I sit.

In my hands, under my arm I hold a small messager bag. On it, NIRVANA is bunred on with they infamous smiling, mishapened face.

His face is dead. But he smiles?

Is this how Kurt Cobain had looked like when he died?

Was he smiling and sticking his tongue out to the human race? Who hates and prejudged him? To the ones who mistreated him and tortured him?

Maybe. We'll never know for sure. Well... at least I will.



I sit down. In my basement. It's somewhat heated. But still cooler than the upstairs.

I place my bag on the ground and start pulling things out. A list is what I'll give you.

~chalk

~Nirvana CD

~black candles

~An ouija board.

Yes.

I am making an attemp to talk to Kurt Cobain.

Just for once. Hear his voice. See him possibly. Tell him how much he means to me.



Okay. Let's get started.

I draw a wide 5-pointed star. It's beautiful.

I light the candles, one by one, and place them on each point of the star.

They shine so beautifully. Just like Kurt.

I place the CD off to the side and pull out my Ouija board.



I sit in the middle. The board in front of me.

So many letters and numbers.

I move it to make word.

W-H-E-R-E _I-S_K-U-R-T_C-O-B-A-I-N_?

I move my hands away. It doesn't move.

I touch it again.

C-A-N_I_T-A-L-K_T-O_H-I-M_?

I don't touch it. But it moves. Actually. It twitches.

Slightly. But it's still there.

Then, it starts moving to the letters. I write them down.

I-'-M_R-I-G-H-T_H-E-R-E_.



I let out a tear and cover my mouth.

Could this really be happening?

Am I really talk to Kurt Cobain?

I move the thing again. Spelling more words.

I-S_T-H-I-S_R-E-A-L-L-Y_K-U-R-T_C-O-B-A-I-N_?

I leave it and wipe my tears away.



Then. It moves.

Y-E-S_.

This is a joke. I can't really talk to him

I write more.

I-F_Y-O-U-'-R-E_R-E-AL-L-Y_K-U-R-T_S-H-O-W_M-E_A_S-I-G-H_.

I leave it.



I feel a wind come. Wind? In my basement?

The candles go out. Then right light themselves.

The board moves.

I-T-'-S_B-E-T-T-E-R_T-O_B-U-R-N_O-U-T_T-H-A-N_T-O_F-A-D-E_A-W-A-Y_. R-I-G-H-T_?



I cry. I pull my head down and cry. My mouth is covered by my hand out of pure amazement.

I cry hard. But then I feel warmth consume my body. I look up.

It's nothing. But I could have sworn I felt something on me!



The board moves again.

I-'-M_G-L-A-D_S-O-M-E-O-N-E_R-E-M-E-M-B-E-R-S_M-E_.

I let out a smile

Then I write to him.

I_W-I-L-L_A-L-W-A-Y-S_R-E-M-E-M-B-E-R_Y-O-U_.

Y-O-U_A-R-E_M-Y_F-U-C-K-I-N-G_H-E-R-O_.

I smile again. He probably likes the curse word.



I was right. But this time, he didn't tell me in a message.

He spoke.



A wind came and I could hear something.

'Don't ever forget. It's better to burn out. Just like me and you're candles.'

I look at the candles. They weren't moving! But this wind would have made them move! Incredible.



Then is stops. I feel warm again. I speak. "Kurt. Thank you. I will never fade away." I feel such great warmth. But not hot. Just, comfortable.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



No one believe I talked to Kurt Cobain. But you know. I don't care.

I know I did. And so did Kurt. And whereever he may be. Either Heaven or Hell.

I know he's happy.

Cause today he found his friend.

And I found mine.