Dave wants Kurt to go away. Kurt may have died a year ago but he's still there. The existence of Kurt is what Dave wants to go away so badly. He wants Kurt to leave his presence. No matter what Dave does he can't get the beautiful blonde out of his head.
Every time he picks up a cookie he thinks 'Kurt always liked these...' or of the time his lover shoved the chocolate goodness in his mouth mid sentence, during an interview.
When he lies in bed sometimes- or maybe a little bit more than sometimes, Dave pulls Kurt's old pillow up close to his belly and holds it tight. Just so he can fall asleep.
Dave opens up his bottom draw and pulls out his faded Black Flag tee shirt. He buries his face into it and cries. Kurt had given it to him for Christmas the year they lived together in the rundown apartment. It had always been his favorite, Kurt putting in extra hours just so he could afford it, making it all the more sentimental. He remembers Kurt's cheeks turning a bright red as he shoved the poorly wrapped box into his hands, mumbling a 'Merry Christmas.'
"I don't want you to go away," Dave whispers to the empty room.