I stand here,mouth hung open looking in the mirror. As in my hand I hold a pregnancy test. What the fuck! How the fuck did this happen? I'm a guy. Guys don't get pregnant! How? I question. This was very strange to me,feels like a dream,but I'm not dreaming.
I know and how it happen,but I can't figure out, just how I got pregnant. I'm not a women, and I don't have a vagina, so I don't have women things to get pregnant.
The night it happen, was like two weeks ago. Dave and I was drunk as fuck, and I was getting high. People say don't get high when you're drunk, but I do anyways. I don't really remember much about it. We were so drunk. All I remember is Krist pushing me down on the bed, and kissing me. Then we started to strip each other, and that's when things got heated.
I shake my head away from the idea. I stare down at the pregnancy test again, sure enough there's a plus sigh. No! I thought. Krist and I can't take care of a kid. What are we suppose to do. When I bought the test, everyone looked at me funny, like why is a guy buying a test. But I just told them, they're for my girlfriend. I didn't really think anything of being pregnant. I was having strange symptoms of it like, being sick, eating, sleepy all the time. I called up a friend and he said, well maybe you're pregnant. Of course he was joking around.
"Dave, you alright?" I heard Krist say. I look up. still with the test in my hand.
"Pregnancy test?" He asked.
"Um..Yeah." I said.
"Dave, why do you have a pregnancy test?"
Oh fuck, I'm going to half to tell him. How will he believe me?
"Krist...I'm...Pregnant." I say, trying to get my breathing under control.
He looks at me like I'm dumb, and then starts to laugh.
"Yeah, whatever. Come on why do you have a pregnancy test?" He asked, thinking I'm joking.
It kind of hurt my feelings, but I knew he wouldn't believe me.
"Krist! I'm not kidding. I'm fucking pregnant. I don't fucking know how it happen, but god dam. I'm scared!" I say.
He knows I'm not kidding now. He comes over and hugs me.
"How did you find out?" He asks.
"I've been having symptoms, like hungry, tired, sick. I told one of my friends, and he said, joking. Maybe you're pregnant. So I bought a pregnancy test, and there it says I am. I'm scared Krist, how are we suppose to explain this to everyone?" I asked.
Kirst sighed.
"I don't know Dave."
I break away from him.
"Fuck, peoples going to think I'm some sort of freak. A guy, pregnant, with his best friends child! Yeah sure, why don't you stick me on Tv or send me to some lab right now!" I ramble on.
Krist came over to me.
"Will you stop it! No one is taking you anywhere or putting you on tv. You know why?"
"Why?"
"Because, you're not having this baby. No, it's way too expensive to raise a child right now, and Dave, are we really eligible to take care of a baby? I mean come on."
I looked at him shocked. He wants to kill this baby! Not giving it one chance of life to live.
"You don't want the baby?" I asked.
"Do you want the whole world laughing at us, at you?"
"No, but. It's our child, we created it." I say, no emotion to my voice.
"You want to keep the baby?"
"I would like to."
Krist sighed.
"Alright. Dave, if you don't want anyone to know about this. You half to keep this a secret. That means hiding you and this baby. Then that's what we half to do.
I looked at him.
"Then lets make it possible." I say.
Having this baby is going to be difficult. If I half to hide away, then how am I going to get the checkups and everything for this baby, not to mention, me being a drug addict. I lay on my bed wondering these things. I place a hand on my belly. I feel a lump. Hmm. Wonder why there's a lump? Shouldn't it still be too small to actual start showing. Krist said, I'd have to start wearing big shirts and clothes.
"You're going to be one tough cookie huh?" I say to the baby.
I feel the baby move. Wait, shouldn't it been too soon for that also? Something isn't right here. I don't understand. Why is my baby moving now! I get out of bed and run into Krist's room.
"What's wrong?" He asks.
"Krist, something isn't right. The baby is moving, and a baby isn't suppose to move this early. I want to go to a doctor, now!" I tell him.
"Alright. Calm down. If you want to go to a hospital, fine." Krist said.
Think god Krist listens. I'm so glade he's supportive of me.
We get to a hospital, whatever thing I have to tell them that will get them too look at my stomach, well child. I'll have to do. So I'll have to lie.
"I'm having stomach pains, bad." I say. Holding my stomach and faking that I'm in pain.
I lay back on the bed thing, and he places his hands on my stomach.
"Hmm. That's weird, I feel a knot."
I pretend to panic.
"What, could that be bad?" I ask.
"Maybe, we'll have to do some tests. And a ultrasound."
A ultrasound. That means I get to see my baby. Cool.
The doctor brings in the ultrasound machine. I'm actually nervous. Krist is right next too, holding my hand. We stare at each other for a while.
"Alright. Now, this is going to be cold." He said, then put some gooey stuff on my stomach.
He started looking around.
"Oh, my, god. I don't believe this." He said.
I look up at Krist.
"What?" I asked.
"Well, I don't know how to tell you this. But, you're pregnant." The doctor said.
I knew it. I was actually happy, but I had to play this out.
"P-pregnant. What, I'm a guy, I can't get pregnant. How?" I asked.
He sat up.
"I'm not sure how, but if you let us do blood work, and some test, we can find out."
"No!" I say, jumping up.
"You can't tell anyone."
"Why not?" He asked.
"People will think I'm a freak."
Krist walked over to him.
"Look doctor. We knew he was pregnant. We just wanted to actually make sure, he didn't think something was right. It's too soon for the baby to be growing, will you please be his doctor and find out what's wrong?" Krist asked.
The doctor looked at Krist.
"You faked a problem, knowing what was right, and then you ask me to be his doctor?" He asked.
"Please, no one else can know about this."
"I'll do it." He said.
Krist and I was relived. My baby was going to get some help.
He started doing test. Krist took my hand.
"If we have to wait all night, to know what's going on, then we'll half to." He said.
The doctor came back in with the tests.
"So?" Krist asked.
"I'm not sure how to explain this, but I'll give it my best try." He said, sitting down next to Dave.
"You're baby is growing every day inside the womb. I guess because you're a boy it's faster for him to grow.
But you're baby has a slow heart beat."
"Is that good or bad?" I asked, concerned.
"As of right now, I'm not sure until he's born.
"He, so it's a boy?"
"Yes. Now, we also found drugs in your system. To let you know, we advice you not to use drugs if you want your baby to be healthy."
"Alright. So how am I going to give birth?"
"You'll have to have a c-section. It'll be totally safe. It's the only way." The doctor explained.
My breathing was heavy.
"If you don't give birth. You could die." The doctor said.
I sit here on my bed. I keep playing with my stomach. I can feel my baby moving around. It makes me happy. It's so weird, the doctor said he'd be born so early, because he's growing fast. Doesn't make sense to me. But I'm really happy. It makes me happy to know that I'm having a kid, or Krist and I are having a kid. I sit up and go over to my computer, I turn it on, and then go online to look up baby names. If we're going to have a baby, guess he is going to need a name. I started to look up boy baby names. None came up I liked. I wanted something simple, and easy. I shut off the computer and went downstairs. I felt a pain in my side.
I grabbed my stomach.
"Hungry?" I asked.
I started to search through the cabinets and stuff. Didn't really have anything, so I found a box of cookies and started eating them. Krist walked into the kitchen.
"You're feeding him cookies?" He asked.
"He's hungry." I say.
"Jeez, now we're going to have one hyper baby."
"Nah."
I put the cookie down, and went over to him. I started to cry.
"Krist, what if somethings wrong with him?" I said, sobbing into his chest.
"Hey, shh..Listen, nothing is wrong with him. He's going to be really healthy."
"Yeah, but when he was conserved, we were doing heroin."
"Doesn't mean anything. He'll be fine. Trust me."
"I want to. But if somethings wrong, I might half to go crazy."
"You wont."
"Could really love a drink right now."
"Um. No, you want the baby to be healthy right?"
"Yeah I know."
Krist walked out of the kitchen and I turned around and grabbed another cookie, but then stopped when a sharp pain ran through my side. I winces in pain, then look worried.
"No, it's too soon." I said, looking around. Then the sharp pain hits again, I'm worried, oh baby stop please...
Later that day I lay in bed with Krist. Krist was rubbing my stomach, I haven't told him about the pains, figured it didn't matter. Was probably just some minor contraction or something.
"So, have you thought of a name yet?" Krist asked.
"Nah, I'm not sure, guess we'll just half to see when he arrives." I said, happy.
I tried to roll over on my side so I can sleep for a while, the baby is really taking a lot out of me, makes me exhausted. But then another pain hits, I hold my stomach, and try not to let Krist notice, because if he notices then he'll take me back to the hospital.
I woke up later in the day, more later than Krist. Krist and I are usually early birds, but since I got pregnant, I've been so exhausted and been sleeping for a while these days. It's been a month now since I found out I was pregnant. When I first found out I was scared, scared that the baby wont make it, scared that we won't be able to take care of him. Krist said no matter what, he'd support this child with his life. I'm glade he wants the baby, because I also want to have the baby. Knowing that we're both guys and that guys can't have babies, doesn't really freak Krist and I out. This baby is going to bring joy to our new family, that's another reason why I want to have my baby. I know he'll be something spacial, I can since it. I roll over on to my back and find the tv remote, I hit the play bottom and turn on some music. Guns N' Roses was playing. I rolled my eyes, eh they're an alright band, but I'm not too hyped about them. I feel the baby move, I put my hand on my stomach.
"Oh, I forgot, babies love to hear music." I said.
I feel the baby kick, I laugh.
"You're really enjoying this aren't you?"
I feel the him kick again. Then I see Krist inter the room. He smiles and comes over to the bed.
"What are you doing?"
"I turned on the tv to see what was on, then I found the music channel to watch, so I decided to watch that. Then I felt the baby kick, so I remembered, babies love to listen to music, so I was letting him listen to music." I explained to him.
Krist climbed into the bed, and rested.
"Can't wait for him to be born." Krist says.
"I know. Krist, we still need a name for him. He can't just be the baby." I say.
"We'll get a name for him, it'll just take some time. We half to find one we like first."
Then I got an idea. I sit up and turn to Krist.
"I just thought. This baby can't have any of our last names."
Krist looked puzzled.
"Why not?"
"Well, if we don't want the whole world to know who's baby he actually is, then he'll need a fake last name."
"True, or we could give one any one of our last names, and make up a new one."
Dave looked confused.
"Not really sure what you mean."
"I mean. We half to give him one of our last names anyways right?"
"Yeah, but."
Krist held up his hand.
"Well, we can do that. And then when he starts school and stuff, we'll just have him go by a different last name."
"But Krist, that's illegal to do that."
"Um..Nah not really. We could always have his named switched."
"Alright. I understand now. But we still need a first name." I said.
I got up and walked over to my computer and turned it on. Then I started to search for baby names again. I brought out a piece of paper and a pen and wrote, boy baby name. We started to search through them. Didn't really find any we actually liked.
Krist sighed, then put his head on the table.
"Dave, it's been almost two hours, and we've practically been through the whole list."
Then I seen something that caught my eye and I wrote it down.
"What do you think about this?" I asked, handing him the paper.
"Kurt Nicholas Novoselic." He read.
He looked over at Dave.
"You're giving him my last name?"
"Well yeah. Isn't the fathers the one that the kids take the name after?"
"Well yeah, but you're practically a father to."
"Yeah, but I'm caring the child."
"Well. Thanks, I really appreciate that."
"You're welcome."
I got off to turn the computer off, when a big pain hit in my side.
"Ah, ow." I said.
"What's wrong?" Krist asked.
I looked at him shocked.
"Krist, I think I'm having a contraction."
Krist's eyes widen and his mouth drop. I sat back down, I was getting dizzy by standing up. I guess this is what labor feels like. Another contraction hits, and I scream.
"Ahh, Krist I can't take it, you half to get me to a hospital now. It feels like my insides are tearing out!" I screamed.
Krist bolted back to reality. He came over to me and got me up. Something doesn't feel right. Something feels wet. I look down and noticed that I'm bleeding.
"Krist!" I screamed.
"Oh god. Alright, we need to get you to a hospital fast." He said.
He through the door open and rushed me to the car. This doesn't feel like labor at all, this feels worse, but I'm a guy I never experienced this in my whole life. I clawed my nails into the handle of the door. I feel weak, probably from the blood lose. Then that's when I thought.
"Krist, it's too soon for him to come. Krist this isn't labor, it's a miscarriage." I say.
Krist looked over at me shocked.
"No, we came too far for this to be a miscarriage. Don't worry, we're just ten minutes away from the hospital. I'll get you there and are baby will be born. "
I looked at him, but closed my eyes and turned away.
We finally arrived at the hospital, we used the emergency exit only, so no one will notice that I'm pregnant.
"Help, please. My friend, somethings wrong. Please help him!" Krist shouted.
I smiled, Krist was such a good actor. Hopefully are baby gets that from him. The doctors rush over to me.
"We need to get him to I.C.U right away, he's losing too much blood. Sir, do you know what happen?" A nurse asked.
"No, we share a apartment, we're friends and I heard him scream and I run in and he's saying his stomach hurt. Then I noticed the blood, so I rushed him here." Krist explained, and lied. God I hope that's one thing Kurt doesn't get from him.
"I want doctor Carter." I say.
"He's busy with another patient." A Nurse said.
"I want him! He's the one I came to see for my stomach pains. I want to see him, or no one is touching me." I screamed.
The Nurse left to go get Dr. Carter. Krist followed with him, so he'd know it's me. The only reason I want Dr. Carter is because I haven't told anyone else about my pregnancy. It's a good thing they put me in a private room.
Krist, the Nurse and Dr. Carter entered the room.
"Doc. It's too soon for me to be having the baby." I say.
"I'll half to take a look." He said.
The Female nurse turned to the doctor.
"What's going on?" She asked.
"Look Lexi, I know this is going to sound insane, but he's having a baby and he's having it now!"
She looked confused.
"What, but he's a guy, how is he having a baby?" She asked.
"We're not sure, but it's happening. But Lexi, if you want to help, and I need your help, you can't tell a single sole about any of this!" He said.
"Yeah, sure. I promise."
"Aright Dave, you're going to half to push and I mean hard."
I pushed as hard as I could. They half to do a C-Section. I'm scared to death. For me, Krist and for Kurt.
I push again.
"I can see the baby. Just one more big push."
I pushed again, as hard now.
"It's a boy!" I heard Nurse Lexie say.
I put my head back in relief. Now here comes the hard stuff. They rushed Kurt out of the room and into the nursery, so they can take care of him. He was too small to be born. I didn't even get a chance to see him.
I'll half to wait Intel the doctor is all through with me and I need my rest.
"Doctor, how is he?" I asked.
"I'm not sure yet. He was born really early, that's all I know, but when I get through here." He said, finishing up and then leaving.
I turn to look at Krist.
"Do you think he'll be alright?" I asked.
He came over and took my hand.
"Not saying this to make you feel better, but there's just something about him, that will make him be alright."
I felt exhausted.
"Sleep, you look tired. When you wake up, you'll get to see baby Kurt." Krist said.
I closed my eyes and exhaustion take over.
I woke up around twelve in the morning. It took a lot out of me to have baby Kurt. Krist smiled and came over to me holding what looks like a baby. I smiled.
"Do you want to hold him?" He asked.
"How did you, is he alright?" I asked.
"Nurse Lexie said we can hold him, but he can't stay out long. Dave, he's gorgeous." He said, handing me baby Kurt. And I wanted to cry.
Kurt Nicalos Cobain Novoselic. Weighs three pounds five and one half ounces. But that's not what's beautiful about what, what's beautiful is his azure eyes and his blond hair. I looked up to Krist.
"Where'd he get blond hair?" I asked.
"I don't know, but his eyes. The color, Dave. He's a miracle baby." Krist said.
I laughed.
"A miracle baby, no he's an angel." I say.
Nurse Lexie came in.
"I'm sorry, but I half to take Kurt back."
I gave Kurt to her. And she took him back to his room. He can only survive on air for about an hour right now. But with some help from the hospital, he should be fine soon. I felt tired again. So I feel back asleep.