Febuary 20th. Today's my 26th birthday. I'm excited because it's my birthday, but I'm a little put-off because it'll be 4 years 'til I'm 30. When I'm 30, I'll be old. Crap. But I know today's gonna be a good day.
I wake up expecting to find Dave in bed with me. Dave's my amazing boyfriend and the drummer for our band, Nirvana. I've been living with him in his apartment when we aren't on tour. Kris, our bassist and my best friend/brother lives a few miles away. He's not in bed, so I decide to get up, get dressed and go to the kitchen. He's probably in there making me pancakes or something. He's sweet like that. I can hear noise as I get closer to the kitchen.
"It's all your fault!!"
"Don't yell at me! You added too much flour!"
"Well, you didn't add the baking soda."
"It said self rising on the box!! Now it's ruined!!"
"If you cry, I'm smacking you."
What. The. Hell. I smell chocolate. And strawberries. I take a deep breath and brace myself for what I may find.
I find Dave sitting on the kitchen floor whimpering, and Kris standing at the sink shaking his head. There's something that looks like cake batter and mashed up strawberries all over the kitchen.
"Hey, guys....What....exactly happened....?" I ask, but most likely I know what happened. Before I can blink I find myself on my back, Dave has me pinned.
"Kurt it was terrible!! We were gonna make you a cake, see? A really nice chocolate cake with strawberry jelly inside and lil' stawberries on top with fudge....But Kris was stupid and put too much flour in it! And so....it exploded...." Dave looks gloomy. I smile, and Dave looks even sadder. "It's not funny!" he growls.
"Thanks for the...um....exploded cake guys. I'm sure if it didn't explode it would've been quite delicious." I say, and Dave perks up a bit. I grab his head and pull him down for a kiss. Kris pulls Dave off of me and I get up. "So, what do we do now?" I grab a napkin to wipe off the cake goo from a chair and sit down. Kris sets a liter of Coke, Dr. Pepper, a bottle of Champagne and a bottle of Capt. Morgan in front of me.
"Isn't it a bit too early to drink?" I ask him. It's only 10:30 AM. Kris shakes his head.
"Nonsense. It's never too early to drink." He says. "You want some Dave?" he motions my boyfriend to sit down. Dave shakes his head.
"Hang on.....I'm looking for something! I know it's in here......Aha!" Dave pulls out 3 cans of cake frosting. "We were going to frost it with these....but we have no cake, so we can just eat the frosting." He smiles and sets them on the table. Chocolate, Strawberry, and a Choco-Vanilla swirl. I grab the swirled frosting.
"That sounds real nice, Dave." I grin, and Dave gets some little striped candles from a drawer and sticks them in the frosting. Kris pulls out a lighter from his pocket and lights them. They don't sing to me 'coz I'm really not up for that right now. I blow out the candles and they clap and sit down with the rest of the frosting. Kris has strawberry and Dave has chocolate. We have fun; The three of us eating sugar loaded frosting, laughing our butts off and generally acting like retards.
By noon, we're all giddy off sugar and Rum and Cokes and the rest of the drinks. Kris set into the Capt. Morgan, Dave drank a good half of the champagne, I finished off the rest of the Rum and Dr. Pepper which left us all to split the remaining Coke. Kris is mumbling half-understood lines from Nabakov works and Macbeth, and I run my foot up Dave's ankle. He smiles at me, I giggle and place my foot a little high up on his thigh. Kris leans back in his chair and spies what we're doing.
"Woah, dudes. Dudes. No footsies under the-Oh sweet Jesus!!" he leans back a little too far, because he falls backward and hits the floor. We're both laughing hard as he grumbles and rubs the back of his head. "You all are a bunch of....oh, screw it." Dave shakes his head and leans over the table.
"So, Baby-Doll, what'd you wish for? Hmm?" He whispers.
"You'll find out later." I say. He growls and I get up from my chair and motion him over to the couch. He follows me and pulls me on his lap, kissing me all over my face. Kris sits next to us, completely ignoring what we're doing and grabs a plastic bag from the floor.
"If y'all want to, I've got some movies. They're like, really old gory films. The Exploitation Film stuff, ya know?" He says, opening the bags. Dave stops kissing me and looks through it. Very intresting. Two Thousand Maniacs, SS Experiment Camp, Blood-Sucking Freaks, Child Bride and Cannibal Holocaust.
"Ooooh. Niiiiice!" Dave seems happy with these. "Which one would you like, Kurt?" He asks me. I go with Cannibal Holocaust because I've always thought being a cannibal would be cool. Yeah, I've had some weird thoughts while stoned. The movie's a complete bloodbath. It's almost like a documentary film filled with cannibalism, violence and naked Amazon warrior men. I'm staring in complete awe during the gorey parts, and Dave buries his face in my shoulder, running his lips up and down my neck. It feels good. I can't tell if he wants me or if he's scared and distracting himself. Near the end he gets up and grabs me from the couch.
"Come with me." He says. He seems very cryptic in a sense. He kisses me and I nod and follow him into our bedroom. Kris never looks away from the screen. I close the door behind us and Dave sits down on the bed. I'm not sure what he wants to do so I sit next to him. He keeps looking at me out of the corner of his eye. I smile and kiss him. He grins and pulls me on his lap again and we're kissing, I'm sucking on his tounge and he's growling, kissing and biting my neck.
"Mmmm, that movie make you horny, Davey?" I'm squirming around in his arms, he won't let me put up a fight. he's always the dominant one. He shakes his head.
"Not exactly." He replies. "I just wanted to be alone with you for a bit, Kurty. Hmmm.....y'know....just a little birthday thing."
"My present?" I ask, smiling like a retard.
"Nope. I've just always wanted to do this....we've never done it before, and....well, I'm guessing it'd be appropriate since it's your birthday...." He's blushing now. "Here. Lay down." I feel bummed it's not my present but I do as he says, laying on my back. Dave grabs me and lays me on my stomach. I think I know what he's going to do. He tilts his head down and kisses me, with his hands pulling down my jeans and underwear.
"Noooo." I whine. I'm self-consious about my body and I hate my skinny lily-white ass. Dave hushes me. "And don't tell me it's cute, 'coz it's not!"
"You have the perfect ass." He says, and that kinda makes me feel better. But not a whole lot. I bite my bottom lip as his hand hits the back of my thighs. It stings. Second one right on my ass. Twenty-four to go, I think. Tears are welling up in my eyes by 10. It hurts, but not in the same breath as it would a parent spanking you. He's my boyfriend.
"Dave. Ah!" I whisper his name then I wince as 12 hits me.
"You like this. You like this." He says, almost taunting me. The pain starts to lessen by 16. I moan. "Yeah. You love this, don't you, Kurt?" I turn my head an sneer at him, sticking my tounge out at him.
"Harder." I groan. "Harder!" He continues to beat my bare ass and thighs, it starts to feel good. Yep, Kurt Cobain the Masochist. Twenty and my eyes roll back for a spilt second. Mmmm. Twenty-three and I can't do anything but moan. It's over before I know it. Dave looks at my backside, all red and welty. He looks guilty and hugs me.
"Oh, Baby-Doll I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you...." He whispers.
"You didn't! It felt kind of nice, actually." I say, pulling up my jeans. "I love you, even if you are a kinky weirdo." I kiss him on the cheek. I open the door only to catch Kris wanking to a black and white film of a young girl skinny-dipping. It's from one of the movies in the bag. I shut the door and laugh. I'm laughing so hard I can barely breath. Dave asks me why I'm laughing. I crack the door so Dave could have a peek. He just stares in shock.
"I knew it!" he gasps. We look at each other and laugh.
I finally got my present.
10:30 PM, we're doing a show. Dave causes a scene, I turn and stare at him.
He slips a diamond ring on my finger.
I say yes.