Dave Grohl hated funerals. That was why he originally intended to not spend more time than necessary at the memorial service of Chris Cornell. He had spoken to Chris prsonally a few times in his life and had never heard anyone say a single bad thing about the man, so he obviously had been a good guy. Just that now Dave really wished he had spent more time with him. The funeral was basically over and Dave had already spoken to Chris' family a bit- the standard "I'm so sorry." talk that he had done too often in this life. As almost everyone else went to their cars to meet again at a restaurant in town, Dave came up with an excuse. He wasn't hungry and he definitly wasn't in the mood to spend a nice evening when he wasn't happy at all. "Gotta pick up Violet from school, you know." He said and even though it was way too late for any school to be over, nobody said anything. Walking over the graveyard in the direction of the exit on the other side he heard something- or better, someone. It sounded like muffled crying. Dave stopped walking. He let out a big sigh and looked around. If he was being honest, he really wasn't in the mood for comforting someone,especially because he himself was not only sad but also tired. Still, when he saw the person making the sounds, he couldn't just leave him there. It was a guy, probabaly around the same age as dave himself, with darkbrown shoulderlong hair. He was wearing a blue flanell shirt and black jeans. He didn't really look like someone attending a funeral. And he wasn't wearing a jacket either. Dave took a few steps torwards him: "Aren't you freezing?" The man didn't look up, hadn't he heard him? "Hey.." Dave tried again, now he had almost reached him. He quietly sat down next to him on the bench and now that he could get a better look at the man... his hair seemed familiar. Then he looked up and his red, puffy eyes met Daves. "Eddie" Dave managed to say, before Eddie started to cry again. This time he wasn't trying to hide it anymore,he was openly sobbing into Dave, who had pulled him into a hug.
"Hey, hey.." Dave tried to comfort him but he didn't really know what to do. Eddie didn't say anything for some time,then he choked out: "I hate him."
Dave closed his eyes : "No you don't, Eddie."
"Yes, I do."
It was silent for a bit, then Eddie whispered: "No, I don't. I just miss him."
Dave let his hands run over the other mans back, while his face was still buried in Daves jacket. Then it started to rain. "Seattle weather, huh?" Dave asked quietly, then he took of his jacket to wrap it around Eddie.
"You don't have to-"
"I don't want to hear anything like that." Dave interrupted him. He took a look at him then, the too big jacket making him seem even more small and.. helpless in a way.
Even though Dave felt horrible, he really just wanted to get home but he knew that of course he couldn't leave the other man here all alone.
Eddie stayed quiet. "Alright, just keep the jacket so you don't freeze to death. Did you drive here, because- well, doesn't matter anymore to be honest:I'll give you a ride home, and don't you try talking me out of it! You look like a mess right now.. okay, so follow me!" Dave stood up, then he started talking again while turning around to help Eddie up: "Oh, I forgot if i'm gonna drive you home I still need you to give me your adress, don't worry i'm not a psychopa-" he stopped.
Eddie was crying again, staring up at him with dark, sad eyes, silent tears rushing down his cheeks.
"Oh" was all Dave could say. He felt more than horrible now, this was a funeral. A fucking funeral. Eddie and Chris were close friends and he was making small talk at his fucking funeral because he had had a stressfull week and he wanted to get home. God, he was horrible.
"I'm so sorry,I don't know whats wrong with me today." He said, shaking his head in dissapointed and a bit of amusement. He sighed.
Eddie quickly shook his head,then whiped the tear stains on his face away. He let out a forced chuckle: "Not your fault man. If I were you I would have stopped going to funerals long ago."
"Sorry, what?Are you suggesting i'm some kind of funeral expert?" Dave couldn't help but feel a little bit attacked.
"I'm just saying..." Eddie started "..I understand you being awkward at funerals."
Dave stayed quiet and Eddie continued talking: "I mean all this talk about how young he was, what a waste it is,how everyone misses him- it must remind you of Kurt, right?" He had stopped crying now and was looking up at Dave in a mix of curiousity and empathy.
"How can you say that? They were nothing alike." Dave immediatly tensed up hearing Kurts name and felt like for the first time of this conversation he was actually listening. Eddie quickly nodded: "Of course. I'm sorry."
And silence. Dave let his eyes travel feom one gravestone to another, then he said something he never would have expected himself to say: "Kurt would hate me now."
Eddie frowned: "I don't think so, why would you say that?" His voice in a way sounded suspicious and Dave didn't like it. "I am being rude to you. He'd have been nicer." Eddie laughed and immediatly Dave had to look at him, "I think you're nice. Is that ride home still...-"
"Of course!Of course, man. Sorry" Dave felt himself blushing, goddamnit why was he being so weird today?
"For what are you apologiesing?" Eddie asked and Dave just shook his head: "For being me,I guess."
"Oh don't ever do that."
The rain still hadn't stopped so Dave finally held out his hand and helped Eddie up, his hand felt cold. "You're freezing."He noted but didn't get a reply. They were walking over the graveyard in the direction of the car and when they had almost reached it, Eddie stopped: "I know you were blaming yourself for what happend to Kurt."
Dave blinked: "I'm sorry?"
"You were blaming yourself. A lot of people do when stuff like this happens. But i didn't- I don't blame myself for what Chris did, I only blame him. I wish I would blame myself instead."
Dave sighed: "It's different. In my case, I saw him every day. I should have looked after him, you know. We were in the same band, you weren't. It's completely different."
Eddie's eyes were fixed on Dave and he came a step closer torwards him: "You're still blaming yourself." he whispered.
Dave rolled his eyes: "Well who cares. This is not Kurt's funeral after all. It's Chris'."
"It wasn't your fault,man."Eddie said "I promise you,it really wasn't. "
Dave felt more awkward than ever before in his life,why were they having this conversation? He wanted to get home but for some reason he didn't feel too bad with Eddie either. "Now come on." he said, motioning from Eddie to his car in front of them. They got inside and immeditaly Eddie apologiesed for getting the inside of his car all wet. Dave just laughed.
It wasn't a long ride. Eddie's home was near Dave's and pretty much on the way anyways. They didn't say a word while being in the car but it wasn't an uncomfortable silence. When Dave finally stopped to park his car at Eddie's house, after Eddie got out he did as well.
"Wanna come in?"
"Um, I'd love to but I have to get to family dinner."
"Oh sure,another time."
"Yes, another time."
Dave pulled Eddie in a hug and after that he asked "Are you going to be okay on your own, now?" because he felt like in a way Eddie was his responsibility at the moment.
He nodded and smiled lightly, what looked weird since his eyes were still teary and red. They were standing pretty close and just when Dave wanted to turn around and get back into his car, he had a weird moment where he noticed how beautiful the other man's eyes were. Eddie was also staring at Dave. A few second both of them didn't do anything. Then Eddie leaned just a tiny bit closer and Dave thought he had probably just imagined that.
"You and Kurt you were good friends, right?" Eddie asked and Dave wondered why it sounded like he was out of breath. He also wondered why he kept bringing up Kurt but did not to say anything to ruin the moment. "Right." he answered and decided to play along with whatever it was that they were doing: "And Chris and you? You were close too." Eddie whispered: "Yes." his eyes following Dave's.
Then Eddie raised his arm a bit and put in on Dave's shoulder before leaning even closer. What the hell is happening? Dave thought to himself but didn't move away. The exact moment that he realised that Eddie was about to kiss him, his phone rang. Immeditaly they both looked away, Eddie taking at lesst four big steps back, looking like he couldn't believe what had just happend. Dave found himself still staring at the other man's face- or better his lips. "Don't you wanna answer it?"Eddie asked,his voice not more than a whisper.
"It's not important. "
Eddie laughed: "You didn't even check who it is."
"Doesn't matter" Dave said, "Doesn't matter."
While talking, Eddie had moved away from Dave even further, now standing just outside the door of his house. He smiled at Dave: "Bye, then. Thanks for the ride."
Dave smiled back: "And thank you for the motivational speech or whatever that was."
Eddie let out a laugh: "Oh fuck off."
"I'm going to call you tomorrow to check on you alright? I know what losing a friend does to you." Dave explained and Eddie looked sad again for a second, when he mentioned Chris but then went back to a smile. He nodded.
Dave was already halfway in his car when he heard Eddie say something else: "I've got a problem with my phone. You might have to come over in person. But you don't have to. "
Dave looked at Eddie and said, his voice calm: "I don't mind. I'll come over then." and with that he got into the car and drove away. He did make it in time for family dinner and it was a nice evening even though he still didn't understand what happend today.