Kurt closed his eyes tightly, as his head slammed against the wall. He let out a low moan of pain, gritted his teeth and saw a white flash behind his eyes as his head smashed into the wall for the second time. He collapsed to the floor, spitting blood and heaving to get his breath back. He clutched his stomach, his head was pounding and throbbing and his vision was temporarily blurred.
He felt faint and sick, the room around him was swirling, merging into objects and walls. He felt dizzy as the ceiling began to spin against the doorframe. He closed his eyes, feeling shaky and exhausted. For the second night in a row, Krist had thrown him around the room and for the second night in a row, Kurt had tried to find out what was wrong.
“I won’t stop,” he muttered, his voice barely audible. “I won’t stop until I know what’s wrong with you.” Kurt tried to keep upright as he slumped against the wall, his eyes regaining their focus, but his head throbbing harder.
“Shut up.” Krist replied, turning away and going to the door. “Get the fucking message Kurt: Leave me the fuck alone.”
Dave grinned at the cameras and happily signed posters, books, and magazines – whatever the fans had bought. He was passing through hotels – Krist had asked to meet at a different one to where they were staying. At first, Dave was confused as to why they had to meet elsewhere. It was hardly conventional. He decided not to question it, however, until he actually arrived.
He graciously signed a few more items before saying his goodbyes and hurrying inside. The receptionist told him which room Krist was in and Dave made his way to the second floor. He knocked the door, suddenly feeling nervous, but unsure why he felt this way. It was only Krist. His friend and band mate, Krist. The door opened but Krist was already turning away. Dave walked in cautiously, closing the door behind him.
“Sit down,” Krist said, coldly.
Dave frowned, making a face and remained standing. “I’m fine, thanks for asking,” he replied with slight agitation.
Krist turned. “Sit down.” He said again, but this time, threat tainted his voice.
Dave raised an eyebrow. “You asked me to come here, Krist. I’m not your lapdog. Why the fuck did we meet here? What is all this about?” Dave folded his arms.
Krist didn’t speak for a few moments, until suddenly – as if from no-where – Krist had lunged at Dave and punched him hard around the face. “I said sit down!” He screamed, his voice so loud and forceful, Dave actually felt real fear.
Krist was so tall and intimidating – but his face, the way his eyes had flashed, the way he had suddenly changed, it was terrifying. Krist wasn’t like this.
He was the kind one, the gentle one – even to the point of being called a ‘gentle giant’ by one magazine reviewer. Kurt and Dave had agreed before, but Dave felt fear now, at the hands of Krist who had changed so quickly from the man they knew and loved, so someone so completely different.
Dave felt the warm skim of blood coming from his nose, his lip was throbbing and his cheek hurt. “What the hell?” He cried out, trying to sit up.
Krist loomed over, tightly holding Dave’s shoulders. “I asked you to sit down, David!” Krist bellowed. “So get up and then sit on the fucking chair!”
Dave was in two minds to obey, but as he shifted slightly, raising his hand to his face to wipe away the blood, Krist’s face softened. Dave felt confused, watching Krist’s eyes turn to concern.
He knelt down. “David… Oh, oh, David, I’m so sorry.” He reached out and Dave flinched, but Krist ran his hand gently over Dave’s face, he moved closer still until Dave could feel Krist’s breath on his face. “Let me make you better,” Krist continued. “Let me make you better, Dave.”
Dave frowned, disgusted, confused and frightened all at once. He pulled away, moved out from under Krist’s attentions and got to his feet. “What the fuck?!” he shouted, his shoulders heaving as anger began to rush through him.
“What the hell is this?” His fists clenched, his face began flush red, his neck was pulsing. Krist looked mournful almost, scared and worried.
He looked like he was about to beg. Dave narrowed his eyes. “I don’t know what the fuck your problem is, Krist. Right now, I couldn’t care less.” Dave turned and slammed the door behind him, running from the room, running from Krist.
He didn’t know what was going on, he didn’t know what was causing Krist to act the way he was, but he needed to clean himself up. And he needed to talk to Kurt.
Kurt carefully dabbed Dave’s cheek with a cotton-bud. He’d dipped it in antiseptic and was trying his best not to hurt Dave anymore than he was already. Dave eyed him slightly and grinned. “I though you were supposed to be cleaning it,” he said.
Kurt frowned. “I am,” he muttered. Dave smiled. “With a fucking cigarette in your mouth at the same time?” Kurt smiled, with the white stick balancing perfectly between his lips and the steady stream of smoke diffused from the end and filtered upwards. “Mind if I have a drag?” Dave asked, wincing a little.
Kurt took it from his mouth and handed it to Dave. “Finish it,” he said, softly, rinsing the cotton-bud in warm water. “You need it more than me,”
Dave drew in hard on the cigarette, feeling the course, textured, flavour wash over his tongue and down to the walls of his throat. He breathed the smoke out and sighed slightly.
“How’s your head now?” He asked, as Kurt dabbed the water on his cheek. Kurt didn’t answer for a few moments, until he had finished and he placed the slightly stained cotton-bud back in the dish of water, where it danced around, the blood trailing from it, tinting the surrounding water in a wash of orange-red.
“Not as bad as your lip.” He mentioned, sitting back on the bed a little. “What did he say to you before he hit you?” Kurt asked, lighting up another cigarette for himself.
“Nothing. We never got that far. I walked in the room and he told me to sit down. I didn’t and I ended up on the floor. But that’s not what concerns me the most, Kurt.”
Dave looked at Kurt carefully now; Dave knew full well that when he wanted to be, Kurt could be very violent himself. However, his height and weight was hardly a match for Krist.
“He suddenly seemed to realise what he’d done,” Dave said, “And then started… well, I don’t know how to explain it, but, he got close to me – told me he wanted to make me better.”
Kurt seemed to tense up a little, his whole body straightened and his eyes locked to the lighter in his hands. “Almost like he was going to -” Dave stopped when Kurt turned to him, nodding.
“Did he, did, did you let him?” Kurt asked, his voice suddenly seeming almost child-like. Dave shook his head, watching Kurt cautiously. “I got up before… I got away. Kurt, did you?” Dave asked, his heart racing now.
Kurt didn’t answer for a while, which was almost an answer in itself. He looked back down to his hands and didn’t speak or do anything for what seemed like ages. Finally he took a deep breath and looked back to Dave. “Almost,” he replied. “I couldn’t… I didn’t go through with it.”
Dave sat back and shook his head. “Do you think he does this to the girls he goes out with?” Kurt didn’t answer and stood up, going to the window, where a balcony saw views over the city.
He opened the doors and went outside. Dave followed, unsure of Kurt’s reaction. The air was cool and refreshing. The sounds of the buzz and hum of the city below and around conflicted with the lights as night began to fall.
“Kurt?” Dave asked, softly, standing a little behind.
“He tried to,” Kurt said very softly. “But I don’t know why. And I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what his problem is, Dave. But he’s going to get done for all kinds of acts if he isn’t careful – maybe even rape.”
Dave joined him by the ledge of the runner and rested his arms on the beam. “Seriously – is it drugs?” He asked, looking out to the cityscape.
Kurt shrugged. “I thought he was drinking again, but we would have been able to smell it on him. Every time I’ve confronted him about it, I’ve ended up like you have.”
Dave nodded and didn’t speak for a while. He turned slightly to Kurt and sighed. “Well, maybe we should try and confront him together,” he suggested.
Kurt nodded a little and finished his cigarette. He turned to the younger man and nodded again. “Tomorrow,” he said, softly, starting to make his way back into the hotel room. “We’ll do it tomorrow.”
Dave stayed on the balcony. He heard the sounds of the TV in the room – Kurt was watching cartoons again, which made Dave smile slightly. He turned his attentions back to the city and wondered what the hell was going on with Krist.
He knew they had to find out. He knew if they didn’t, things could get much worse – especially with Kurt’s temper. Although he wasn’t matched as well, Kurt was strong when he needed to be and more so when he was in a fit of rage. It was not a fight Dave wanted to witness.
“Dave!” Kurt called suddenly. Dave blinked and came out of his thoughts. “Dave, they’re showing that weird kids’ show again – come and watch it and drink some beer.”
Dave went inside. Kurt was saving whatever he had to say about and to Krist for tomorrow. He didn’t want to deal with it anymore. Dave took that to heart and followed suit. Although Dave knew, in Kurt's mind, everything was buzzing. He would be thinking about it all night. He just didn't want Dave to worry, so he acted like he was shutting it out, shutting it off and shutting down for the night. They would do what they could tomorrow.