the idea of us being together was funny. I held tightly onto Frances. Why can't me, Kurt, and Frances just be one happy family together? I smiled at the thought, but my smile faded when I realized that'll never happen. I'm not that lucky. Besides, he loves Courtney.
The drive was pretty silent, other than Frances making noises and giggling from the backseat. Once we got to Kurt's, I helped him put Frances to sleep and into her crib.
"Thanks, Dave. I know it's a lot to ask for, but could you stay with me for a while until my arm heals and help me with Frances and stuff?" Kurt asked nervously.
"It's not a problem at all. I'd love to." I answered with a smile. And I wasn't lying. Staying with Kurt and helping him around meant I got to see him more.
"Thanks. Umm... if you want I could sleep on the couch and you sleep in my bed." He said.
I shook my head. "No. I'll sleep on the couch."
"Actually... c-could you sleep with me? Sometimes I have nightmares and I need... comfort."
I chuckled at how adorable he sounded and nodded. "Sure."
I laid down in the bed and waited for him. He was trying to take his shirt off, but he couldn't get the sling off. I rolled out of the bed and helped him take off the sling and then his shirt.
"Thanks." He mumbled. He laid in bed and I laid beside him. I didn't sleep too close to him because I didn't want to make things awkward.
After a while, I almost fell asleep until I felt Kurt stir and then he was right beside me. He nuzzled his head into my chest and sighed. I bit my lip, trying to hold back a smile.
"Goodnight." I whispered.
I woke up and tried to pull myself out of bed but a sharp pain in my arm caused me to gasp and lay back down on the bed. I heard light, rushing footsteps and then Dave appeared in the room.
"Good morning. You need help out of bed?" He asked. I nodded. He picked me up bridal style and carefully put me on the ground.
"Thanks." I said with a smile. "Can you help me with my shirt?" I asked nervously. He nodded and grabbed my shirt off the floor. He carefully helped me into it, then he helped me put the sling on. Our eyes met for a moment and just for a second I had some sort of feeling. Maybe... a spark? But then he looked away from me.
"Where's Frances?" I asked.
"Still sleeping." He answered. "Do you want breakfast?"
I shook my head. "No thanks. I feel kinda sick right now."
"Okay." He said. We stood there for a minute in silence until I spoke.
"I'm gonna take a shower."
"Do you need help?" He asked. I felt nervously about the idea of Dave helping me take a shower. Why am I feeling so nervous around him? He's my best friend. I shouldn't be nervous and having these weird feelings.
"No I'll be fine." I answered with a reassuring smile. He smiled back at me and nodded.
The warm water felt good to my cold skin. I smiled at how amazing it felt. I stepped back a little, and that's when I fell. Ugh damn.
I tried to get up, but I couldn't. A sharp pain went through my arm when I put pressure on it, causing me to scream. I heard the door open, then close.
"Kurt, oh my god. Are you okay?" Dave asked in panic.
"Y-yeah I'm okay. Can you help me get up? I fell." I said.
He opened the shower certain and looked down at me. His eyes went wide and his bit his bottom lip. I felt myself blushing as he continued to stare at me.
"Dave?" I said in a whisper.
He shook his head before grabbing my non-broken arm and carefully helping me up a little, then he pick me up bridal style and stood me up. I stood there shivering as he grabbed a towel and wrapped it around me.
He began to dry me slowly and carefully. I just stood there, feeling hopeless and didn't say anything as he dried me. I bit my lip when he quickly dried my private place. After he dried me, he helped me dress and put the sling back on my arm.
"Better?" He asked. He seemed to be so close to me. There was one thing running through my mind and that was "kiss me". Of course I didn't say anything. I pushed those thoughts away. I shouldn't want him to kiss me. Maybe it was because he was so close or something.
I nodded and he just stood there, staring into my eyes. He started to lean closer, his nose brushed against mine. And then Frances started to cry.
"I'll get her." Dave said and quickly left the room.
"Wow." I whispered to myself.
I was watching cartoons with Frances as she sat in my lap. I didn't realize she had fell asleep until her small head fell to the side. I chuckled and kissed her head, then I laid her down on my lap and smiled at her.
"You're good with kids, you know that?" Kurt said.
"Really?" I asked. He nodded.
"Yeah. How about we take Frances to the park?" He suggested. I nodded.
Frances giggled happily as me and Kurt pushed her on the swing. She clapped her hands as he went higher and higher. I sat on a swing beside her and started to swing. I felt bad for Kurt since he couldn't swing because one of his arms were broken. I waited until he gave Frances another hard push before grabbed him and pulling him on my lap, swinging us kind of low. He smiled at me and looked in my eyes.
"This is fun. I really like this." He whispered. "I don't really get to do this, you know?"
"Really?" I asked.
He nodded. "Yeah. Courtney doesn't like to get out and do stuff like this. But it's really fun."
I nodded at him and then he rested his head on my shoulder. It was starting to get late, but I didn't want to leave yet.
"Daddy and daddy." Frances said pointing to us and giggled. Kurt didn't say anything, but I could feel him smiling on my neck. This is perfect.
It had been a few weeks since Kurt had broke his arm. We were beginning to get really close. Sometimes we would watch movies together and end up cuddling. I've come close to kissing him a few times. And sometimes we would just stare into each other's eyes for a long time. He's seemed to be smiling more and there's a tint of happiness in his eyes. I know all the fun will be over once Courtney comes back, but I have to make it last.
Frances clumsily ran around the house, giggling and clapping her small hands. I looked over at Kurt who was watching her and smoking a cigarette. A small smile formed on his face when Frances ran to him and hugged his leg.
After a while, Frances seemed to get tired. I helped her up on Kurt's lap where she rested her head on Kurt's tummy and fell asleep.
He chuckled. "She's adorable."
I nodded in agreement and took Frances to her crib. I sat beside her for a while, making sure she wouldn't wake up before I went back to Kurt's room. He sat on the bed, with his eyes filled with tears.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
He looked up at me before wiping away his tears with his sweater. "Nothing. Sorry." He whispered. I sat on the bed beside him and laid my hand on his knee.
"You can tell me." I said. He sighed before pulling out a newspaper under the bed. There on the front page was a story about a girl getting raped.
"I hate it." He said, his eyes starting to tear up again. "Why the fuck would someone do something like that?" He yelled and that's when tears started to fall.
"It's fucking stupid! Rape. Rape. Rape. I hate it! Why would someone do that just-" He didn't finish what he was saying. He began to sob. I pulled him in my arms, careful not to hurt his broken arm. I held him as he cried.
"Shh. It's okay. It's okay." I repeated until he began to calm down. He pulled away from me and sniffled a few times.
"Sorry. I just... I hate stuff like that."
I nodded. "It's okay. Don't apologize."
"Dave, why can't everything just be... perfect. Why do people have to do bad things like that?"
I shrugged. "I don't know, Kurt. Those people are just mean."
He nodded before looking at me with his bloodshot eyes. "Kiss me." He whispered desperately.
"Wh-what?" I asked. Did he really just say that? He wants me to kiss him? Really?
"I'm sorry. I'm stupid. I-" But I didn't let him finish what he was saying. I leaned in and smashed our lips together. The kiss was gentle and innocent. Our lips moved perfect together.
After we ran out of breath, we pulled away. Kurt looked down at his lap. "I shouldn't have... but I-I... I wanted to. You make me happy, Dave. Happier than Courtney does. I... I love you."
I smiled and took his hand, lacing our fingers together. "You make me happy too. And I love you more than life." And then Frances started to cry.
"I'll help her get back to sleep." I whispered.
"Bring her in here." Kurt said. I nodded and got Frances. When I brought her into Kurt's room, Kurt laid on the bed.
"Come lay with me." He whispered. I smiled and laid Frances down in the middle. Me and Kurt on both sides of her. She stopped crying and fell back asleep.
"Goodnight beautiful." I whispered.
I slowly opened my eyes to see Frances sleeping peacefully and Kurt snuggled next to her. I smiled and ran my fingers through Kurt's soft, dirty blonde, hair. He opened his amazing blue eyes and looked at me and then he smiled.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." I said quickly. He chuckled before climbing over Frances and straddling me.
"You know, Courtney will be coming back tomorrow." He said and then he sighed. I sat up and wrapped my arms around him.
"I know... What are we going to do?"
He lightly shrugged. "I don't know. I'm so confused."
"About what?" I asked.
"I really like you, Dave. But... Courtney-"
I didn't want to talk about this right now. I knew Kurt would end this little thing we had going on. I just didn't want to hear him say it. I didn't want to think about him and Courtney being together.
"Let's just not talk about it right now. Let's just enjoy today." I said, interrupting him.
He nodded and pressed his lips against mine, kissing me with passion. I held onto his hips, holding him in place. I didn't want him to leave me. All I wanted was him to stay with me. But he would never leave Courtney. I just knew it.
"So... my mom is going to get Frances for today." He whispered in my ear and ran his cold fingers down my chest.
"And... we'll be all alone." He whispered and kissed my cheek. I chuckled and squeezed him tightly.
"You're really something, you know that?"
He chuckled and kissed my shoulder. "I know."
"Daddy?" Frances said making us jump. She lightly giggled and clapped her hands together. Kurt grinned at her, causing her to smile at him.
"She really loves you." I said to him. He smiled at me before pecking my lips.
"Come on Frances, we have to get ready." He said before getting off me.
"You're so beautiful." I whispered in Kurt's ear and wrapped my arms around his waist. He turned around and kissed me deeply.
"I need you." He whispered and pushed me against the shower wall. I bit my lip as he kissed my chest and made his way down.
"Kurt... I-I don't think we should."
"Why not?" He asked.
"Because... Courtney." I sighed.
"Who cares?" He whispered and took all of me into his mouth. I gasped as he quickly bobbed his head.
"Kurt... No." I groaned. He stopped and rose back up to me. He looked in my eyes before kissing me deeply.
As he kissed me, he grind his hips into mine. He bit into my bottom lip and pulled at it. Then he stopped everything.
"You sure you want me stop?" He whispered in my ear. I shook my head quickly for a no. I could feel him smile as he kissed my neck.
And then he kissed my lips again.
I was confused. I didn't know whether I should stay with Courtney, or Dave. I did love Courtney... but my feelings changed. But I can't think of myself. I have to make a good choice for Frances. So I guess I'll be staying with Courtney.
"Hey." Dave whispered and kissed my cheek.
"Hi." I mumbled. I didn't want to tell him my decision. I didn't want to hurt him.
"What's wrong?" He asked. I shook my head.
"Nothing. Why?" I asked and then put on a fake smile. He frowned at me and pulled me close.
"Tell me." He said desperately.
I sighed. "Dave... I can't be with you." I said slowly.
"What do you mean?" He asked. I looked away from him.
"I love Courtney." I whispered.
"I thought you said you love me." He said. I could hear the hurt in his voice.
"Maybe I lied." I whispered. I was lying to him. I did love him. But I couldn't leave Courtney. I'm being so selfish.
"Please tell me you're just joking." He said and then he took my hand, but I pulled it away.
"Kurt, please, don't leave me. I love you." He said desperately. I looked at him and into his eyes. They were filled with hurt, and I knew he was on the edge of tears. And then I heard the door open and close. Courtney's back.
"I'm sorry." I whispered and kissed his cheek before getting off the bed.
"Kurt!" Courtney yelled.
"Kurt, don't. Please." Dave whispered.
"You should go." I said.
"You used me." He said. I didn't say anything. I just looked at him and he stared back. He slowly got off the bed and took my hand again. I pulled away and pushed him.
"Stop it, Dave. We aren't even in a relationship. Maybe I did use you. Now you can leave. I don't want to see you anymore."
"Fine then. Fuck you. I don't want to ever see you again either." He yelled and then he pushed past me an left.
"Dave..." I whispered.
"Kurt, whats going on?" Courtney asked as she came running up the stairs.
"Nothing. Just an argument. I missed you." I said. She smiled and kissed my cheek.
"I missed you too."
I can't believe he used me like that. Like I was nothing. He tricked me. He lied to me. Everything was so fake and a lie. He probably just used me so he wouldn't get lonely. He probably had it all planned out. He probably broke his arm on purpose.
I kept my head down as I continued to walk. I didn't know where I was going, but I needed to get away from everything. My heart was crushed. I felt so broken. I had no one. I feel so alone.
"Dave?" I heard a voice. I turned around to see Krist running up to me.
"What's wrong?" He asked.
I shook my head. "It's nothing." I whispered.
"You sure? You look pretty down." He said.
I nodded. "I just want to be alone."
He sighed. "Okay. If you need anything call me." And then he wrapped his arms around me. I held onto tightly and that's when I started to sob.
"Krist... h-he lied to me. He fucking used me." I sobbed.
"Oh Dave. Shh. It'll be alright." He whispered.
"No it won't. Nothing will be alright. He told me he love me but it was just a lie." I cried.
"Come on. You can't be by yourself right now." He said and then he picked me up.
"Where a-are we going?" I asked.
"To my place." He said.
I told Krist the whole story. From where Kurt broke his arm to where Courtney came back. I couldn't stop the tears that rolled down my cheeks, but Krist didn't seem to mind. He would wipe them away and tell me everything would be okay. I didn't know if I could believe that or not. Kurt was everything to me. But I was nothing to him.
"I'm so sorry, Dave. I don't know why he would do something like that to you."
I sighed. "I just don't know what to do."
He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly. I hugged him back. I didn't want him to let go. I needed comfort more than anything right now.
"I don't want to see him ever again, Krist. I hate him."
He nodded. "I know you feel that way. But you don't mean it."
I pulled away from the hug and looked down. "I'm so scared." I whispered.
"Why?" He asked.
"I'm scared that my heart will always be broken and it will never heal." I said in a whisper, my voice cracking.
"I know you feel that way right now, but things will get better." He assured me and then he put his finger under my chin, lifting my head up. "It'll be okay." He said in a whisper.
I sighed. "I hope so."
I laid in bed beside Courtney. I couldn't fall asleep. I was worried about Dave. I shouldn't have been so mean to him. I shouldn't have pushed him away.
I miss him. I wish he was laying beside me instead of Courtney. I wish I could snuggle in his chest and hear his heartbeat. But I can't. Because I made a stupid decision.
I wonder where he is and what he's doing. He probably hates me now. I could hear light rain drops hitting the roof and then Frances started to cry.
"I'll get her." Courtney said as she sleepily got out of bed. A few minutes later she returned with a crying Frances.
"She wants daddy." Courtney said and laid Frances beside me. I wrapped my arm around her and kissed her head. She shook her head and continued to cry.
"Daddy." She whined and then I knew exactly who she was talking about. She wanted Dave.
It had been a few days since Kurt said he didn't want me. But I still want him more than anything. I miss him. I haven't heard anything about him. I've sat around all week, waiting for him to call, or show up, or something. But he never did. Even though he hurt me, I want him. I need so see him. I need to hear his voice again.
Finally, I decided to leave the house. I walked and walked until I reached a bridge. I sat down and stared at the water.
"Dave?" A voice whispered behind me. I looked behind me to see Kurt standing there. I looked away from him and looked back into the water. A nervous feeling came over me. What would I say to him?
He sat beside me and looked into the water before looking at me. "I miss you." He whispered.
I looked at him and straight into his eyes before looking back at the water.
He sighed. "I didn't mean a damn thing I said, Dave. I do love you. And I can't stand a day without seeing you. You make everything so so much better. And Frances misses you. And... I miss you too."
I shrugged . How did I know he wasn't lying? How did I know he just wasn't going to use me again?
"I'm gonna be playing a show tonight. I understand if you don't want to come and do the drumming. But I would like for you to come and watch." He said.
I didn't say anything. I just continued to look at the water. I felt him kiss my cheek and then he left.
I didn't know why I was here. Of course I wasn't going to do the drumming, but I was going to watch Kurt sing. His voice is beautiful.
He stepped up to the mic and cleared his throat before he looked slowly around the room until he stopped at me, looking me in the eyes.
"Before I start, I need to say something." Kurt said. Everyone stopped talking and started listening.
"Dave, I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm so damn sorry for what I did. I love you and I miss you. The time that I was with you was... perfect. You make me happy. You might not believe me when I say I'm sorry. But I just want everyone to know I love you." He said as he looked me straight in the eyes. I couldn't stop the blush and smile that appeared on my face. Did he really just do that?
Kurt sat his guitar down and made his way over to me. He never took his eyes away from mine.
"I'm sorry. Please forgive me and... give me another chance." He said.
"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" Everyone chanted.
I smiled and shook my head. "I love you too." I said before smashing our lips together. I could feel him smile into the kiss, but neither of us pulled away. I kissed him with all the passion I could.
We kissed until we were both out of breath. He took my hand, lacing our fingers together, before whispering in my ear, "Together forever."
It had been three years since me and Kurt got back together. Now we are married and living happily with Frances.
"Hey, Dave?" Kurt whispered.
"I love you."
I smiled. "I love you too."
"You know what else?" He asked.
He crept over to me an straddled me. "Frances is asleep. Let's go play with water guns."
I chuckled. "You're really something you know?"
He smiled and pecked my lips. "I know."