"Kurt!" Dave called out, and knocked on the door of the apartment Kurt and Jeremy shared. "Kurt, I know you don't like me, and that you don't want to see me, but please, there's something real important I need to say. Just one last thing Kurt, I need to tell you, and then I'll leave you alone, I promise. Just... just one more thing. For my own sake." I don't want to be here anymore.
I think I understand now, how someone could possibly dream of ending their own life. I understand. It's when someone has absolutely nothing to give, or to gain from living on. It's when someone has no will to continue.
Someone like Kurt.
Someone like me.
He knocked hard, but there was no answer, and he eventually wondered if the blonde was even at home. Maybe he's ignoring me... And Dave was really hoping Kurt was home, so that he would get the chance to talk to him and clear the waters, before walking up to the balcony and jumping over the side. He wanted Kurt's voice to be the last he ever heard. That perfect, special voice. The man Dave loved; denial was pointless now. He was in love.
A deep part of his mind whispered that he could not love Kurt, that he was obliged to feel love for another, his true mate, the ones he left behind. The love of three. A family. But he couldn't even remember their names, and found he didn't mind. His life was now a shadow, and soon, the Afterlife would be, too.
He wondered if it would hurt. He wondered if he would simply fall forever.
Then he realized he didn't really care one way or another, and knocked again. "Please, hey. It's urgent! It'll only take a few moments, and then I'll-" die. "-leave. C'mon, Kurt. Are you there? Are, are you fucking ignoring me, man?" Desperation was building and he hit the door, hard, before delivering a swift kick to its wooden surface in frustration. He cried out lowly when his foot snarled, and decided violence against an inanimate object was not the smartest way to handle the situation. So lastly, he half heartedly tried jiggling the door handle.
To his surprise, it was unlocked, and the handle shifted smoothly in his hand. Biting at his lower lip, he pushed the door open and crept silently into the apartment. Looking around. Searching. Trying to observe everything at once.
This doesn't seem right at all. Something is the matter, here. Maybe I shouldn't be here.
No. I should.
"Kurt," he murmured with some trepidation, and was afraid to raise his voice any louder. "Kurt, are you here?" The whole apartment stunk of wrong, was drenched in a disquieting sense of ill intent. He pricked his ears, and heard a noise from one of the distant corners of the apartment, behind a number of closed doors. He frowned and cringed at the same time, the noise thoroughly unsettling him.
"Hello?" And he headed off in that direction.
Kurt was livid. "You fucking bastard!" He was battered and bruised, crouching in a pool of his own blood and the larger man's semen. He had been violated and was ashamed for it, but also angry enough to kill. His apathy was gone now. Being raped can do that to you. "You, you bastard! You fuck! You r-raped me." Jeremy laughed, and the sound rang painfully in Kurt's ears, only feeding his rage. His eyes fell to the acoustic guitar Dave had given him. He rolled, and made a half-hearted reach for it, meaning to use it as a weapon, but found he was unable to destroy the pretty, shiny instrument in such an ugly way. It meant far too much to him.
Jeremy, on the other hand, was easily able to snatch the instrument away, and he held it at arm's length like a club. His eyes shone bright with accumulating insanity. He was completely gone. Unhinged.
"Dave gave this to you, huh?" And even his voice was raw and unbalanced. "That fucker. Well, this is what I think of stupid, whoring fuckers! This is what I think of the both of you!" He raised the guitar up over his head and brought it down towards the floor with an incredible force, smashing the body to pieces with a grotesque, faintly musical sound. Kurt winced as he was showered with shards and splinters of pristine polished wood.
"Fuck!" Kurt cried out with agony. "You fuck!"
"Fucking piece of trash!" Jeremy brandished the neck of the guitar, which was all that was left of the delicate instrument. "That's all you are, Kurt! You're trash, fucking trash is all you are!" He moved towards Kurt, but the young blonde was filled with poison, burning rage, which made it impossible for him to flinch or turn away.
"No, you're the trash!" Kurt screamed as Jeremy towered over him. "You're a foul, miserable fuck and I hope when Iris takes you, I hope you fucking rot in Hell. I hope it hurts you, like you've never been fucking hurt before. I hope they rape you! I hope you die! I hate you, you sadistic fucking waste of sperm and eggs! I fucking hate you, I-" And he never had the chance to dodge the blow.
With a furious, animal howl, Jeremy brought the neck of the broken guitar down onto Kurt's head.
With a crack, it splintered into two pieces.
An unconscious Kurt crumpled to the floor.
"Fuck!" Dave heard the screams of terror, of fury, and of pain, and tore into the room, almost knocking the door off its hinges in the process. "Oh, oh God, Kurt!" He skidded to a shuddering standstill when he saw what was going on.
Jeremy was standing at the balcony, peering over the railing at the oblivion below. There was a shriveled bundle of something hanging limply in his arms, dangling, bleeding.
Dave took a closer look. The bundle was Kurt.
"Dave!" Jeremy cried, and grinned in his triumph. He held Kurt's body possessively to his chest. "How nice of you to stop by! You've caught Kurt and I in the middle of an, erm, domestic dispute, I'm afraid." His eyes twinkled with insane good cheer.
"Don't you hurt him!" Dave's face was white with fear, and alight with rage. "Don't, don't you dare hurt him, Jeremy!"
"Have you heard the news, Dave?" His voice crackled with spiteful glee. "Because of you and Kurt fucking whoring around all the time, me and him are gonna die! Even after I fucking told him not to see you anymore, told him what would happen, our tattoos still fucking faded, and soon, we're gonna fade, too!"
Dave was shocked.
You told him to do that?
Does that mean he wanted to spend time with me, after all?
"Please, Jeremy. Don't hurt him. Don't."
He ignored his pleas. "You killed me, Dave! You and your precious Kurt have fucking killed me! You've taken away my everything! So now, I'm taking away yours." He grinned. "Do you want to know what I did? I just raped your precious Kurt into the ground, I raped him senseless, and he screamed and screamed and begged me to stop but I just. Kept. On. GOING!" He screamed the last word at the top of his lungs. "I fucking split him into fucking pieces!"
Dave's world went red.
"Bastard!" He roared, now spying the blood running down Kurt's thighs. It made him feel sick. "Oh God, you sadistic bastard! You fucking son of a bitch! How, h-how could you?!" Dave went to charge at him, but then Jeremy held Kurt up closer to the balcony edge, and Dave was reminded of the fragile existence he held in his arms.
"Don't come any closer," he muttered darkly. "Or I'll drop him over the edge." Dave moaned, and felt his heart begin to beat faster. He was panicking.
"N-no," he pleaded, desperate. "Please, Jesus, Jeremy. Don't do it. God, K-kurt..."
"He killed me. You both did. Now, I'm going to destroy him. I'm going to make you both pay."
Cold terror seized Dave; icy, painful dread. "N-no... don't..."
"NO!" Dave screamed, and lurched forwards to stop him. But it was too late.
Jeremy threw Kurt over the balcony railing, and Dave screamed again as he dropped like a stone.
"Kurt!" Dave didn't think about it, he didn't even hesitate.
He sprinted to the balcony edge and dove over the railing.
Dove straight after Kurt.
The drummer watched his front man sleep, playing idly with a lock of his coarse, blonde hair, and eyed the wedding band encircling his finger with violent distaste.
He hated Kurt's wife.
He hated Courtney.
But then again, it seemed as though almost everybody hated her. Well, everybody save Kurt, of course. And sometimes, Dave wondered if deep down there wasn't some part of Kurt that actually resented his wife, for intentionally getting him pregnant to draw him in, and threatening to abort the baby if he didn't agree to marry her right away. She'd trapped Kurt, they all saw it.
And the scary part was, Kurt didn't seem to mind.
Dave realized, as he sat and watched Kurt sleep and thought about how he was a husband and a father to be, that Kurt was in dire need of protection, and that Courtney would never be able to offer him that. He realized that he could very well be the one who had to protect his fragile friend.
"I'll do it," he murmured with resolve, and Kurt shifted and muttered something unrecognizable in his sleep. ""I'll protect you forever, from everything. I'll even protect you from HER, if need be." His gaze turned tender and he stroked Kurt's hair. He felt closer to him than he ever had before. "I'll protect you from everything that ever tries to hurt you, I promise."
"David," he muttered in his sleep, and Dave couldn't help but smile.
"I'll save you Kurt. I'll save-"
He cried out against the stinging cold wind as he plummeted further and further down, and through his snarling, watering eyes, he could barely make out the dark blur against the sky, that was Kurt.
I'm never going to reach him. Not in time.
He began to cry in his despair, trying desperately but ultimately in vain to fall faster, to reach Kurt. "Kurt!" He screamed again, fearfully, but his voice was ripped away by the raging wind. He couldn't think. He could barely breathe. I have to reach him. I can't let him slip away from me. Not again.
"KURT!" Filled with fear and frustration. Tears crystallizing on his cheeks from the bitter, freezing cold. Dave stretched his body, striving to quicken himself, to reduce the drag of wind slowing him down. The cold was biting into his skin, passing through him to penetrate his heart. "Kurt, I need to reach you. I have to fucking reach you!"
It might have been his hopeful imagination, but it seemed as though Kurt's falling, unconscious figure was a little closer than it had been before. He was plummeting headfirst, his blonde hair streaming out behind him like a banner.
Dave's own hair whipped against his face, and was painful. He tried to brush it away, but the force of his fall had pinned his arms to his sides. He squinted against the searing cold.
He could make out the blood on Kurt's face.
His eyes were still closed.
"Dammit..." Dave's voice failed him, then. They fell closer and closer towards the end, the sky fading from blue to violet and finally, to pitch black. But then, it wasn't really sky anymore. It was something else, entirely.
He saw white spots appear before his eyes, burst, and then begin to multiply. He couldn't breathe. His lungs were frozen.
Kurt. But he refused to give in. As he fell further and further away from survival, he refused to give in.
Failure wasn't an option.
Dave gazed into the eyes of his first wife, and he knew what that look meant. It meant their relationship was over.
"I want a divorce," Jennifer said flatly, and Dave found this blunt statement caused him no pain, and was surprised by it.
"We never got around to having kids, so there's no custody battle or anything, we have to fuck over. No matters like that to concern ourselves with."
"I'm leaving, tonight."
"Best of luck to you, then."
Jennifer arched one carefully plucked eyebrow. "You don't seem to be particularly upset by all this." Dave shrugged his shoulders, all but dismissing her entirely.
"Truthfully," he responded. "I'm not. I don't really care. And I'm as surprised by it as you are."
Jennifer grunted, unimpressed. "I'm not surprised. You never care about anything, anymore. You haven't even tired to make any sort of commitment to this relationship, to this marriage, well, since..."
"Since what?" Dave challenged her, the old frustration seeping in. "Since what, Jennifer? What exactly are you trying to say here? Since fucking what?"
Jennifer refused to look him in the eyes. "Since Kurt died."
Dave flinched automatically at the mention of his dead friend. Even after three years, it still hurt so bad. So fucking bad. "That's..." He had to pause, winded by hurt and betrayal. "That's low, Jen. That's really, really low."
"It's the truth." She refused to be sympathetic this time. "I need a real relationship, David. I want children. I can't play nursemaid to you anymore."
He clenched his teeth. "I told you. I'm not ready for children."
"What are you afraid of?" she spat, spiteful. "Do you think they'll grow up to be drug addicts? Do you think they'll be suicidal fuckheads? What? What's your problem?"
"You, you bitch!" Dave gasped, grasping for words through hurt. "How d-dare you even... even talk about him in that way, you, you..."
Jennifer flared up. "That's all you ever want to talk about, Kurt this and Kurt that! Kurt's dead, Dave! He's gone, and I'm still here! It's time to let him go."
"Shut up! Bitch! Just fucking shut up!"
"It's like you love him more than me! Do you?! Huh? Did you fuck him? Was he better than me, is that it?! You bastard, you fucking shit!"
"You'll never understand! You'll never understand! You-"
Dave's heart leaped, and he cried out in relief as his fingers finally brushed against Kurt's limp shoulders, and he brought their bodies together. "K-kurt!" He held the unconscious man against him, the wind whistling past his ears but he was uncaring to that, now. "Oh, Kurt! Kurt, wake up, please, wake up." His voice was washing away, and he pressed his lips right up to Kurt's cold ear, hoping he would be heard. "Kurt. Wake up." They began to spiral, and Dave felt dizzy and sick.
The world was blurring around the edges, and all the color was gone.
"Kurt." He finally closed his stinging eyes, and his grip on his lover tightened. "Kurt... I love you. Wake up. Just, just wake up, and save us both. We'll both die, if you don't wake up. Kurt? Kurt..." He nuzzled the blonde's ear, and kissed it. So cold. But not dead. Not yet. "I love your beautiful soul. Please, wake up. For me." Then he took the soft flesh of his earlobe between his teeth.
And bit down.
Kurt jolted. "D-dave?" he groaned, and Dave's eyes immediately snapped open when he heard his name uttered. "Dave?"
"Oh God, Kurt. Thank God."
"Where... are we? I'm... dizzy."
"We're falling, Kurt. You need to save us."
"It hurts, so much, Dave. I... I don't know if, if I can..."
"You can, Kurt. I believe in you."
"I... oh, Dave. Dave. I'm s-sorry." Lips found lips and they kissed, and then they were gradually slowing, stopping their descent, and began to rise upwards. They soared; Dave's heart soared along with them. Kurt's body was weak but his wings were still strong, they stretched and beat at the air with powerful force. His arms went around Dave's neck, and clung to him desperately.
"Kurt," he murmured into the blonde's neck. "Jesus fuck, Kurt. I was s-so fucking afraid, that, that you weren't going to wake up, that you were, that you might be-"
"I'm alright." Kurt's voice was tired but very, very gentle. "I'll be okay."
"The fucker. He hurt you. I'm sorry."
"It's alright. Please, Dave. My Dave. I'm the one that should be sorry. I'm sorry for turning you away. I, I just didn't want you to fucking get h-hurt. I, I didn't want for us... to get too fucking close. I didn't want you to f-fade away..." Dave sighed into his throat, his breath was warm. As was his kiss.
"I think it's a little late for that now. Honestly. I could never leave you. I love you too fucking much to ever do that. I love you, more than fucking anything. And I'll never let you go."
"Dave..." They kissed again and the kiss was deep, and they broke through the darkness, flying upwards to alight delicately back on the balcony.
Dave refused to look at the puddles of blood and semen on the floor, focusing instead on cleaning the drying blood softly from Kurt's face. He let his lips brush over pale skin as he cleaned it. Kurt moaned quietly and his knees went to buckle, but Dave was there, ready to catch him, and hold him tight. "Are you alright?"
"Hurts." Kurt swooned under the combined pain of the gash on his head and his violated insides. "Hurts. What, that b-bastard... did to me."
"Ssh." Even through his pain the blonde managed a small smile, and he wiped the tears from Dave's face. "Don't cry, it's okay. You saved me. You saved me." Kurt's wings folded around Dave's torso, and cloaked him in soft warmth. The embrace was comforting. Soothing. Dave felt himself melting away. "Never let me go," he whispered, and it made Dave's heart sing.
"Kurt. Listen. There's something I have to tell you. It's about us."
"It's okay. Siri already told me."
Dave's eyes widened. "She did?"
"Yeah." He smiled faintly, and it was a wonderful smile. "We used to know each other, didn't we?" The other man nodded. There were new tears forming in his eyes.
"That's right, yes. We did." He thumbed Kurt's hair gently. "But do, do you remember?"
"Not a damned thing. But Dave, there's something you should know-"
He was cut off suddenly, as Jeremy charged into the room.
Kurt shrank back as Jeremy approached, his insides roaring as they remembered the outrage of their violation. Dave growled at the oncoming man and shielded Kurt protectively, but they both dropped their guard when they say the look on Jeremy's face.
He was as pale as death, and his eyes were wide and dark and hollow. Filled with black shock. Kurt suddenly buckled again and Dave held him tight, all three of them crying out in shock and pain as every light bulb in the apartment simultaneously shattered. They were plunged into a cold, heavy gloom; suddenly it was freezing.
Jeremy turned to the other two fearfully, and a sinister darkness covered him. Kurt could smell it; the rotting, awful void that made his insides ache, and he knew what was coming before Jeremy even said it. "It's Her," he groaned, trembling, and stumbled forwards.
"Fuck!" Kurt exclaimed, clutching at Dave."It's Her! It's Iris! She's come, oh fuck, f-for me and Jeremy!"
"No!" Dave did his best to protect him from the formless enemy as the air chilled even further, and then the door was broken from its hinges and fell to the floor with a loud bang. So terrified, they were beyond even crying out, now.
A dark, clouded figure, surprisingly petite, flowed like ice water into the room, and lowered Her hood. Her gaze found Dave's for a brief moment and their eyes locked, and he gasped as the full meaning of Iris finally hit him. That familiar face. That familiar face. He felt as though his mind had just been raped.
They're complete opposites.
They're exactly the same.
Iris pushed Her hood all the way back, freeing Her long hair, and turned Her milky pale face left then right, honing in on Jeremy. He cowered fearfully under her frosty, penetrating brown gaze, and Dave felt all the evil in the universe condense and begin to crush his heart. It terrified him, his mind still reeling from his new discovery. She can't be... no. This can't be Siri. And in his heart he knew it to be true; the two may have looked identical, but he saw none of Siri's kindness and compassion in Iris's ruthless glare. They were separate beings, he was sure of it. Or, two halves of the same being. Soul mates.
Dave pressed himself against Kurt and whimpered, but the blonde had temporarily forgotten about him. He was fixated with horror on Jeremy, and the young girl advancing towards him.
"No!" Jeremy wailed, struggling to escape but with nowhere to run or hide. "Please, d-don't take me! No! It's n-not my time, it can't be, it can't be! P-please, no!"
Iris was relentless.
"Please! Have mercy! It's not my fault!" Quick like silent lightning, Iris raised Her arm, and Dave saw what She carried, brandished in one hand. Rotting stench filled the air as She exposed Her weapon. Jeremy saw it and his eyes grew wide. Kurt saw it, and he screamed.
"Kurt!" Dave held back the smaller man, whimpering in fear and pain. His bones were being crushed by an onslaught of metal, and the blazing horn of a truck. His insides were seeping out. His blood was everywhere. He was dead. He was dead.
Jeremy was dead too, and as Iris raised Her knife for the killing blow, they all knew it to be true.
"Have mercy! It's his fault, not mine! Kill him, have mercy on me, please! I-" Iris brought down the knife, and buried it deep in the place where Jeremy's heart had once beat.
He screamed once, jerking, and then was still.