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I hated Axl. Which was odd cause I didn’t usually hate. Kurt Cobain isn’t supposed to hate. What a fucking laugh. But no, I didn’t hate him for the reasons people expected, homophobia, arrogance that bullshit attitude. Ha. Axl Rose a homophobe. Honestly. In actuality he’s quite the opposite. That’s right, Axl Rose is gay. A fucking fag. And that is why I hate him.

I’m not a homophobe in the least (obviously) but the fact that this jackass had to be gay really pissed me off. Why was I angry you might ask? Well, Axl had something I wanted.

A certain dark, curly-haired something. Yeah, that’s right, Axl Rose is gay and fucking his lead guitarist. Get the fuck over it. You would’ve suspected it if you had seen how they looked at each other. If you had seen the way Axl fumed when groupies (both male and female) were throwing themselves at Slash. Axl was always the jealous type.

I guess I would be too if I had possessed something that gorgeous. It’s just a shame that he’s with someone who treats him that badly.

True, Axl is possessive but that’s simply because of his ego. He doesn’t really love Slash and I’m positive that Slash knows it. They fuck a lot. I’ve heard them before, and let me tell you, Slash sounds delicious when he screams. I guess I should really thank Axl in the long run, for introducing us. It wasn’t formal of course; Axl wouldn’t want anyone near his precious Slash.

But yeah, I was fuming after exchanging words with Axl when Slash happened upon me punching the side of a trailer.

“You shouldn’t do that. It’ll fuck up your knuckles and your fans paid to see a good show.” He said, his top hat pulled down low over his eyes and a cigarette smoldering between his lips.

“Yeah well your fans paid to see a show too. A show, not some pussy ass redhead walk off stage.”

Slash shrugged and I marveled at how calm he was when he said, “Nobody ever said Axl was stable. The fans know that there’s a chance of him copping out. You, on the other hand are known for your dark, depressing, reliability.” He chuckled quietly.

Since I had no response to this unquestionably true statement I merely asked him “How in the hell do you deal with him? I mean only crazy people deal with that shit, and you seem pretty sane to me.”

He chuckled yet again and said with a bored simplicity, “Axl is like a child, he’s angrily predictable. I just anticipate his moods and adjust accordingly.”

“Your fucking him aren’t you?” I had said that with bluntness that surprised even me. But Slash merely looked me up at me with a sardonic smile and said. “Not that it’s any of your business but yes, I fuck him and he fucks me. We’re gay, not that you should care of course, being as your all accepting right?” He quirked an eyebrow at me.

“Yea, I don’t care if your boffing each other it makes no difference to me.” Slash just gave me one of his mysterious smiles and walked away.

Well, it does make a difference to me.

And there you have it, the real reason why I hate Axl Rose. I hate him because he possesses something that I will never have. A tall, dark, talented man who is smarter than people give him credit for and more originally genuine than I could ever be. Fuck you Axl Rose, fuck you.

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