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Say something! say anything, please.

Kurt didn't come out for dinner, he either was too busy playing guitar or was still very mad at me, maybe it was a bit of both. I was hungry, I hadn't eaten much since the orphanage, but I didn't want to seem desperate or extremely hungry,I didn't want them to know. So instead of scarfing down dinner I made myself eat the food slowly, one bite at a time. i didn't look like I was starving and I wouldn't throw up from eating too fast, I was proud. After an hour or so Kurt came into the main room, he had all four Ramones sign his book. he didn't speak to me but he did look at me, he tried to glare but his face broke into a look of heartbreak and longing, so looked away while on the verge of tears. Joey sensed this because he quickly made an excuse to have us separated,

" so Krist, do you want me to show you how to play an instrument? Like the drums, or the bass...?"

" ha! I could play the bass, if you let me see one I could play it easily. It's a science, it would be easy to figure out. I'd love too!!" I jumped up and walked to the back room with Joey, he handed me a bass, I looked it over, I plucked a string,it made an unattractive 'thump' sound.

" huh, how do you tick?" I said to no one but the bass guitar, with the way my mind works nothing else existed but the guitar and I. I thought back to any song I listened too ever, the bass had a sertain part to play with perfectly timed notes, I did a math equation in my head, then I played every note on all four strings so I knew how they sounded. I did another equation, all I had to do was pluck the right note at the right moment, easy. So I started playing all my favorite rock songs it was a little difficult at first but after the second song I had it perfectly. It was a science, I heard Joey curse and I looked up, remembering he was there.

" oh, sorry Joey, I forgot you were there, well you just got an insite to my brain."

" oi! bloody 'ell!! You are a genius!!! you had that for 10 minutes and you play better than ours!! How did you do it?"

" Uh, it's not that big a deal, you just play the note on the right second, this is how I figure stuff out." I said slightly embarrassed, I forget Not everyone's brain works like mine.

"you got any band plans?!"

" actually, yes. Well, if Kurt forgives me I do."

" he had better because your skill is needed!" He was still very shocked. I felt a bit sad because I think he saw me differently now, I'm not sure how differently though.

" thanks Joey." I suddenly felt drained and like the position of the rockstar had changed to me, I didn't like it. I got up before he could ask me anything,

" im going to my room now, thank you so very much Joey" I got into the room and shut the door, then I took off my shirt and started doing push ups. I am a healthy person but I'm not what you would call 'fit' I don't have extreme muscles, but I exercise. I do push ups when I'm angry or need to let off steam, this was going to be one of those times probably. I lost count after 127, my thoughts kept getting in the way of counting. In fact I did not even notice when kurt came in. I did however, hear him lie down on the bed. I jumped up, he was laying there with his arms crossed staring at the ceilling. I sighed and sat down on my side of the bed.

" Kurt." I said. He grabbed puff out of his pocket and rolled away from me so his back was facing me.

" Puff and I don't want to talk to you." He sounded angry and hurt. I bit my lip because this was my fault And I felt that guilt thing again.

" O-okay k-Kurt. J-just listen then. I-I have a story to tell you." Gosh I hated myself right now! I couldn't even talk clearly, I never had a problem with feelings and now it's like everything is catching up. Kurt turned to me interested.

" im not interested, but puff wants to know if the story is true." this meant I had his full attention. I took a deep breath. This would be hard to tell him but I had too.

" Yes Kurt, it's true. There was a boy named Krist, and he was very smart, smarter than most adults even. He never knew his parents but he grew up in this horrible orphanage, and because he was so smart he thought up a plan to get out of the place. And he planned for a long time, then one day another little boy came along named Kurt, he and Krist became friends best friends, Krist protected Kurt. Krist had always been more about thinking than other stuff because it was easier to understand, but he had some feelings. Until one day when Krist was 13 he got in trouble and had to go to the orphanage director's office, he went there and the director had been drinking, and-and he did h-horrible things to young Krist, and -and told him if he ever told he would do it again, but also to his best friend kurt. ever since that day Krist has not been able to handle opening up to people, or-or have feelings. Planning the escape has become his life he had to protect Kurt and Dave. Kurt told krist that he liked Krist, and Krist loved kurt, and he still does. He just doesnt know how to handle it very well because he can't explain what he is feeling inside much. Krist and kurt kissed and Krist made a mistake, and wants to tell Kurt he is sorry and loves him very much. And uh Kurt, I want to work on us being a couple if that's what you want. I love you, I do. I just need you to be a bit patient with me please. Also do you think the age difference between us is awkward? It's only 2 years." I caught my breath waiting or him to say something, I tried really hard not to cry when I told him what happened with the director, i really didn't want him to know but I had to tell him. I looked at Kurt and he had tears in his eyes.

" Kurt, don't cry, it's okay come here." kurt came over and sat in my lap, he hugged me tightly.

" Krist, I forgive you. I -thought you didn't care about me that way. I'm sorry you got hurt, I wish it didn't still hurt you inside your soul like it does. but on a happy note, are you asking me to be your boyfriend? I will try this 'boyfriend' stuff with you:) can I tell you that you are my hero?" He smiled up at me, I hugged him just a little bit tighter.

" Kurt, it's okay I don't like to talk about it because it happened long ago, but it bothers me so I don't talk about it. And yes, I'm asking you to be my boyfriend, but I want you to know I will try my hardest to be a good boyfriend but im new to this love stuff." I blushed, I was excited but nervous.

"Krist you are my best friend."

" You are mine too Kurt. Tomorrow we are going to call Dave. Okay?"

" sure thing," then we laid down and went to sleep cuddled in each other's arms.

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