The room was quiet, no sound to get my mind to shut up. I tried watching TV, but the thoughts seemed to scream louder then. I tried playing guitar, but my fingers didn’t seem to favor that idea. The faint trickle of laughter seemed to filter down the hallway. I decided to poke my head out the door, maybe something would peak his interest. The quiet sound of Dave’s new accent grew louder; he was screeching about fruit and bread. I felt a chuckle arise in my throat.
“They don’t have ice like this in Holland.” I reached the doorway, but stood to the side so as not to be noticed. Soon, Krist and Dave were in an embrace, pouring wine down each others throats. My smile dimmed and laughter halted. I knew the play was just in jest, but I could feel fire inside me.
Seeing Krist and Dave together had hurt. Dave’s innocence was fading, even though I knew he and Krist weren’t involved. It was as though he was close to having what I wanted and I couldn’t take that.
Throughout the next days I gave the guys the silent treatment. Hardly answering any questions and retreating to my room straight after the shows. Every time I looked at the two of them I could see a spark; chemistry I had never noticed before. Krist approached me about an interview and there was the feeling.
“I’ll be there.” I grunted, trying to ignore the fact that Krist would probably come with Dave. I stumbled into the interview late, high on some cheap dope; which is why I sported sunglasses. Surprisingly, Dave and Krist had left a spot between them.
The interview trudged on with my few hits of sarcasm. The guys seemed a little gruff as we headed to the venue. I tried to ignore them, but since my high was wearing off my anxiety was returning. We played the show quickly; I sucked ass. I crashed onto my hotel bed hoping too find left over dope, when a knock came from the door. I grudgingly answered the door and there stood Dave; he was still shirtless from the show.
“I need to talk to you.” He let himself in but didn’t sit.
“Here to tell me about more shit I need to do.”
“Nah, I think we’re good for a few days.” He laughed a little, trying to lighten the mood.
“I know this will seem weird but Krist said—” I interrupted him with a sigh and eye roll.
“What has your fuckin’ panties in a twist over me and Krist?” The way he said me and Krist made the resentment tingle. I wanted that, what they had.
“When it started becoming a fucking you and Krist thing; it used to be all of us!” I argued, he laughed in my face.
“That’s funny. We always ask you to come out but you’d rather stay up here and get high. I’m not an idiot, Kurt. I know why you wear those glasses.” I was shocked; no one had confronted me about drugs in ages.
“Things are just different now.” I was retreating.
“How?” I love you and now seeing you with Krist makes my stomach burn worse.
“I’m just different.”
“Kurt, you have no idea. I’ve learned so much about myself in the past years.” He was trying to comfort me but it wasn’t working. All I could picture was him and Krist wrapped in a hug. “I just really need to tell you okay? Krist is totally fine with it and I—”
“Look if you and Krist are together that’s cool, just don’t dot hat shit around me.” Dave was surprised.
“Me and Krist?” He asked.
“Yeah, its cool.” No it’s not. I LOVE YOU! ME!
“No don’t worry. I don’t’ mind it, really.”
“Really.” I was getting angry. It already hurt enough to say it once and he was making me repeat it.
“Wow.” He looked away.
“What? I said—” His lips locked with mine and that rage was melted away. I pulled back, realizing the situation.
“Dude, you’re with Krist!” He laughed.
“No I’m not and I’ve been trying to tell you this but you wouldn’t listen. I want you.”
“Me?” I couldn’t believe it, this must be a dream.
“Yes you. Do I need to prove it or something?” There was that smirk and his hand on my thigh felt magnetic to my cock. I started to get aroused. “I’m good at proving things.”