Sweat started to gather inside the palm of my hand as we started setting our gear up onstage. I’d been up onstage a million times before, but this was my first time with Kurt and Krist. We still hadn’t assimilated a name for the band, so Kurt would probably just ramble something off. As we were practicing earlier in the week he had a list of potential band names, but most of them made a sound like a joke. Spin bifida? I mean come on! Even though I have only been exposed to Kurt for a few works, creativity beamed off of him. I enjoyed the intensity around him because it pushed me to be a better drummer.
“Yo Dave, you got all of your kit out of the van?” Kurt asked as I was knelt over setting up the kicks.
“Yeah, I think I might need that spare kick though.” I whipped my head to look at him, not realizing how close we were.
“Okay, I’ll get it.” He headed off to the van and I watched him leave. He didn’t hold himself like a confident front man but whenever he was behind that mic it all changed.
“Fuck!” I yelled, holding my finger. My inability to focus on the task at hand because of staring at Kurt caused me to smash my finger.
“Ya okay man?” Krist asked plugging in his amp.
“Yeah I’m fine.” I stuck my finger in my mouth to soften the throbbing pain as Kurt came back with the spare kick.
“Damn Dave, I’m gone for like two seconds and you fall apart.” He chuckled, kneeling next to me to examine my finger. “It looks fine, but next time pay attention.” He scolded, thumping me on the back. I flashed him a smile, feeling captivated by the man’s blue eyes. Dave! How could you let yourself think that? It defies logic; he’s a guy for Christ’s sake. I shook the thoughts from my head and carefully hooked up the kick. Luckily Kurt was not there to distract me, he was checking the microphone.
As soon as the equipment was set up we ran through a handful of songs. The acoustics were better in tonight’s club then the last place I had played in, but they weren’t top notch.
“Well at least the acoustics aren’t a total fail. Fucking sucks when you can’t hear yourself or when it feels like you’re playing air guitar.” Kurt commented as I grabbed a drink at the bar.
“Yeah I don’t really have to worry about that though, just being able to hear you guys.”
“It’s pretty hard to block out my wail.” Kurt reassured me with a slight laugh. “Guess we better get these drinks to go, almost time.” I saw a few attractive girls meet my gaze, but I kept my eyes on Kurt. The last of his hair dye seemed to be fading from his hair and when he stepped under the lights he appeared to be wearing a halo. I could feel my nerves kicking into full gear and I starting tapping out a rhythm on my legs.
“Don’t worry Dave it’ll be fine.” Kurt comforted me, obviously sensing my anxiety. “You’re amazing.” His rough, pale lips brushed against my cheek and I felt the stubble of his beard. I stood frozen for a moment, he took his place onstage. The kiss was on the cheek, a friendly place but he had delayed moving. Not too much of a delay, but just enough to spark excitement.
“Please welcome, NIRVANA!” I tried to forget the simple kiss as I banged on the drums, but when our performance ended and Kurt leapt into the drum kit an emotion stirred. Under the hot lights of the stage in Seattle, I realized something; something that probably wouldn’t have been felt if his lips had not lingered long enough to give me hope.

I, David Grohl, was in love with Kurt Cobain.