I want to go home. This isn't the first time that has passed through my mind. I've only been in this city for four days, and already I'm homesick. Well, Dave, suck it up. This is your new home, so technically, you are home. I must be lonely. I haven't talked to myself in my mind like this for quite a long time. I guess it's due to the fact I have no one to talk to. I called my Mom last night... but does that count? I need friends. God, that's the least of my worries. I need a place to live. That Holiday Inn isn't going to hold up as a place of residence for too long. I'm not even quite sure on what I'm doing here. Seattle, Washington. It's such a random place to move to. It just... felt like something was here for me. I can't explain it.
Unfolding the white sheet of paper I clutch tightly in my hand, I read the address one more time. It's funny that no matter how many times you read something, you still have to check just one more time. I'm a nervous-type person like that. I read the number and slow down as I pass a hair salon, in which the apartment should be above. Sure enough, a foot or two from the door leading into the hair salon, is another door. I fold the sheet back up and push it into my pocket, then grab the doorknob and walk inside. It's cold outside, all the thermometers I've seen have read 46F or lower. The hallway I step into is warm. I unzip my coat and walk to the end of the short hallway, which leads up a staircase.
By the time I reach the apartment I'm in search of, I'm nervous as fuck. As I climbed the stairs, I started to think about certain things. And these certain things lead me into a small panic. So now I'm scared to knock. What if he just looks at me and says no? It's scary. Rejection, that is. Even if it's merely from a potential roommate. Without another thought, I strike the door twice with my fist and bite down on my bottom lip. I hear movement and a second later I hear the click of a lock.
"Hey." The man on the other side smiles and opens the door for me. He's about seven inches taller than me, and appears to be maybe a few years older than me. Brown hair, green eyes, a medium frame covered by purple jeans and a golden button down shirt... he's something, alright. "You're Dave, right?" I nod and walk in. It's really nice.
"Yep. That would be me." I extend my hand and he shakes it. I make sure to do the whole firm handshake thing. I don't know, I guess it's supposed to be an subconscious sign of if you're really interested in the subject at hand or not. Or something like that. I get my facts mixed up often, that's why I tend to shrink back when discussing something. I hate sounding like an ass.
"Great. I'm Krist, but I guess you already knew that." I like this guy. I probably look scared shitless right now, but I do like him. He's friendly. "I'll show you around here, and then I need to ask you a few things. You know, all that standard crap. I just don't want some psycho to move in." He laughs while eyeing me carefully. Oh God, he probably already thinks I'm insane.
After Krist showed me around the apartment and explained some stuff, we sit down on his couch. He offered me something to drink, which I accept by choosing Coke. That was a good sign already, no Pepsi, I don’t like Pepsi, I only drink Coke. So now we sit on the couch silently, myself holding a can of coke, but being too scared to actually drink it. It's an odd moment. I want to break the silence more than anything, but I don't know what to say. He's considering me, I know that much. If he knew he didn't want me, then I would be gone already. He shifts and sits forward.
"Well..." He presses his hands together and brings them up next to his mouth. "You're the one." Immediately, I sit forward and my eyes grow wide.
"Really?" My heart leaps as I take in what he just said. He smiles and nods.
"Yes, really. I've been sitting here, and I've been thinking, you're probably the best guy I'm going to find." He shrugs his shoulders lightly and sits against the back of the couch again. "I've had three guys other than you come and look around. One smelled really bad. The other stole a bunch of my candles for God knows why. And the last kept making references to our Lord Jesus Christ and it really started to creep me out after a while. You're so fucking normal.. and nice. It's a relief." He laughs to himself and punches my shoulder in a playful manner.
"Well... wow. You don't know how much this means to me." I have to hold back from screaming. That's just how excited I am. I, Dave Grohl, have a place to live.
"Glad that you're happy. So... where are you at right now?" He raises an eyebrow.
"Uh, the Holiday Inn..."
"Oh. Not a bad place. I've stayed there once or twice. You want to continue to shack up there or..." He glances at the wall opposite us, where a clock hangs. '...or come by today? I mean, it's only one.'
"Well... really?" I squint and the nervous feeling comes back to me. I'm not good with new people... I didn't think he'd decide for a few days. So, I meet him, and now move in? God. I'm panicking again.
"Sure. You have a lot of stuff?"
"Uh..." I make a mental list of everything I have and realize nearly all of it is in the room with me, so obviously it wouldn't take long to move in. "Not much. Mainly clothing and a few items I couldn't part with. You know how it goes."
"Sure sure. Yeah, come by today. The sooner we get you in here, the sooner you start paying half the rent, and the sooner I can buy some pretty new things for my love-ah." He grins and stands up.
"Don't look so scared." He laughs to himself again. "I'm just kidding. You're a lot more than someone to pay rent. Hey, maybe we could be friends. Who knows. Follow me." I stand up and try to imagine us being friends. He seems too... cool... for me. I don't know, I'm always worried and looking for the downside. He seems to free and easygoing. Maybe this is a bad idea... what if I get in trouble while hanging out with him? I've never really been in trouble before. Except that time when I came home really stoned and covered in hives. I was only sixteen so I guess mom had a reason to punish me... God, it's pathetic that this is the worst thing I can't think of.
"So, it's really ok if I move in today? I mean, I won't be messing anything up?" Part of me wishes he would tell me it would be better to come by next week. That way I would have some time to regroup and let all of this sink in.
"Perfectly fine. Though, I'm going out around five, so, I might be here... I might not. Either way, make this place your home. Just don't break any of my shit." We enter the kitchen area and he opens a drawer under the sink. "Here's a key." He places a key in the palm of my hand, which I had put out a moment before. I close my hand around the key and all my worries disappear.
"Great. I'll be over later." I smile and he nods, patting me on the back.
"See ya." He exits the kitchen, but I remain standing there for a moment longer. Wow... this is my apartment. Well, it's Krist's apartment, but I live here.
I leave the kitchen and walk back over to the front door, taking my time to look at everything I pass. I grasp the doorknob and turn it slowly. This is a whole new life for me.
3 hours later, I'm back at the apartment, having gotten all of my stuff upstairs. Luckily, Krist was still here when I arrived, so he helped me bring it up. It would have taken me four or five trips without him. As I'm sitting here on the floor of what will be my room once I unpack, so many things are going through my mind. Don't you hate that feeling? Like, you have a million things you should be taking care of, but all of them are cramming together so you can't concentrate on anything? That's how I am right now.
My mind keeps going back to my car. It's pretty nice. I was going to sell it, but I don't want to. Krist mentioned some parking garage up the street that you can pay a yearly fee to park at. I'll probably end up doing that. Now that's just one more thing to add to my 'to do list'.
"Hey, I'm going now. Got everything under control?" His head peaks in through the door and I quickly nod.
"Great." He waves and turns around swiftly, buttoning his green shirt, he’s got on a pair on hot pink pants now, he must really like bright colors.
My mind falls back to the boxes and bags that surround me. I pull a smaller box towards me and rip the tape off. I peel open the thick sides and begin to look through the contents. Mainly books, pictures, and some decoration type things. I pull out the framed pictures of my family and set them aside. Next comes the few books that I brought with me. I've never been much for reading. One book remains in the box, much larger than the others. It's my yearbook from junior year of high school. Hm, this shouldn't be in here. I left all of my high school memories at home, not wanting to wreck them. Anyway, my Mom likes keeping them around.
Absentmindedly, I begin to flip through it. There's so many kids that I used to be friends with, but then they just sort of faded out. It's odd how that happens. There's one picture in the back, where all the random pictures are placed, of Taylor and myself goofing off in the auditorium. I remember him. I liked him... a lot. We would go into the auditorium after school almost every night and just hang out. That one night he started talking about relationships and he came out to me. He told me that no one else knew he was gay, and he wanted it to be kept a secret. I never would have told anyone. It got out eventually, I don't know how it happened, but it wasn't that bad. We didn't go to the auditorium as much anymore, but when we did, he would talk about the kids who make fun of him. It wasn't bad at all, it wasn't like he was being tormented day in and day out. It was just the subtle comments that hurt him. That one kid that would mutter fag under his breath as he passed. Just the little things. One day in January we were walking out of the school and I remember how upbeat he was. It was different and I liked it. He kept laughing and reminding me of all the things we've done together. It had snowed earlier that week so there will still mounds here and there and he kept making snowballs and throwing them at me. He killed himself that night. I guess those little things got to him a lot more than I thought.
Plagued by bad memories, I shut the book and set it back in the box. My hands fall to the floor on either side of me and I stare at the wooden floor that surrounds the rug I sit on, covering a good area of it. I wish Taylor was still here. There could have been something between us. I often think about how he was that day, how happy he was. He knew what he was doing, didn't he? I wish I could take that moment and put it behind glass. Have it so it could stay the same forever and I won't ever have to worry about forgetting it.
I wake up to sunlight flowing through my window, warming my body. I must of fallen asleep while I was unpacking, considering I am laying on the floor at this moment. Sitting up, I arch my back, stretching. It's a little on the chilly side right now. I pull one of my bags over and remove a hoodie, followed by pulling it on and zipping it up. A glint of silver catches my eye and I pull my watch out from my bag as well. 10:28am. Wow, I actually slept. I doubt I've slept any more than 3 hours a night for the past month or two. This is good... I feel refreshed.
Getting up, I look around the room for a few seconds before walking to my door. Krist should be up, shouldn't he? I hope he, it would feel weird to be out there all alone. I know I live here now, but I haven't settled in or anything. It still doesn't feel like a home. I'll just have to take my chances. Grasping the doorknob, I turn it and step out into the hallway. I listen carefully and do hear movement from the main area of the apartment. Good. Walking through the living room area I enter the kitchen, where Krist is at the sink.
"Morning." I say this lightly and sit down at the table. He glances back and smiles.
"Hey. Morning. Sleep well?" I sit back in the chair and nod.
"Yeah. Well... I didn't really get my bed together so I slept on the floor... but it's all good." He finishes whatever he was doing and turns around, leaning against the counter.
"That's good. You need pillows or sheets or anything? Because I have extras of all those things.”
"No, I have... stuff. I'll be ok.” He nods and turns back to the counter, taking out a pot of coffee and bringing it over to the table.
"Sure." He sets the pot down, ahh fresh pots, and takes two cups out of the cupboard, then sets one in front of me and the other in front of himself as he sits down. "So... did you have a good time wherever you went last night?” I'm trying desperately to keep conversation between us. I know that the silence would be awkward, and I hate that feeling. He takes a sip of his coffee and nods.
"Yes, I did. Went to club... great music. And a lot of great people." As he speaks, I can hear a door open somewhere in the apartment.
"Sounds like fun." I answer, but I'm preoccupied with that door. Is someone else here?
"You should come with us sometime. You'd make some friends." The soft sound of feet padding over the wooden floor now near the area and I watch the doorway. A man, who I have never seen before, enters the kitchen. He yawns and runs his fingers down his bare chest and stomach lazily until he hits the waist of the pajama pants, which hang dangerously low on his slim waist.
"Hi." He greets me and walks over to the sink, grabbing a glass and filling it with water.
"Hey." I eye him up silently. Now he... he is nice. A little scrawny, but still, none the less, nice. Perfectly smooth skin with a pale complexion, big blue eyes and dirty blonde hair that I assumed was brushed earlier, but now is matted from sleep. I'm guessing the pajama pants are Krist's, considering he continuously pulls them up and tugs at the drawstring. He shifts his gaze towards me and I'm quick to stop staring.
"Hey hun." The man brings his glass over to the table and sets it down near Krist's coffee cup, then sets himself in his lap.
"Hey." They share a quick kiss before the blonde haired man rests his body against Krist's, fingers intertwining with his. "Is this the infamous Dave?"
"Yep. This is. Dave, this is Kurt." He brings a hand up and pats Kurt on the head, causing him frown and jab Krist with his elbow.
"I'm not a dog." He presses his nose to his cheek and Krist smiles.
"Naw. But you are my pet." He turns his head and kisses Kurt again. This display of affection ends and Kurt settles his body again in the position it was previously.
"So, where did you move from?" He asks me this, a smile touching his lips. I bow my head forward lightly, trying to ignore the voice that keeps telling me how fucking hot he is.
"Uh... Virginia." Is it good if you forget where you lived? I don't think so. "Alexandria area." I bite my bottom lip.
"I was telling Dave that he should come out with us sometime. Would that be ok?" Krist runs a finger down Kurt's arm as he walks back over to him.
"That would be great. I like him." He falls into Krist's lap again and brings a hand up to tangle his fingers through the matted mess of blonde hair.
“Hear that Dave? He approves of you.” I smile and can feel myself blush slightly.
"That's good." I reach out and pick my coffee cup up, taking a sip of it slowly. Kurt looks over at a clock that hangs on the wall and turns his body so he can bring his face close to Krist's.
"I have to get going soon." Krist nods.
"I know you do." Kurt's nose touches his a moment before he leans in for what I can only assume is a very passionate kiss. I know I shouldn't be watching, so I direct my gaze to the window over the sink, but then resort to watching them out of the corner of my eye. It would be so nice to take Krist's place in that kiss. Ok, I admit to having developed the slightest, slightest, crush on Kurt over the small amount of time I've known him. I know, I know, that's bad. Bad Dave. But come on... he's majorly cute.
I tear from my thoughts as I see movement. Kurt stands up and kisses Krist one more time before taking a few steps towards the doorway.
"I'm going to go get dressed." He takes another few steps before turning back again. “Nice to meet you, Dave.” He winks at me and leaves the room. Krist laughs and grabs his coffee cup, taking another sip.
"He likes you. That's good. He doesn't like many people." I smile to myself.
"Well I'm glad to be part of that few people." I run my hand over the smooth surface of the table. It reminds me of something a little kid would have in a playroom. Wooden legs and a white tiled top, surrounded by a wooden frame. Can't you just picture finger paint and glitter spread all over it? I know I can. It bothers me that a grown man has a table like this in his house. It's not like I hate him for it, it's just something that irritates me. You'd expect some fancy wood table, if they have money. And some plastic, cheap-ish table if they didn't have money. Honestly, I don't know why I'm going on about this table.
"How long have you been going out?" I break my gaze from the table and look back up at him.
"Mm, 3 months or so. I think I love him." That think caused me to smile. I kill the thoughts quickly and jump to the next thing that's on my mind.
"So you're... uh... you know..." I clear my throat, not sure if what I'm saying will offend him. "...gay?"
"Obviously." He brings the cup to his lips again. "Wait, you're ok with that. Right?" I quickly nod.
"Yeah, yeah. I am." At this point I'm not too sure if I should tell him that I too am of the homosexual kind. Would it seem like I'm just trying to be part of the crowd? Damn, I'm such a dumbass. I overthink things way too often. "Um... I am... too." This comes out a squeak and I'm hoping he didn't understand.
"I thought so." Wait... he thought I was? Is that good? "I mean, just the way you were looking at Kurt."
"Wait... Kurt. No, no... you see..." I'm saying every word that comes to mind as I fail horribly at forming a sentence. He laughs and shakes his head.
"Man, it's ok. He's a hottie. I understand. I'm not going to beat you up or anything." My heart is still beating far too fast.
"I... don't... like him." I say this slowly slowly and he smirks.
"Whatever. Just don't think this gives you ground to make a pass. If that happens, I kill you." He gives a look that causes me to swallow hard and a lump to form in my stomach. But then he starts laughing. I hear that door open in the distance again. He stands up and leaves the room to say goodbye. I remain seated in the kitchen.
Krist's a nice guy, but his tone said that he meant business. I think I'll just let this crush fade out. I can't trust my actions around Kurt if I’m pining after him.
A/N: How'd you all like? Some reviews would really motivate me to continue. Also if I haven't mentioned before English is my second language so if you see anything wrong feel free to point it out to me.