Tears welled in his eyes as his knuckles touched the door. What could he say? What could he do to make him feel better? Nothing, nothing at all. He knew this much to be true, but something in the back if his head yelled at him to try.
Eddie lifted his hand, knocking twice on the wooden door. No answer. He looked up and down the street, empty. It was odd for it to be this deserted. He took another look down the street, where could everyone be? The last time he tried knocking, Eddie was met with someone yanking the door open.
That’s when he came face - to - face with a unkempt Chris Cornell. It wasn’t unusual to find him in a state like this, but it was off putting how miserable he appeared. His face was puffy, he looked like he had been crying.
“Eddie - Oh, uh, I didn’t expect you to come by,” Chris mumbled, trying his best to compose himself.
“Did Courtney call?”
“Why are you here?”
“Did she? Answer the question.”
He threw his hands up, his face trailing off, “What’s- Yeah, she did. I’m guessing that what you came to do?”
“It is. She told me and my first thought was you. Cobain and you were close.”
Chris laughed, “Not as close as you two - could’ve been boyfriends.”
“Kurt liked you better and he wouldn’t have gone for either of us. He had Dave and… and Courtney, if she counts.”
“She might,” He said, “Want to come in?”
“I was going to invite myself in, anyways,” Eddie shrugged, stepping inside, “Thanks for the offer.”
Chris shut the door, “How are you handling it?”
“Hasn’t sunk in, first priority was making sure you were okay - or you knew.”
“Why me?” Chris asked, “What about Dave? Krist?”
“You’re my best friend. He was yours.”
“Not quite. He didn’t send his comfort when Andrew passed, you were right there. You give yourself little credit.”
“I give what I think I deserve.”
“Well, I think you should think you deserve more.”
“Thanks,” Eddie looked up, seeing Chris’ eyes filled with tears, “What’s wrong?”
He moved to wipe away his tears, “I miss both of them.”
“Kurt and Andrew?”
“Yeah, them. Why’d they have to go?”
“I’ll always be here, you can count on that. Promise me you won’t leave?”
“Promise.”
***
Eddie Vedder slowly made his way up the hill, his stomach doing flips. The last time he’d visited Chris he couldn’t bring himself to do it, he knew he wasn’t coming back. He just wanted to pretend he was there, filling the gaping hole in his chest.
He stared at the stone slab, Chris wouldn’t like to see himself like this, he wouldn’t want Eddie to remember him like this.
“You promised.” Eddie looked down at the grave, “You fucking promised me and-”
His voice broke and he kneeled, “And you’re gone. Just like Andrew, just like Kurt, just like Layne.”
Everything seemed to be silenced, all eyes on the grunge frontman mourning. “I’m the last one,” He said, “Last one of us, you’d always said you’d beat me. Hah…”
He fingers stayed on the edge of the grave, it was the only thing that kept him grounded. Eddie was still choked up, it was too much.
“I’m sorry, Chris. I can’t stay here.” He got up and started walking away, knowing it’d just be another cycle soon enough.
Eddie would always come back to Chris, even if he unable to do the same.