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Chapter One

Chapter One

Anas POV

Anthony rolled off of me and on to the bed, breathing heavily. I sat up on my elbow and smiled down at him. His eyes were closed and he had a slight smile of satisfaction on his face. You just keep getting better and better, honey

I set my hand on his bare chest, but he sat upso I followed him and pulled the sheets up with my chest as he grabbed a bottle next to him and downed half of what was left then handed it off to me. I lifted the bottle to my lips and tipped it up onceand then twice and handed it back to him. He drank what was left then set the bottle on the floor. He pulled himself back up on the bed and then threw his body over mine resting his head on my covered chest.

I played with his hair and looked down at him as he closed his eyes. You know Im real proud of you, hon.


Yup, youre twenty-four and already put out three records. Thats incredible, Anthony. Youre amazing.

He grinned. Aw, baby. Youre so sweet. He opened his eyes and looked up at me, then reached up to kiss my neck. He rested his head back on my chest and settled down again, closing his eyes. Love you, Ana.

I smiled and continued to play with his long blonde hair. I love you too, Anthony.

Danis POV

My opened my eyes slightly and yawned, then cuddled back into my pillow and closed my eyes. But my going back to sleep was interrupted by hands on my body and lips on my neck. A smile crept on my face before I opened my eyes and rolled over. Hello Mr. Slovak.

He hovered over me. Hello Ms. California.

I wrinkled my nose and smiled. You know thats not my real name.

Yeahbut I like calling you Dani California. Its a cool name, its sexy. He flopped on his back and pulled me with him so I rolled on top of his body as he fell to the mattress. I have a surprise for you, he said with a smile.

Yeah? I asked. Whacha got for me?

Ill give it to yousoon enough.

Thanks for the tease, I shook my head at him with a smirk.

Any time, babe. He kiss me and then leaned back.

Kurts POV

I went through the mail from the mail box and read over each one, checking to see if anything was for Chris. Mrs. NovoselicMrs. NovoselicMrs. Nohey wait.

Whacha got? Tracy asked me as I opened the door to Chris house. I threw the rest of the mail on the kitchen table and ripped open the letter.

Holy shitChris! A huge smile grew on my face. Chris! Chris! I ran through the house yelling his name, then heard music coming from the basement. I swung the door open and raced down the stairs, skipping that last few and jumping down to meet him. Chris! Shut the hell for a second! Chris! Chad! I yelled trying to get their attention.

They stopped. We were right in the middle of a jam, man, Chad complained. What do you want? This better be important.

First of all, fuck you. I turned back to Chris. Second of all, read this! I threw the paper at him and he struggled to catch it. He finally read it.

Soon he had a smile on his face as big as mine. You son of a bitch, we made it! Chris yelled.

Whats going on? Chad asked.

Here you little garden gnome! Chris threw the paper at him and Chad threw himself over the drum set to catch it. I cant believe this! Chris yelled at me.

I know! I grabbed his hands and we started jumping up and down.

Chad stood up. Holy shit! he screamed.

Oh get over here! Chris yelled at me then grabbed my face and kissed me. My arms flew up over my shoulders, and my eyes went wide. I honestly didnt mind that much, it just caught me off guard.

Whoa! Hey, Chris, back down Off my boyfriend, Tracy joked walking in the basement. Will someone please tell me whats going on? I grabbed the piece of paper from Chad and ran it over to her, tripping over wires in the process. She read over the letter and then looked up at me in awe. Oh my god! Kurt! This isamazing!

Were making a record! I yelled and kissed her. I pulled away and she gave me a look.

Did you eat eggs for breakfast?

Sorry Chris said sheepishly, that was me

Picture: Tracy and Kurt

A/N: So I hope you guys like it so far! I can't wait to get started on this one!

Chapter Two

Hillels POV

I knocked on my own bedroom door for some odd reason. Come in! Dani called from inside. I walked in and closed the door behind me.

You almost ready? I asked walking up behind her.

Yeah, she said. Can you put this necklace on for me? She held it behind her neck and then moved her hair over her shoulder as I clipped it together. Thanks, she said turning around with a big smile.

You lookeven more gorgeous than usual.

She blushed a little then looked down to try and hide it. She looked back up as she bit her lip. You look pretty damn good yourself.

So uhwhered you get this dress? It looks really good on you, by the way.

She laughed at me. Well you tell me, youre the one who bought it.

Well dont I have good taste.

She laughed again and pulled herself up to place her lips on mine. I love you, Hillel.

I love you too, Danielle.

She smirked at me as she pulled on my tie a little then walked out of the room. Boy, did she look good. I followed her out the door and we got in my car. I was really excited, I had the perfect plan and the perfect atmosphere and the perfect girl.

When we pulled up to the restaurant, I helped her get out of the car and we walked inside together. So this is what you had planned, she said, thinking she had put everything together.

Yup, I said, but this is only the beginning. We walked up to the restaurant host. Reservations for two, they should be under Slovak.

Of course, right this way Mr. and Mrs. Slovak.

Dani laughed a little. Soon, I mumbled under my breath.

Will this table be alright for the evening?

Yes, thank you, I said.

Danis POV

Dinner went amazing. I loved being with Hillel, he was amazing. The entire night was amazing. The restaurant was gorgeous and the food was really good. After Hillel paid the bill, we sat and talked for a little while before we went back out to his car. I was just about to get in when Hillel said my name, Dani? I turned around with a big smile.

He took my hands and looked at me. Danielle, I really, really love youa lot. He took a deep breath and began to crouch down.

No, Hillel. What are you doing? I watched as he knelt down on one knee.

He looked up at me with the most sincere smile in the entire world. Danielle He let go of my hands to reach into his coat pocket and pulled out a small, velvet box. I do, I love you to the moon and back. And I would do absolutely anything for you. He opened the box, revealing a sparkling diamond ring. Will you do me the honor of being Mrs. Danielle Slovak?

I raised my hand to my lips as I tried to hold back the tears about to escape my watering eyes. He stood up and took my other hand, slipping the silver band around my finger. I looked up at him breathless and speechless.


I gave up trying to fight the tears and threw my arms around his neck. Yes! Yes! I cried. I love you so muchI love you.

He squeezed me and kissed my cheek. I love you too, baby.

Gif: Dani

Chapter Three

Danis POV

We were all at Anthonys house, the whole band, Ana and I were gathered in the living room. So, as you guys may knowas you guys probably know, I began, Hillel and I are getting married.

Everyone clapped. Anthony came over and jumped on Hillel wrapping his arms around his head. Yeah! Thats my boy!

Ana came over and sat next to me. She took my hand and looked over my finger. Oh my god, Dani. Its gorgeous.

Isnt it? I smiled.

Whats the wedding date? Flea called out.

Yeah! Yeah! Jack motivated Flea.

Oh God! I said. I dont even wanna think about that yet!

Anthonys the best man, isnt he? Jack asked.

Hillel managed to reach out a thumbs up from under Anthonys body. Anthony laughed and rolled off of him just to sit on Hillels lap again. Ana and I both smiled at them as Hillel wrapped his arms around Anthonys body and pulled him back. Anthony smiled up at us as he raised his eyebrows.

If you guys are trying to give us any ideas, you can cut the shit right now, Ana said. Dani and I arent rolling around together for you two.

Hey! Anthony yelled as he threw an offended face on. Two men cant cuddle without their girls thinkin they want something?!

This isyou know whatIm actually offended! Hillel added. Im highly offended right now!

Yeah! To thinkyou know what? I cant even talk to you two right now!

Aw but Anthony! Ana said getting up.

Alright! Jack said getting up. I have a feeling things are about to get weirder than they already are, so uhIm gonna go!

Yeah, Im with Jack, Flea stood up and followed the drummer out the front door.

Ana and I looked back over at the two boys sitting on top of each other, Ana went to go sit on top of Anthony. Oh god! Hillel groaned tilting his head back.

Hey baby! Anthony smiled and kissed her cheek.

My turn! I stood up and dropped myself on top of Ana.

Ohholy fuck!

See! I said. Im the only who can make him yell like that! And thats why were getting married.

Gif: Anthony and Hillel are just adorable, then Flea comes out of no where, and then you just see Jack's hat in the back XD XD XD

Chapter Four

Danis POV

UhHillel, Ill be right back, okay?

Yeah, honey. He pecked my lips. No problem. Be careful.

I nodded and went out the door. As I walked down the sidewalk with my purse, I was a little nervous. This client had been rough from the beginning, but in the end I knew Id come out on top because I was the one getting all the money and he was the one getting screwed up all the time.

After taking the ten minute stroll, I reached his apartment and rang the buzzer to his floor. Hello he mumbled in the speaker.

Hey, Charlie. Its Danielle.

Ohheyyeah he stopped and didnt say anything for a while.


Huh? Yeahyou can come up

The door made a buzzing sound letting me know that it was unlocked. I pulled it open and walked up the stairway. Coming up to his door, I took a deep breath and then knocked on it. I heard noises from the other side, like things getting thrown around or bumped over and then smacked on the wall or floor. Damn table! There were loud footsteps before locks were unlocked, and the door opened. Come in, hurry up

I stepped inside his apartment, and he closed the door behind him, making me more anxious than I already was. I uhI got most of what you asked for, but I can get the rest to you on Sunday if you want. I pulled the bag out of my purse.

He grabbed it and rummaged through it. Wheres the rest? His glare shot up at me.

Well, Frank hasnt gotten it to me yet. I mean, what youre asking for is really a lot and I

You said you can get it to me by Sunday?

I nodded. Yeah, I can definitely. Yes.

Alright, he said aggravated. Okay, fine. You can go now.

Well, you have to pay me for what I gave you, Charlie. Thats the way it works. You cant just take

He raised his voice, I will pay you, when I get everything!

Charlie, I dont want to start anything. Just pay me for what I gave you, and Ill leave. I will get the rest of it to you Sunday. And then you can pay me for that then. I just want the money for what Im giving you today. Thats all.

He slammed the bag on the small wooden table behind me, then said loudly, Dont. Screw me over. He left the room and I took a deep breath to steady my nerves for the time being. Much later, he walked back in the room flipping through dollar bills in his fingers. Here.

Thank you, Charlie. I took the money. Ill see you Sunday. I left as fast as I could counting the money he had given me to let myself know that he wasnt screwing me over. When I knew I had everything, I shoved the money in my purse and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and I lighter.

I think I went through half a pack to make sure all the shaking was gone before going back inside.

Gif: Dani

Chapter Five

Anthonys POV

Ana walked in just as I was setting up a few lines on a mirror. I set the razor blade down on the table and reached in my pocket for a bill. Ana kept eyeing me though, making me a little uncomfortable. I finished rolling up the dollar and was about to go for it when Ana glanced over at me again. I threw the dollar bill on the table and leaned back in my chair. What?! What do you want?! Why do you keep looking over at me like that?!

She stopped what she was doing and walked from the kitchen and over to the table. She leaned on one of the chairs with her hand and propped herself up on her arm. Wellwhy do you always have to do that shit?

Oh my god, Ana! Why cant you just fucking relax!? Huh?! Dont act like youve never been fucked up before! Dont act like you never do this either!

Anthony, Im not yelling at you. Youre the one that needs to calm down. And that was a long time ago.

Really, Ana?! I stood up and threw my chair. Two fucking months ago is a long time ago?! Really?!

She stood straight up. Fine! If you dont wanna just talk about this then I dont either! Im trying to help you! Im trying to have a regular conversation! Im done with this shit! Im making an effort to stop! Youre not! So you know what, fuck you! I wont help you because obviously you dont want it!

I threw myself back in my seat and put my face in my hands. You know what? Im sorry, Ana, I cried looking back up at her. Sorryif Im just so fucking tired all the time and

Youre tired?! Thats youre fucking excuse!? she yelled at me. If youre fucking tired have a god damn cup of coffee like a normal person! Dont go snorting six four inch lines at time! And youve been shooting fucking heroin!! Why the hell do you think you tired as fuck all the time?! God

Im sorry, Ana I kept crying.

And dont think just because I raised my voice second and made you cry, that Im just gonna be over this! Im fucking pissed, Anthony! Youre gonna OD one of these days and then what?! Youd probably keep going with it after that! She sighed and shook her head before she walked back into the kitchen. Godfucking idiot

Picture: Anthony

Chapter Six

Danis POV

Hillel walked in the living room, stumbling a little bit before he sat down on the couch next to me. Hey, whats going on? You alright? I knew what was wrongI just didnt want to tell myself, but I knew he wouldnt give me an answer either. He knew that I knew, but he was so enclosed about the whole situation.

YeahIjustIm a little tired He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. I had about five minutes with him before he would be completely out of it or fall asleep mid-conversation.

I ruffled his hair messing with him a lot. He pushed my hand away then lifted his hand to his head. Ughhhdont do that, I have head ache.

Im sorry, I like your hair like this though. I like it long, I never told you that. I moved closer to him. Cant I just play with your hair, baby?

Yeah but dontshake my head like that, he wrinkled his nose. It makes me dizzy when Ihave a head ache.

I sighed and ran my fingers through his hair a couple times and then continued to twirl his hair in my fingers.

He moaned a little. That actually feels really good. Keep doing that. I smiled a little and rested my head on his shoulder as I kept up at what he told me to. He struggled to reach his arm around my body.

I rubbed his chest. Shh, youre tired I kissed him a couple times. Just relax.


Shhh, baby. Did I worry about him? Yes, of course, all the time. He was dealing with heroin, how I could not be worried? But at the same time I wasnt going to be mad at him, I couldnt. He got himself into this addiction sure, but its hell getting out of it and I knew that, its not easy at all. But I just didnt know what to do, I was so scared. I always tried to be with him when he did this stuff, just so I could be with him if anything did happen. But its hard when he doesnt want to admit to his own addiction.

I placed my lips to his forehead, ran my fingers through his hair one last time, and got comfortable almost on top of him, falling asleep with him.

Picture: Flea, Hillel, Anthony, and Jack

Chapter Seven

Kurts POV

Kurt! The phone!

I swung my guitar over my shoulder and ran up the stairs. Thanks, I said taking the phone from Chris mom. Hello?

Hey, Kurt.

Damn, I said with heavy breathI havent heard from Ana in a while. Whens the last time you called?

I know, I know. Im sorry. I was just thinking of you a lot recently and Ive been so busy and I havent called in a while. She sighed. And I miss you a whole lot.

I havent seen you in two years, Ana.

I know, Im sorry! IIve been really busy and she just didnt seem to know what to say, she couldnt seem to get her words together. Im sorry.

You havent called in a while either

She ignored my last comment and say, Im planning on coming up there this summer.

Im sure your mom is gonna be excited about that.

Yeah, I havent told her yet.

We all miss you, Ana, I sighed. I wish you never moved down there. I took a deep breath. But Im not going to be selfish. Youre happy, so Im happy.

Chris walked in the room. Whos on the phone?

I handed it over to him, I really didnt know what else to say to her. Hello? he said giving me a look. Hey! Ana! God, havent heard from you in a while! She was probably giving him the same thing right now: Oh! Im sorry! I know! Blah, blah, blah. I shook my head and went back down stairs.

Chris POV

I cant wait to get up there and see you guys again, she said.

Yeah, were all looking forward to it. So Im guessing Kurt told you about the album?

What?! What album?!

We signed with a company, Sub Pop! Were gonna start recording this winter! I cant believe he didnt tell you.

Oh my god! Yay! Ugh, Im so happy! I cant wait to hear it. Ill be the first one in California to have it, Ill tell you that.

Im sure you will, Ana. I smiled to myself at how enthusiastic she was, but at the same time I couldnt help but wonder as to why Kurt wouldnt tell her. I knew how much he loved her, we both loved her, and I knew how excited he was about the record. He didnt seem happy when they finished talking to her either.

Picture: Kurt, Krist, and Chad

Chapter Eight

Danis POV

Frank, I just dont know what to do, this guy is crazy! You honestly have no idea! I took a big sip of my drink and when the waiter came by I asked for another.

He leaned forward across the table. Dani, Im sorry, babe. I never have to deal with clients, just distributors, and theyre a hell of a lot easier than clients. He leaned back in his seat. I can only imagine the shit all of you have to go through. Must suck. But hey, thats why Im in the position Im in, cause I dont want to have to deal with a bunch of piss ass junkies all the time.

You know, theyre not all worthless pieces of shit like Charlie. Hes just pathetic. But there are other people out there who really struggle and are just good people all around and dont deserve what theyve gotten into and

Dani, he put his hand on mine, I know. And Im sorry, I didnt mean it like that, you know I didnt. He sat back again. You know I only wish the best for you two, he said referring to Hillel and I. He deserves better than what lifes given to him and I pray to god hell get better every day. But lifes a bitch, Danielle, and we can only do so much to change it.

You act like hes next on deaths list

Dani, this business sucks. It really does. I hear of so many people dying in a year than most people do in their entire lives because of drugsand Im just the supplier. Its not fun and its not pretty.

I slammed my glass on the table stopping him. Okay, can we please move to on to something else?!

Alright, he looked up at me with a slight smile, you look really good tonight, Danielle.

Thank you, I said before looking up at him and letting go of my drink. As do you, Mr. Stewart. Frank Stewart was, if you couldnt tell already, my supplier and my boss. Over the years we had developed a close friendship one of mutual respect. He had class in spite of his status and position. Although most times he didnt look it, he could clean up really well of course the long, dark, wavy hair and scruff on his face didnt always help.

Gif: Frank

Chapter Nine

Danis POV

Are you sure you dont want me to go with you? Hillel asked.

Im sure, I sighed. You stay here. Ill be fine.

Okay, be careful. He kissed me. I love you, Danielle.

I love you, Hillel. I hugged him and buried my face in his chest as he squeezed me. I looked back up at him. So much. A tear strolled down my face.

Its alright, baby, he wiped the single drop away with his thumb. Dont worry. Its alright. Youre gonna be fine. Youre a tough girl. You can do this.

I nodded, although I knew he thought I was crying for a different reason and was comforting me for that, but the words worked just the same for the actual problem. I just want you to know that I love you so much. I stretched up to kiss him once, twice, then three times. I touched his face and then hurried out the door.

I stepped out into the Californian sun, summer had just begun a couple days ago but it was already starting to heat up, not that it got all that hot down here. I held my purse tightly on my shoulder. Quite honestly, I wasnt all that worried about how this deal was going to go with Charlie I was more concerned about Hillel. Hed been so out of it latelynot really doing anything. That involved writing, painting, and his guitar playing was way out of whack too. He wasnt up to doing anything really that didnt involve minimal activity and that had me going crazy.

Despite his addiction that hed been struggling with for many years now, he was always happy and never let it get in the way of him having fun and keeping up with everybody. But now he was lagging and thats what had me in tears that day.

I kept walking and walking eventually getting lost in my thoughts and therefore lost on the streets as well. Seeing as I was five blocks off as to where I shouldve been, I started walking the other way. Getting there soon enough, I pushed on the buzzer no answer. I waited a little while then pressed on it again no answer. I did this for about ten minutes before I got anything.

I muffled and gargled, Hello came out of the speaker.

Charlie? Hello? I waited.

What do you want? Who is this? he snapped after a minute.

Charlie, I have the rest of Fridays stuff and todays stuff. I waited and waited and waited for an answer, but again got nothing. Charlie?

What? he yelled. Come up! Come up! A minute later the door made a buzzing sound, I pulled it open, and hurried up the stairs just so I could hurry back out. I knocked on his door. Charlie? Its Danielle.

Alright! Alright! Stop movin so fast! he said as I heard him stumble to the door again, undo several locks, and then open the door. Hurry up. I wiggled through the door with what space he was providing. He closed the door without locking it and turned to me. Lets see what you got? he slurred.

I took the bag from out of my purse and went through it. I have todays stuff I put it on the table next to me. And then I have the rest from Friday. I set that on the small wooden table too. He stepped over to check everything.

Okay, okaybut what about the cocaine? Huh? Wheres my crack? You promised me crack last time, Danielle! his voice broke as if he were about to burst into tears.

Charlie, you didnt ask for anywe just planned on the normal!

Danielle! You said you would!

Charlie, no I didnt. I told you Id bring the rest from Friday and the normal for today.

God damn it! He slammed his fist on the frail table making it shake. Then he stormed out of the room and pushed a chair with a loud screech against the floor. Danielle! You bitch! You said you would! he screamed from the other room. He walked back towards me rubbing his face with both his hands. Alrightalright Get outta here.

Charlie, we go through this every time, you have to pay me.

Why should I do anything for you!? You screw me over all the time! Why should I have to pay you?!

Charlie, Ive never screwed you over.

What about Friday?! What about today?!

Charlie, youre asking for a lot more each time. I just needed to catch up. You need to realize, I dont just pull this shit outta my ass! I have someone that gives this to me before it gets to you. You know that.

Dont yell at me! You fucked up! Even if thats gone, even if that never happened Friday, you still screwed me over today!

Charlie, you didnt ask for coke Friday! Youve never asked for that! Its always heroin and acid, never coke!

You little bitch! You said you would! He pushed me.

Charlie, calm down. I can get it to you Tuesday. But you never asked for it Friday!

Danielle! You said youd bring it today! You lying bitch! He pushed me again, this time sending me against the wall.

Charlie Please, stop this. I promise, I can get it to you on Tuesday.

No! No Danielle! Im done with your bitchin! Get the fuck outta my sight! He grabbed me by my hair and pushed me out the door then slammed it shut.

God damn it, Charlie! I banged on the door with my fist. I freaked out a little in there, having memories of my mom flood my mind. But I was glad I was done with Charlie, he was always a pain in the ass, always giving me a hard time. But now he could find a new dealer because I was done.

I stood, leaning over the raining in the hallway taking a long drag on a cigarette when I realizethe bastard never paid me.

I figured I better leave it alone though, I didnt want any part of that anymore and dropping it was the best way of getting out of it. At the same time, I was losing a lot of money by just dropping it. But I had to look past that, I had to move on from this mess. I flicked the cigarette butt on the floor and stomped on it this place was a dump anyway.

I walked back down the stairs and pushed the glass door open. Somehow the sun had managed to set while I was in there, it was darker and cooler out than it had been before. The walk back to Hillels apartment seemed longer than it really was, giving me a weird feeling of nerves that were getting the best of me.

I had a strange feeling in me, but I couldnt quite tell what it was I was just glad I would be coming home to Hillel. I pushed the door open and a strange silence fell over the room. It was almost uncomfortable. Hillel? Im back, I called through the apartmentno answer. Hillel? Again, no answer. I continued toward the kitchen to get a glass of water figuring Hillel was in his room sleeping because he was tired. Id check on him after. I took a big gulp from the glass as I noticed I was beginning to shake. I placed the cup in the sink and then continued toward the bedroom ignoring the wobbliness in my body. As I placed my hand on the door, I thought I heard a noise from the other room. I took a step backwards out of the hallway and found nothing.

I walked forward pushing open the door. My heart stopped, my breathing stopped, and it felt like everything around me just stopped. I stared down at Hillels limp body on the floor along with several items sprawled out next to him they had been pulled with him as he had fallen along with the siring on the other side of him. I dropped to my knees and crawled toward him. Hillel I whispered in a shaky voice. Hillel, baby, just answer me. I propped him in my lap. Just talk to me, baby. Im right here, just talk to me. Its okay, just talk to me, Hillel. I pushed his hair off his forehead. Tears fell off my face and onto his.

Dont make this harder than it needs to be, Danielle.

I turned my head around with a quivering lip and saw a man with a pistol pointed straight at me. Charlie? I squeaked.

Shut up! I said dont make this harder than it has to be! A clicking sound came from the gun. You were being a stupid bitch, and this is what stupid bitches like you get!

Charlie, what are you doing?!

I said shut up!

I dont care! I sobbed. Take me! Just take me already! But dont hurt him! Dont touch him! Please, please, please Just do it already! Do it! Just do BANG!

My breathing began to increase as I turned and looked down at the front my bloodied shirt. It grew wetter and wetter, right in the center, but I wasnt dyingnot yet. I placed my hand over my stomach. I heard a clang, clumsy footsteps, and a door slamming. I looked up with an increasing pulse, then managed to lay down next to Hillel. And as I kept one hand over my stomach, I shakily grabbed his hand in my other. I closed my eyesand took my last breath.

A/N: It was painful writing this chapter, believe me it was. May his beautiful soul rest in peace.

Chapter Ten

Anthonys POV

I knocked on Hillels apartment door. Hey, Slim! I knocked one more time, but he didnt answer so I just walked right in. Hey! I yelled closing the door behind me. Wheres my Israeli Cowboy?! It was three in the afternoon, he wouldve been up by now and he wouldnt have gone anywhere. I wondered through the kitchen, into the bathroom, and through the living room. I then noticed a strange smell coming from Hillels bedroom. I hesitated to make my way to toward the most secluded room of the house. I didnt have to push the door, it was already wide open and I could see everything.

I attempted to take a deep breath, but the stench was just so horrible that I stopped as soon as I started. I backed away somewhat slowly and headed out of the building. I closed the door to my car and drove back to my own house. I grabbed a piece of paper and pen before I sat down at the kitchen table to scribble out a note. I then quickly got back in my car and drove off.

I knew where I was going, and I knew what Id be doing for the next couple day, but after thatI had no idea what Id be doing. I finally took that deep breath, but when I exhaled tears burst out as well. I banged on the steering wheel with my fist. Fuck

Anas POV

You like it? I asked motioning to my jacket. I was thinking of getting one for Dani.

Yeah, I think Dani would like that. I think shed like that a lot, Frank said closing the door behind him.

Anthony! I called through the house. God, he better not be getting screwed up. I roamed through the house looking for him.

Hey, Ana! Frank called out for me. Theres a note on the table!

I walked back to the kitchen and picked it up. It was from Anthony, it was his hand writingbut it was shakily written out. I sat down and read it to myself:

Hey Ana, Flea, Jack, whoever gets to this first, hey.

Ive left for a couple days, I wont be back for a while I need some time to myself. Hillel and Dani arent doing too well, at all. I wouldnt suggest you go to their apartment, I dont think youd want to see that. At least send someone over there to rightfully clean up the mess. Dont wait for me to get back for a gathering, because I wont be back in time anyway. Im sorry for leaving, but its what I feel is right for me right now.

Good luck,


Whats that supposed to mean I mumbled to myself.

Lemme see. Frank grabbed the paper from me. His eyes scanned over it quickly and then they went wide. Ana, we have to go. Now. He got up and ran out the door.

Why? I asked scared, but followed him. I didnt know where we were going and I didnt know why because Frank wouldnt talk the whole car ride. But we pulled up to Hillels apartment and he hurried inside as I followed after him. Frank, whats wrong? Whats going on?

We walked in the apartment and immediately Frank had confirmed his suspicions. As tears began to fall from his eyes he yelled out, Shit! Motherfuck! He scoured the entire floor eventually finding what he had been looking for, he slammed the door closed. Shitshit He choked on his tears and threw himself on the floor to a crouching position.

I slowly went to push the door open after Frank begged me not to. My lip quivered before a few tears slipped down my cheeks. I closed the door again and before I knew it I was sobbing just like Frank had been. I knelt down beside him and placed my arm around his back, but he pulled me into a tight hug. I held onto him. I could feel his body shake.

Gif: Anthony :c

Chapter Eleven: Part One

Kurts POV

I walked into a crowded room of people half of them I didnt even know, I only recognized some of them. I noticed blonde hair, big, sad, blue eyes, and a cute little nose towards the front of the roomand then an empty seat. I walked up slowly and sat down next to the girl. I set my hand on her back in attempt to settle her crying, but it instead startled her causing her to jolt her stare up at me.

Her tears kept falling in the same amount, but her breathing flattened out. Her lip quivered slightly before she reached out to touch my hair, and she started sobbing again. She threw her body into mine and I held her tight I couldnt help letting tears fall as well.

I cant believe you made it, she cried in a soft voice.

How could I not, Ana?

I thought that you wouldnt come

I closed my eyes. That broke my heart. Im always here for you, Ana And Dani and Hillel were really great friends of yours. Trust me, the twenty hour drive here was well worth it.

I love you so much, Kurt. She pulled out of my arms. Thank you.

Ana someone called her name. She turned around to face the man. He was one out of many that I didnt recognize, but he had long dark hair and scruffy chin.

You wanna go up with me? he asked her. Ana nodded. They stood up and he rested his hand on her back as they walked up to the wooden bed in front of them.

Ana placed her hand on top of the shiny wood and started to shake again. The man standing next to her fell to his knees while he rested his head on the side of the casket. She looked down at him and ran her hand down the back of his head over and over for comfort, but it was obvious that she needed some herself. I stood and got on the other side of Ana.

I was around death a lot growing up, but when it comes someone that youve known for a while and known well enoughits a little bit different. I immediately wiped away the tears from my face and looked back down at the wood enclosing the young girl. I wondered how she died, it must have been brutal if they couldnt even open the casket. But now wasnt the time to ask of course. What a shame

I wandered over to the neighboring casket and looked inside at the man. He really did grow into his looks. Ana and the other man walked over to me with a few straggling tears.

As we went to go sit back down, the man introduced himself to me as Frank.

Gif: Dani

A/N: Sorry for another sad chapter I promise it'll get better soon, but happy birthday Kurt!

Chapter Eleven: Part Two

Kurts POV

We all sat in Anthonys house around the kitchen table for dinner. Anthony wasnt there though. I didnt even notice him at the funeral. Ana sat down next to me with the rest of the group Frank and two other men.

Uh, Kurt. This is Mikey and Jack.

Oh please, call me Flea, Mikey said. Thats what all my friends call me. His then smile faded rather quickly. I nodded as Jack stayed quiet and pushed around the food on his plate. Everyone was generally quiet after that.

Everyone thanked Ana before they left and then she started to clean up the kitchen. You want any help? I asked.

No she shook her head. She took a deep breath. Im always the one cleaning up after everyone anyway. Im just glad Anthony isnt here, thered be twice the mess She tried to laugh it off, but there was obviously something bothering her.

Wellwhere is Anthony?

I dont know! she sniffled. For all I know he could be dead somewhere! All he cared to do was leave me a stupid note without a goodbye! Nothing! Im just worried about him! Hes so fucked up, and I wanna help! But he wont let me

Alright, you go sit down. I walked toward her position. Ill clean up. Just go relax. She threw her arms around my waist and buried her face in my chest. I rubbed her back and kissed the top of her head. Dont think about it too much. Thinking about it will only make it worse.

Picture: Kurdt Kobain

Chapter Eleven: Part Three

So I was thinking since Anthony isnt here we could just sleep in his bedor our bed, I guess, Ana said.

I dont know, Ana, I said. I dont really wanna sleep where you two havehad sexual relations.

She gave me a look.

What?! Dont you think thats kinda weird?!

Fine. She grabbed a bunch of pillows. Were sleeping on the couch.

Waitwe? Why we? You should go sleep in your bed. Ill sleep on the couch.

No way, she said. I have you here for one night. Im not gonna waste that. She finished setting up the living room then told me to relax and turn the television on, shed be right back. I did what she told me and sat there for a while before she came back and sat on the couch next to me. So look at you, she said with a smile and then tucked my hair behind my ear. You had to have died your hair, right?

Nope. I dont know what happened. It just kinda got really dark.

Did it just kinda get really long too?

I smiled a little and laughed then looked back up at her. Yeah it did.

She rubbed my chin with her pointer finger. And what about that? You just stopped shaving too?

I shave! Just not every day

You dont even shave every other day, do you?

I go a week. I shrugged. I dont know, just kinda whenever I feel like it.

She shook her head with a little smirk.

Thats kinda how it is back in Seattle. Nobodys like that here - in California everyones clean andhairless. And they actually leave their houses once and a while. Back in Seattle we dont really give care, we just sit around and do nothing but play music for a couple days. Listen to musicwrite musicand play it. I raised an eyebrow. Did you forget about your Seattle ways?

She laughed and shook her head again. No, it just slipped my mind I guess God, I miss it there.

You should come back. I reached my arm around her and she cuddled into me. We all miss you.

Yeah, wellI miss all of you too, and the city, and everything else about Seattle. California isnt my really thing. She wrinkled her nose.

Then you should come back.

But I cant leave Anthony She sighed and put her feet up on the couch. Well see

Picture: Antoine the Swan

Chapter Eleven: Part Four

Anas POV

I heard a loud bang and picked my head up startled at the noise. Still half asleep, I set my head back on Kurts shoulder and closed my eyes again thinking nothing of it. As soon as I got comfortable again, I heard more banging coming from the kitchen. I had been up long enough to figure things were being knocked over. I suddenly got really nervous. It was dark in the house and I couldnt see anything.

I cuddled in close to Kurt and started whispering for him to wake up. KurtKurt Wake up Kurt, please

He moaned and pulled me closer to him. Shhh Go back to sleep

KurtIm scaredplease wake up I started shaking him.

Ana he shoved his hand in my face, shhhh he groaned.

Kurt, wake up! I said louder than I intended.

Someone spoke my name, Ana? but it wasnt Kurt. I sat up, I knew the voice though. Ana, what the fuck are you doing? Just cause I leave for a couple days doesnt mean you start sleeping with some other guy!

I stood up, throwing the blanket back on the couch where Kurt was. What are you talking about?! You just ran out! And you didnt even say anything, you fucking asshole!

My brother just died, Ana! Sorry! I didnt take the time to think about how youd react to me leaving for a little while! Sorry!

Yeah! My sister died too, Anthony! You ever think about that!? Or do you just think about yourself all the time! And how could you not be at your own brothers funeral?!

Well, Ana FUCK! Sorry! But I was kind of dying too!

And I wasnt Antony?! Two of my best friends just died! And then you run away like some stupid teenager! I was fucking worried about you, Anthony! I was worried that youd never come back!

Yeah, alright. Just fuck off! He pushed past me and stumbled to the bedroom.

You cant just walk away from this, Anthony! I was now in tears.

I said fuck off!

You stupid son of a bitch! I dont know why I didnt leave you a long time ago you god damned bastard! You stupid asshole!

He slammed the bedroom door.

Ana Kurt came up behind me.

What?! What do you want?!

Ana, its okay. He pulled me into a hug whether I wanted it or not.

Kurts POV

She feel into my arms and sobbed, Why does he do this to me?! She threw her arms around me and squeezed. I didnt know what to say and everything that was going on was kind of weird because I just had woken up, so I just kept holding her tighter and tighter. Hes like this all the time now! And dont even have to do anything and he yells at me!

I attempted to get her to sit on the couch while I eventually succeeded, she still wouldnt let go of me. Ana please just calm down let me know whats going on.

She steadied her breathing and slowed her tears, but she still clung to my body as she explained, Hes so screwed up, almost as bad as Hillel was. Im just so worried that one day hell end up just like his best friend. I stopped doing that shit because Ive had enough of it, I couldnt take it anymore. It was doing more damage than help and I was hoping that it might encourage him to stop but he wont! He keeps doing the same shit even after his own brother just died from it!

GodI swear hes such a fucking idiot sometimes. But I love him too much, and thats the problem. I cant just let it go because I cant lose him even though I might as well already have. Im just scared and paranoid and annoyed and it all balls up until I eventually explode! She stopped for a second to take a breath, but then continued.

He not an asshole and hes not an idiot. He cant help it Hes addicted and its something neither of us can help I guess. But hes not even trying! And I cant help him if he doesnt want it.

Listen to me, Ana. I pulled her face to look up at mine. You just said it yourself, you cant help him if he doesnt want it. Just try to tough it out, kid. I know its not easy and I never want to see you like this ever. I wiped away some of her tears. But I know how much you love him. Youve been with him for more than five years now! Now Id love to tell you to just leave him and come back to live in Seattle, but Im not going to cause I know you wont listen to me.

She let out a giggle, but then sighed and nudged her way into me even more. I dont think Im gonna be able to go back to sleep tonight.

Its alright, Ana. Ill be here.

Gif: Frank

Chapter Twelve: Part One

Anas POV

Its been months since the fatal incident and I was finally somewhat getting my mind off of it. I was falling in love with this new Seattle band. I found their album in the really weird record store down town the guy that helped me was really nice too. While Anthony had been spending most of his time either getting high or sitting by Hillels grave or both at the same time, Id been listening to the album nonstop since I got it. It reminded me of the place and music that I loved so much.

Anthony came through the door jumping around. Ana! he yelled and then slammed the door. Anaaaaa! he called.

Im in the living room, Anthony! I called back as I leaned over the couch.

He looked over and spotted me, then ran over throwing himself over top of the couch to plop down next to me. Hi, Ana! He swung his arms around me and squeezed.

Hi, Anthony. I looked up at him smiling down at me.

Hey! After looking at me for a moment, he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. He kicked open the bedroom door and dropped me on the bed. I bounced as I landed causing a slight scream to escape. He crawled on top of me leaving trails of kisses up and down my body. Ana, I love you, he moaned and nuzzled into my neck.

I ran my fingers through his hair as he rested his head on my shoulder. I love you too, Anthony.

His eyes lowered to my torso. His hand reached for the first button on my shirt. As he continued, I could feel his heart beat against my stomachpounding, and pounding, and pounding. It was almost unnatural.

While he reached to take the shoulder of my sleeve off, I tilted his chin up toward me. Anthony, are you okay? I askedeven though I knew the answer. I knew what was going on, I knew what he was up to.

Yeah, Im fine. He smiled and then kissed me, but I could see the pain in this eyes. I knew he was miserable. He always tried to play off his crack highs like they used to be back when he first got out of high school when they gave him energy and make him full of life. But in reality, he was miserable. To get the same effect he used to, hed have to snort twice as much as he was with lines twice as thick. And I had no idea why he didnt because I knew he was willing to do that.


Why what? he mumbled.

Why do you do this to yourself? Why do you make yourself miserable? I stopped, Anthony. You can do it, trust me. Ill be with you every step of the way.

Its not that easy, Ana.

I never said it was easy. I said it was possible. Please?

I need it now more than ever. It replaces the pain

With more pain, Anthony?

A better pain though. He sighed, You knowthe drugs give me like a dying kind of pain, but when Im not using, itsits worse than a dying kinda pain. And I crave that dying pain feeling because its such a relief from the sober pain. He took a breath. And I dont even know if its because Im not using at the time or if its because of Hillel. I bet he knew what it was like.

You knowI dont know why you still stay with me, he continued, Im always such an asshole to you when Im fucked up.

That hurt me, in more ways than one. Just the fact that he felt that way hurt me, but it also hurt me because I knew I had to keep going with my motive. Well why dont you give it a try, Anthony? Ill be with you the whole time. You can get help. Youll feel so much better once its over, I can promise you that.

Ana, I cant! He stood up and started pacing around. I got up and grabbed a tissue from the dresser and handed it to him.

Your nose is bleeding.

He just stared down at my hand for a minute as he bit his lip and took a deep breath. He then grabbed it and held it to his nose.

Come on, I set my hand on his back. Go sit down. He went to sit on the bed and I left the room to get him a glass of water. I walked into the kitchen when there was a knock on the door. Its open! I called. I set the cup down for a second to try and button up my shirt in time.

Whoa there! Frank walked in the door way. Whats going on in here?

Oh, fuck off. Dont get yourself excited.

Sorry, youre the one with your shirt off.

Why are you here, anyway?

Wanna go out tonight? I just want to get my mind off things.

I dont know if I can. I really should be here to take care of Anthony.

Whats wrong with Anthony?

Well you should know, youre specialty is causing it.

Ana, dont joke like that. You know thats going to haunt me forever after what happened. Im done with all that. I guess I have to find some other guy to take over the business.

Sorry I took the glass of water and walked it back over to Anthony, but when I got there he was sleeping. I set the glass on his night stand, leaned over him, then played with his hair and whispered, Anthony?

He moaned a little and kept his eyes closed.

Do you mind if I go out tonight?

He shook his head.

Okay, Ill be back in a couple hours. I moved his hair to the side and kissed his forehead. Love you. I took the blanket from the chair in the corner of the room and spread it over him.

Love you, baby.

Picture: Ana

Chapter Twelve: Part Two

Anas POV

This whole experience had brought Frank and I closer. He was actually the only good friend I had down here. But because of what happened, we both learned to be there for each other. We were both so close to Dani but never really got to know each other all that well until what happened actually happened.

Now we sat on bar stools, laughing and drinking together. Shit! he yelled slamming his drink to the table. I love this song!

Really? I laughed.

Yeah! Who doesnt like Bruce Springsteen?!

He never did anything for me.

He stood up and held his hand out to me. Get up.

What Why?

Come on. Get up. Were dancing.

I look from him, to his hand, and back to him. I nodded a little then slammed my glass back on the counter. Fine! I took his hand and got up. We went to the middle of the room and he just kept spinning me around over and over again. Hey, Frank!

He stopped twirling me and grabbed my other hand then swayed back and forth. What?

I looked at him and started laughing. Were really drunk!

Yeah, I think so! he nodded with a smile.

Whoo! Were drunk!

Ana! he whined. Shut upyoull get arrestedfor disturbance of the peace, he mumbled.

You know what, Frank? Fuck the law! Fuck it, man! I dont know what happened after that to the point where I got back home but I was now walking through the front door. Bye, Frank! Bye! Buh-bye! Bye, Frank! I waved as he drove away.

I slammed the door behind me and stumbled to the bedroom. I saw Anthony sitting up on the bed and made my way over to him. Hey! Hey, Anthony. I got up really close to him and laughed. Hi.

Hey, he sighed.

Whats up your ass? I laughed again.

Nothing! Where the hell were you, Ana?

I told you I was going out! I stood back up but I still had a smile on my face.

You were with that jackass, Frank, werent you?! he yelled.

Yeah! I was! But hes a nice guy!

Yeah, hes real nice! He tried to steal Dani from Hillel and now hes trying to steal you from me!

Oh my god! Shut the hell up! I wasnt smiling anymore and the alcohol was starting to wear off. You dont know what youre talking about!

What?! Do you think Im drunk as hell like you right now?! You dont think I know what Im talking about?! Im not the one stumbling in here at two in the morning!

Youre not drunk, but youve probably been shooting up all night! Cause thats all you ever do! You get high and then you blame me for shit that doesnt even happen!

You know what?! He attempted to stand up but fell back on the bed, proving my point. Just get away from me! Get the hell out of here, you stupid bitch!

I just stared at him for a minute. You know its funny how youre the asshole, and Im the one who gets kicked out of the bedroom every night. Fuck you, Anthony. I slammed the door and started setting up my couchagain.

Picture: Frank

Chapter Thirteen

Anas POV

I was walking down town to the record store where I got that record from Seattle band. I pushed the door open and headed toward the front desk. Heyyy! Ryan!

Hey! Its my girl, Ana. Ryan was the boy who helped me at the store when I had bought the record and he was really nice. How ya been?

Ive been alright, you know, hangin in there. How about you?

Ive been pretty good. He leaned back in his spiny chair and set his feet up on the desk separating us. Just sitting around all day, listening to music, just doin whatever, man.

That seems like the life to me, I laughed. Hey listen, you got any more of that band you gave me last time?

Any Soundgarden records? Nah No I dont, theyre really new. Sorry.

I made a little face. Alrighty, thanks anyway I guess.

Wait, wait! I said I didnt have any records right now. But I did some researchand they are coming out with a new album soon. And with that album, theyre coming out with a real short documentary or something. Now I dont know when the albums coming out or when or where the documentarys gonna air, probably on MTV or some shit. But Ill keep you updated.

Really? I smiled big. Thank you so much, Ryan!

Anything for you. Ryan was about eighteen years old and I had a feeling he had a thing for me. Oh! And one more thing, I dont know if you want it but I got this poster.

Of Soundgarden?


Wow. I took it from him and opened it up. I never had posters growing up. How much?

Seven bucks.

Damn, that cheap Ill take it. I pulled out the money from my back pocket and paid him. Thanks, Ryan! Ill be back soon. I walked home with a huge smile on my face from the excitement of the item I never had as a teenager. It was weird because Ive always wanted a room full of posters with different bands all over them, but Ive never felt so strongly about a band to actually go out and buy a poster nor did I have the money.

But Soundgarden was something different, they only had one album out that nobody really knew of yet and I already loved them. Its like I have them all to myself especially since Im out in California and theyre a new Seattle band.

I hurried back to the house to show Anthony. I couldnt wait to see what he thought. Honestly, I felt like a teenager back in Seattle again, and that made me even happier.

I slammed the door and hurried to the bedroom with the same big smile on my face. I rolled it out and pressed it against the wall. I looked back at him and he gave me a look. What the hell is that? He raised an eyebrow.

Its my new poster! Remember that record I got?! Well this is the band! What do you think? I looked back up at the thick paper that I was holding up.

Why would you get that, Ana? He snickered at me and shook his head.

Well, just cause I really like them and Id at least like to know what they look like. Theyre a new band so they arent going to get in magazines or on TV or anything. I rolled it back up and set it on the dresser. I just thought it might be nice to have

And why would you think itd be going in here, huh? I dont want four pairs of fake eyes looking at me while Imdoing stuff in here.

Im sorryI just thoughtnevermind.

Ana, youre not a little kid. You dont need some stupid poster hanging on your wall to show your love for something. He looked over at me. Hey, are you crying?


Look at me! Are you crying? Over a poster? he raised his voice. Maybe you are a little kid, Ana! He got up and started pacing around while he threw is hands in the air complaining to himself.

Sorry, Anthony! I slammed my hand down on the bed. I was just kinda excited and you just crushed every single happy emotion that I had left! You do this all the time now! So thanks a lot! I stood up and stormed out of the room. I didnt know where I was going, I just didnt want to be around Anthony.

He chased after me though, wrapping his arms around my waist. Baby, come on, you know I didnt mean to hurt you. Im sorry that I made you cry.

Oh shut up, Anthony! I yelled and pushed my way out of his grip. I dont care about you or your stupid Beatles references even though they remind me of Kurt!

That one was actually just by John Lennon, but...

Shut up, Anthony! Just shut up! Shut the hell up!

Hey, Im actually trying to make things right this time.

Okay, thanks. Thank you so much. That now after almost a year of picking fights, youre finally going to own up to it! Thank you, Anthony!

You know what?! Fuck this! Fuck this and fuck you! He ran back in the bedroom and pulled drawers out of the dresser. When he finally found what he was looking for, he shoved it in his coat pocket and slammed the door leaving me to break down in tears. I couldnt stand this constant fighting anymore.

Anthonys POV

I didnt need that, I didnt need any of that! All I needed then were my drugs and Hillel, and at the moment I only had one of the two. I walked and walked and walked for a long time before I had reached the cemetery. I wandered around before I found Hillels grave stone. I stopped and stared down at it under my feet. Hey, buddy. I sat down still staring at it and reached into my coat pocket. I pulled my eyes away from the stone only to check and see if anyone was around before pulling out a little baggie that I had grabbed before I left.

Well, I said to Hillel, I got the stuff, but I have to talk to you first before getting fucked up. I waited a minute to see if he was there or not, but when I didnt get any certain feeling I just started without him. You know you were always there for me, Hillel. And once I needed you the most, you just leave me. What the fuck? Come, on! Im right here! Talk to me, man! Im right here! Where the fuck are you?! Im here! Im right here! I felt a lump in my throat. Come on! You like ignoring me?! Huh..?

Fuck I stood up and put my face in my hands. Shes gonna leave me. I threw my arms to my side and looked up to the sky as if Id find the answer written in the clouds. I know it! Shes gonna leave me! Im trying to keep her! Im really trying now but she doesnt see it!

I could just hear him saying, Well stop being an asshole you dumb ass! And then hed smirk at me. Then Id look at him desperate for a real answer and hed just laugh. Come on, man, hed say, you were always smarter than me in school. You were smarter than most kids for that matter! You can figure it out, trust me. Just start actually using your brain instead of letting it sit there to rot.

I sighed and wiped my face with my hands. Alright, I sniffed and dropped the bag in the grass. Guess I wont be needing much of that anymore

Picture: Flea, Hillel, and Anthony because throwback

Chapter Fourteen

Anas POV

Frank and I were walking around the city and I was telling him about Anthony and how he said he was going to quit. Good for him! Frank said. Good luck with that though.

Yeah, I know its probably going to be hell.

Youre a strong girl, youll make it.

Yeah, wellits not about me, now is it? I sighed. Hey, lets stop in here really quick. I walked into my record shop. Hey, Ryan.

Hey, A- he cut himself off, whos this?

This is my friend, Frank. Frank, this is Ryan.

Your friend? Just your friend?

Yes, Ryan. Just my friend. You know Anthonys my boyfriend.

He cringed when I said that and I laughed a little.

You got anything new?

Yeah, Soundgarden came out with their new album. Im pretty sure its called Louder Than Love.

Ooh, lemme see!

He handed me the record.

I jumped up and down. Yay! Thank you so much, Ryan.

Theyre coming out with that documentary pretty soon too. Dont ask how I know this shit cause it aint easy getting it. They also have a couple music videos out between the two albums, they should be floating around MTV somewhere. Seven bucks, by the way.

Alright. I pulled out the money and handed it to him. Thank you again.

Yeah, yeah. Dont mention it.

Frank and I left and he nudged me playfully. Looks like you got someone crushing on you, he laughed.

Yeah, I know, I laughed. Hes a sweet kid though. Hes real nice.

Hey, he said, off topic, I feel like Ive seen that jacket before.

This one? I asked tugging on mine, as he nodded. Well, it was Danis so

Picture: Ana

Chapter Fifteen

Ana! Ana! Ana! Ana! Ana! Anthony ran in the house screaming and yelling. Anaaaa!

I hurried to meet him in the front hallway. What? What? What?

I think we found a new guitar playerfor good this time.

Really? I asked, trying to act excited.

Yeah! His name is John and hes really fucking good! He knows all our songs and hes only eighteen!

And you think youre keeping him?

Yeah, Flea recommended him actually. Why? He still had a huge smile on his face.

I dont know Its just kinda weird cause hes not Hillel, you know?

Yeah, I guess. I dont know. Im only twenty-six, Im not stopping now. He sighed. We still need a drummer though. I cant believe Jack just left like that. But hey, what am I gonna do? One down, one to go.

Picture: the soon to be new Chili Peppers: Flea, Chad, John, and Anthony

Chapter Sixteen

Anas POV

Anthony was doing pretty good with his addiction, and on top of that we hadn't gotten in a fight in about a month or so - that's a record.

I was getting dinner ready which I didnt usually do, but I figured why not. I had MTV on in the other room with the volume turned up pretty loud so I could hear it from the kitchen. Although it was really late that night, I was still hungry and I didnt really eat dinner so again I figured why not.

I was in the middle of frying chicken in a pan when I heard a familiar song coming from the television. I ran to sit down on the couch and listen to the band that I now knew as Soundgarden. It was the music video to Loud Love and it was on their new album. I didnt expect to hear any Soundgarden on MTV but I was glad that I did, it made me really happy for some reason maybe because my favorite band was being recognized, but then again I liked having them all to myself.

However, that was the only Soundgarden song that I got that night. I sighed and smiled a little bit as I watched the screen. My thoughts were interrupted by a door slamming. Ana! What the fuck are you doing?!

I turned around and looked at Anthony through a big cloud of smoke. He started swatting at the air around him. Shit I got up and ran to the kitchen. Aaaand the chicken was burnedreally burned. So much for making dinner. I cleaned up the mess in the kitchen a little bit before going to find Anthony.

He was standing in the living room staring at the TV and as if he could sense my presence he asked, Is this whats got you distracted? He turned around. You almost burned down the house fucking over this?!

I just walked away for two seconds! It wasnt going to burn the house down!

Fucking excuses! Thats all I get from you! If youre so wrapped up in this son of a bitch, he yelled and pointed back at the television screen, then why dont you get outta here and go live with him! Youre obviously more interesting in them than you are me anyway!

I just stared at him for a minute. You know what, Anthonymaybe I will. If thats what you really want, Ill leave. Ill fucking leave tomorrow if you really want me to.

You know what?! Fuck you! Dont even give me that shit! You wont fucking leave me! Youre too scared! You wont do it! He turned around and headed to the bed room.

He slammed the door as I yelled, Fuck you, watch me!

Anthony telling me to leave got me upset of course, but it got me even more upset to know that we had broken our not-fighting streak which also led me to think that he was going back to his drug use

Picture: Anthony

Chapter Seventeen

Anas POV

Chris? I asked over the phone.

Yeah. Ana? Whats up?

Can I Can I talk to Kurt really quick?

Uh actually, hes in the middle of moving.

Moving? I asked confused.

Yeah, Im moving into my own place as soon as I find something too.

Ohis everything okay?

Yeah, no everythings great. Kurts mom is kicking him out and I should probably get outta my moms basement sooner or later. Thats all. So Im just helping Kurt move for now. I was actually just going to head over to his place now. Ill tell him to call you if you want.

Yeah, thatd be great. Thank you so much Chris.

Yeah, no problem.

I hung up the phone and waited a couple minutes before it rang. I picked it up almost immediately. Hello?

Hey, Ana, Kurt said. Chris told me you wanted me to call you.

Yeah. Ive been thinking about this a lot and Im going to be moving back up to Seattle. For real this time, Im not just saying that. I bought a plane ticket and Im going to be coming up tomorrow.

Aare you serious?


Why?? What happened? Are you okay??

Yeah, Im fine, I smiled a little at his concern. I missed him too much. Ill explain to you when I get up there, alright? Can you pick me up from the airport tomorrow at noon?

Yeah, sure! Did you tell your mom already?

Yeah I did. She said you better bring me right home.

Alright, okay. Fair enough.

Thanks so much, Kurt. I miss you, see you tomorrow. I hung up and took a deep, shaky breath. Just then Anthony came out of the bedroom and walked up to me. I was going to cry, I couldnt do this. He kissed my cheek and I just broke down in tears.

He looked down at me confused. Whatwhats wrong?

Anthony, Im moving back to Seattle, I cried.

Whawhat? his voice cracked. Why? Ana He was going to start crying too, I knew it. I could see it all over his face.

Im sorry! But I cant take it anymore, Anthony! The constant fighting drives me crazy! And you lied to me.

What are you talking about, Ana?! Id never lie to you! He started crying, I knew it. I knew that would happen, and it killed me.

You started using again, Anthony! Dont lie to meI know you did. I shook my head. Dont lie to me again.

He was silent for a minute before he said, Alright I did. I started again, but dont leave, Ana. You dont have to leave, you really dont. Please, Ana!

I already bought the plane ticket, Anthony! I cant stay here anymore, its tearing my apart! I love you so much, but I just cant do it anymore.

Ana, please! he collapsed on top of me. He held onto me really tight. Dont leave me, Ana I couldnt say anything back, I just clung to his body. Is there anything I can say to make you stay?

No, Anthony, I have to go.

Please, Ana? Im your money supply, Im the roof over your head. What are you going to do? Where are you going to go?

Anthony, dont worry about me. Worry about yourself, take care of yourself. You need to do that before try to take care of someone else.

He squeezed me before pulling away. I saw the streaks running down the sides of his face as he looked down at me. Please stay He blinked out a few tear drops.

I wiped them away with my thumbs. I cant. Please dont cry.

Well when are you leaving?

I hesitated to answer, Tomorrow morning. My flight leaves at nine-thirty.

Well, what the fuck are we doing?!


Ana, if youre leaving me tomorrow for good, I want to spend as much time with you from now until then as possible.

Thats another reason why Im leavingyou never really spend any time with me anymore

He looked down. Ana then he looked back up at me, Im sorry. Im so sorry.

Yeah, I couldnt focus my eyes on his, so am I.

He was quiet for a minute. Well, can I at least make our last night together memorable?

I looked down and again hesitated to answer as I shook my head. I dont think that would be such a good idea. I looked back up at him and watched his face sink as he fought back more tears. Im sorry. I have to go finish packing

Picture: Ana

Chapter Nineteen: Part One

Anas POV

The flight to Seattle was the longest two and a half hours of my life. But now that we were finally landed, I was eager to get off. However all the passengers still had to wait for everything to get settled and in place before anyone could actually exit. I sat there for about ten minutes and gathered my things before they let us leave.

I grabbed my bag and hurried to pass the other people on the plane my seat wasnt exactly in first class so that didnt help with getting to the front. While I finally wiggled my way through, the gate doors werent open yet and I suddenly had a million questions and worries flood my mind.

What if Kurt forgot? What if he didnt wake up in time and he wasnt here yet? I knew how he liked to sleep in. What if he was actually angry at me and he wasnt coming to pick me up?!

The door then opened, interrupting any answers that might have come to me. People pushed past me, getting rid of my head start at making my way to the front of the crowd. I eventually followed the rest of them, and searched frantically for Kurt.

It was pretty easy to spot him once I heard, Hey, Ana! I turned my head in the direction of the voice and saw Chris jumping up and down and waving to me. I smiled and almost cried. I ran over to them, dropped my bag, and threw myself at Kurt. I felt him stumble backward slightly. Are those happy or sad tears? Chris asked.

I managed to pull off of Kurt and hug Chris. Happy tears. I think you got taller, Chris.

Yeah, he laughed, probably.

Daves POV

I had come to the airport with Kurt and Krist to pick up their friend. I was new in the band and I had no idea what was going on, but I figure tagging along would be more interesting than sitting alone in Kurt apartment all day.

Kurt and Krist had brought flowers for her (I dont even remember her name, but I kind of wanted to know it now) and Kurt handed them to me to hold when she had arrived.

The girl was still paying attention to the two other guys though. I havent seen you in years, she said to Krist. Youre so handsome, look at you! Then she turned to Kurt again. And you grew up even more since the last time I saw you.

When she finally noticed me, she asked, Whos the cutie? She looked right at me and I just froze, I didnt know what to say or do so I just shoved the flowers in front of me. She laughed a little and took them. Are these for me?

Yeah, Kurt said. And uh, thats Dave. Hes our new drummer.

What happened to Chad? she asked.

You never knew Chad!

I just read it on the back of the album. And what about that other guy?

Jason? Hes in a different band now. Umm what was it called, Krist?

Something about a garden. Krist shrugged.

Soundgarden! she yelled. Oh my god, really?! Theyre my favorite band!

Yeah, thats it! I dont know much about them, Krist said.

Okay, well we should be getting you home, Kurt said. Youre moms going to kill me if she doesnt see you soon.

Picture: Dave :D

Chapter Nineteen: Part Two

Anas POV

On the drive home, Kurt and I sat in the front and Chris and Dave sat in the back. Okay, I said, question.

Yeah? Kurt said.

Why do you guys say Chris name with a t at the end now?

Well thats his name, Kurt said.

Wouldnt that be Christ though?

Story time! Chris leaned in between our seats. So in high school everyone called me Chris, right? And thats what you know me by. But my birth name is actually Krist, K-R-I-S-T, and I changed it to Chris just cause I thought it would be easier but now I changed it back to Krist.

So what do I call you? I asked. Chris or Krist?

He leaned back in his seat. Whichever, he shrugged.

Kurt pulled into my moms driveway andKristgrabbed my suitcase. I adjusted my bag on my shoulder and gripped the bouquet of flowers tighter as I pushed open the door. My mom immediately ran to hug me as if she knew Id be walking in the door at that minute.

Ana! She squeezed me tighter and tighter before pulling away from me.

Dont cry, mom!

I havent seen you in years, Ana!

Well Im here to stay, now. Promise. I smiled at her.

She smiled back at me and then looked over at Kurt and Krist. Thank you guys for picking her up.

Anytime, Ms. Bertoli, Krist said with a grin.

Oh! And mom, this is Dave, I said, pointing to the tall skinny boy with bleached hair.

Hello, Dave.

He smiled shyly and waved. Krist laughed at him a little and punched his arm.

Daves POV

Krist, can you bring my bag up to my room for me? Ana asked.

I think Dave should do it. He smirked at me and I gave him a look.

I dont care, just one of you do it please. She started walking up the staircase.

Come on, Dave! Krist threw the bag at me.

Kurt slapped my back twice. Thanks, buddy. Then he pushed me toward the stairs as I looked back at them desperately. Kurt smiled a little and as I started to walk upstairs he said, Its alright, Dave. Youre new, we get to fuck with you.

Kurt Donald! Ana mom snapped. Language, please.


When I reached the top of the staircase, Anas door was right there in front of me wide open. I didnt realize it, but I was just standing there staring at her for a while.

Oh! Hey, Dave. You can just put it down wherever, thanks for bringing it up for me.

I walked slowly into her room. Yeah, no problem, I laughed. Somehow, when I set it down, the bag managed to pop open causing everything, including all her clothes, to spill out. Oh, oh god! Im sorry! My eyes landed on her underpants. Oh jeez! Okay, Im not looking! I stood up straight and put my hands over my eyes.

I just heard Ana laughing at me. Its fine, Dave. It really isnt a big deal. She sighed. I had to empty it out anyway. Just leave it.

I turned around and peaked through my fingers. She was putting away some records before she walked past me, rubbed my shoulder a little, and then walked out the door. I took a deep breath while pulling my hands away from my face then followed her back down stairs. Kurt and Krist were sitting in the living so I decided to join them while Ana fled to the kitchen to catch up with her mom.

As I sat down, Kurt and Krist looked at each other and then at me with stupid grins on their faces. What? I asked.

They just started laughing at me. Howd it go up there? Kurt asked.

Yeah, Krist added, you alright? You looked pretty terrified going upstairs.

I think my faced turned red, it certainly felt like it. All I could say though was, Yeah, everythings fine.

They laughed more before Ana walked in and sat down next to me. Kurt and Krist both turned quiet and just stared at the two of us. As she got situated in her seat, Kurt finally quit the act and asked, So whats up with you and Anthony?

Without thinking, I asked, Whose Anthony? Kurt and Krist attempted to suppress their laughs this time.

Ana didnt seem to notice them or the urgency in my voice when she answered with, Heshes nobody...

Hes nobody? Kurt nearly yelled snapping back to a serious attitude. You spend ten years of your life with nobody?

She took a deep annoyed breath. Kurt, she said in a firm voice as she glared up at him.

Sorry He leaned back in his arm chair and crossed his arms. Are you at least going to tell us what happened?

Uhwell, there isnt much to tell really. He got fucked up too much, blamed me for everything, and started every fight that he could. So I made the decision to leave.

Damn Kurt shook his head. I remember when we were in high school and you two would spend all of your fucking time together. Every fucking chance you got. He chuckled a little then bit his lips together.

Ana stood up. Okay, well lets actually do something instead of talking about how horrible the past couple years have been for me, alright?! She again fled to the other room.

We were all quiet for a minute until Krist joked, Alright, Dave, you go talk to her.

Kurt glared at him.

Not the right time?

Kurt shook his head and rolled his eyes.


Just for that, I said, you should have to go talk to her, Krist.

Kurt got up and left the room annoyed with the both of us. Krist looked over at me and said sarcastically, Well god, Dave! Its not funny when you do it!

Picture: more of blonde Dave

Chapter Twenty

Daves POV

Kurt, Krist, and I were walking around town hoping to find some place to eat. I was looking through shop windows as Kurt and Krist talked about some stuff that I wasnt really listening to. Hey! I said as something caught my eye in one of the windows. Isnt that the band that Ana really likes?

Yeah, I think so, Kurt said. Soundgarden?

Yeah I stared at the paper taped to the window in the music store. They were having a concert just down the street in about a week.

You should take her, Krist said and nudged me.

Should I?

Yeah, man!

Umm, I dont want my sister in a mosh pit with a bunch of drunk, horny guys! Kurt protested.

Aw please Kurt! I begged. Shell be with me! Ill take care of her. I wont drink, Ill keep her safe. I promise!

He thought for a minute. Fine, but I swear if anything happens to her

Kurt, I promise. Ill take care of her.

Picture: Kurt and Krist c:

Chapter Twenty One: Part One

Kurts POV

I switched on the television and then slouched down on Anas couch as Dave sat down in one of the arm chairs. Her mom had to have bought this house in the late 60s and I could tell because shed never bought new furniture. MTV was on. I didnt really care for it, but I didnt really feel like getting back up to change the channel.

Ana! I yelled as I stared at the TV.

I heard footsteps on the stairs and then felt her hands on top of my head. Yes?

Isnt this Soundgarden? I asked nodded at the screen.

Ugh god. Yes, it is. She let go of my hair and leaned over the back of the couch. Just look at him!

Which him? I asked making a face at the way she said that.

The singer! she said as if it were obvious. Theres just this hugesexual tension that he gives off! I dont know what it is but it drives me crazy.

Okay, you should go back upstairs.

Fine. She snickered at me. Dave, Ill be down in a minute and then we can go.

He nodded as she hurried back up stairs. I turned to Dave as he leaned back in the chair. Whats that all about? I asked staring at him. Why do you always act so weird around her? Shes no different than us, trust me, she really doesnt care. You dont need to put on any act for her, shes not like that.

I dunno, he shrugged.

Waitdo you actually really, really like her?

He looked down at his lap and smiled a little. I dunno.

You do, dont you? I thought we were all just joking around! But you really do! I laughed a little. You like my sister! You like my sister! You like Dave jumped on me and slapped his hand over my mouth as Ana entered the room. He was practically straddling me with his hands all over my face.

Whatare you two doing?

Dave looked up at her and I attempted to do the same. Nothin Dave fell back onto the couch next to me.

Yeah, just hangin out, I mumbled.

Alright Dave, are you ready?

Yeah, his face lit up, lets go.

Damn, this cheesy little shit actually had a thing for Ana!

Picture: Dave, the "cheesy little shit"

Chapter Twenty One: Part Two

Daves POV

As we walked into the small venue, a big man stamped each of our hands instead of us giving him a ticket like we would at a big arena. The place was already packed and trying to squeeze up to the front was pointless. Ana tugged on my t-shirt sleeve a little and smiled up at me. You know Ive never done this, she spoke over the crowd.

I smiled a little. Youre gonna have fun. Just be careful. Just as I finished my sentence, everyone got quiet as a man stepped up to the microphone.

Ladies and gentlemen! he growled, even though Ana was one of the few ladies there. The scene consisted of mostly men and I wasnt surprised. Please welcome, preforming in their home city tonight, Soundgarden!

The crowed screamed, and then became silent again when the drummer started banging on the bass and snare. Ana turned to me and screamed, Fuck! I love this song! A man with long black hair and a beard started up a guitar riff and the bass player rolled in while the front man stomped around on stage swinging his hair around. As he wailed out the first note, I realized I wasnt going to be getting much attention tonight. Anas eyes were glued to the already sweaty front man.

I was surprised and impressed to see Ana keeping up with the mass crowd squished together. She was jumping around and wouldnt let anybody push her over. She was doing great for her first time in a mosh pit.

Even when the song ended, the sea of people didnt stop moving. But a lot of guys started screaming their head off and cheering. Thank you, the singer said quietly into the microphone while he smirked and played with the wire. He didnt talk to way he sang. That was uhSmokestack Lightning He was breathing heavily as he looked around the room. It was uhoff our first album, he was quick to add, if you didnt know or if you even care. He smirked again then they started up a new song.

I had to admit, the band was pretty damn good. I just wasnt thrilled about how good looking the singer actually was though. I looked over at Ana and the huge smile she had on her face. If one thing was for sure, I put that there I mean, I was the one who brought her here so I had no problem taking credit... Someone smacked into me, knocking my thoughts back to the music. I started jumping up and down with the rest of the crazed fans and decided to just enjoy myself.

I began throwing my head around, letting my hair hit against my face and the back of my neck. The singers voice faded out with the last note plucked on the guitar. I threw my head up to get my hair out of my face and cheered with the rest of the group.

I looked to my right with a big smile expecting to see Ana. Instead of my eyes settling upon the beautiful girl that I came here with, I caught the sight of a big, tall, sweaty man. He glared over at me. I smirked sheepishly. Hehsorry. I was looking for someone else.

As he turned away I looked to my other side and saw a younger boy trying to keep up with the crowd, but not Ana. I glanced behind myself and then back in front, but I still didnt see Ana and it was then that I began to panic. I just lost Kurts sister in a mosh pit

Not only did I diminish my chances of ever being with her, but I was probably out of the band after this if I didnt find her. My eyes darted all over the room in a frantic search for the short blonde. I pushed through the crowd looking for her but she was nowhere to be found. As I neared the front of the crowd, I saw Ana out of the corner of my eye.

But my relief didnt come so easy. The singer was turning his back to the mass of peoplehe was looking behind over his shoulderhe was checking the crowd. He was about to stage dive with Ana right below. I wasnt just screwed, I was fucking dead

Son of a I muttered before the tall man jumped backwards and let the sea of people support his weight as he continued to sing unsteadily. After they had their moment, the crowd pushed him back up on stage and he got right back to flipping his hair around and stomping around before even regaining his balance.

I hurried over to Ana and grabbed onto her arm. She quickly turned around to look at me with the same bright smile that she wore the entire night. Did you see that?! she yelled while we both got pushed around. I touched his ass! She turned back around and continued swaying to the music.

Only after she said that was I able to breathe again.

Picture: Chris Cornell, the beloved front man of Soundgarden, because sex.

A/N: We should all thank Amanda for helping me with this chapter!!

Chapter Twenty Two

Kurts POV

Krist, Dave, Ana, and I all sat in my little apartment. Kurt, Ana said with slanted eyebrows. Your hair is different again.

I dyed it, I said, a while ago actually. Its blonde again.

You were a blonde baby, how did your hair just turn brown?

I dunno, I shrugged. Your hair is getting darker though.

Is it? She grabbed the tips of her hair and held them in front of her face.

Yeah, looks good.

She looked up at me with her eyes and smiled a little, then dropped her hair.

So, Krist said, I never got to hear about your concert.

Oh my god, Krist! Ana yelled. It was amazing! She leaned against Dave, who was sitting next to her. She had grown close to him pretty fast. It was the best night of my entire life.

Dave smiled a little to himself, but Ana leaned her head back to look up at him catching his smile. Thanks, Dave. She smiled up at him and then turned around to kiss his cheek. Then she leaned back up against him.

He smiled even more. No problem, Ana Right as he was about to reach his arm around her, she sat up. He frowned a little, and I took a sip of my beer to hide my smirk.

Krist, I really like your hair short like that, she said looking over at him.

Yeah? he asked, ruffling his own hair.

Yeah, she said back. And I like your uh she rubbed her jaw with her thumb and pointer.

He copied her actions and touched the hair on his jaw. Thanks. He smiled that cheesy smirk of his.

Ana leaned back again and pulled her legs up on the couch as she rested her head on Daves shoulder.

Well, I said sleepily, Im going to bed. I stood up and opened the door to my left. I dont really care what you guys do, stayleavejust dont make a mess, I joked, then let the door creek semi-shut before I took my flannel and jeans off. I kept my t-shirt on and got in bed.

Getting comfortable under my blankets and on top of my pillows with my eyes closed, I heard a creekthe same one that I heard when I closed my door.

Except when I opened my eyes the door was open and saw Krist standing in the door way. What do you want, Krist? I mumbled.

Im tired too, he said.

And you want to sleep in my bed?


Fine I rolled over onto the cold slide of my bed. A moment later, Krist was in my bed. It was big enough for us to squeeze in together, but that was it.

Anas POV

I wonder what theyre doing in there, I said.

Yeah, Im gonna go check on them, Dave said getting up and walking into Kurts bedroom. Whatre- oh he say, then the door closed behind him. I sat there for a moment before going in to see what was really going on. I pushed the door open and saw Dave, Kurt, and Krist all cuddled up in the same small bed.

I smiled down Kurt and Dave wrapped up in Krists arms. They were all squished together, passed out.

Picture: Dave and Krist (also the inspiration for this chapter)

Chapter Twenty Three: Part One

Anas POV

I had been thinking of Anthony a lot recently since I left California, but it was just hitting me really hard now. I let a few tears roll down my the sides of my face but told myself to get over it and flicked the television set on instead.

It was just my luck that MTV was on and guess what? The Red Hot Chili Pepperss new music video for Knock Me Down was on. Great At first I just stared at the screen and rolled my eyes at their new guitar player. And then I saw Anthony and the way he interacted with the new member and how it was just so normal for him already. It made me sick to know that he could embrace someone new that quickly after what hed been through.

As I listened to his voice and watched him jump around on the television screen, it started getting to me in heavier emotion. Tears began to fall quicker and before I knew it, I was sobbing and blowing my nose into anything I could find on the coffee table in front of me.

A knock on the door frightened me and shook my out of my messy state of mind and presence. I figured it was Kurt so I cleaned myself up quickly and answered. I was right and Dave was standing behind him. I looked behind them at Krist hanging out the front window of their van. Hi, Ana! he waved making me laugh a little. The three of them had that kind of effect on me.

Hi, Krist! I waved back. I guess Kurt could tell I was crying because he asked me what was wrong. I shook my head and smiled to reassure him. Nothing, Im fine.

You sure?

Im fine!

Okaywell, uh he stuttered. I was just wonderingumdo you have a dress I could borrow by any chance?

I slanted my eyebrows. What do you need a dress for?

I justI Were preforming soon and

I waved my hand in front of my face. Nevermind I dont know. I might have something. Come on Shoes off, I just cleaned in here! Dave and Kurt kicked their sneakers off and then hurried to catch up with me. I flicked the lights on in my room and pushed open my closet then flipped through some clothes. GodI dont know. I turned to Kurt. Pick your arms up.

He gave me a weird look but did it anyway. I reached my hands inside his unbuttoned shirt. I felt around his waist as he squirmed. Stop it! he yelled. That tickles!

Sorry, I laughed then continued with my investigation. Youre skinny, I can probably find something thatll fit you. I sighed, I dont know if I have anything If you havent noticed, I dont usually wear dresses. Maybe my mom has something, though. She walked to over to the next room over and looked through her mothers closet.

So this is your moms room Dave questioned. Wheres your mom?

At work, she works a lot. She works too much. I pulled out a floral printed dress. Will this work? I think its the only thing that I have.

He took it. Yeah I guess so.

The only thing is, I dont want you just taking it without her knowing. And she doesnt get home until really late tonight. When are you guys playing? I asked, now leaving my moms room.

Tomorrow night.

Cool, you wanna stay over?

Yeah, but uh, Krist has been in the car this whole time so I should probably go get him

I laughed at Kurt. We walked back down stairs and saw Krist sitting in the living room, leaning over the couch. Thanks for coming back for me, guys!

I messed up his hair as I walked by. Its all their fault, blame them. I sat down next to him as Dave sat in one of the cushioned chairs. I didt see Kurt sitting with us but eventually felt his hands on my shoulders.

He moved his head down next to mine to whisper, Hey, can I talk to you in the other room?

I nodded. Yeah. I picked myself up off the couch and followed Kurt into the other room. Whats up?

Are you sure youre alright? he asked pulling me into the hallway.

Yeah, Im fine. I promise.

Dont lie to me. He looked down at me.

Im not! Im fine, look!

He shook his head. Will you at least tell me what was bothering you before?

I averted my eyes from his. It was nothing, I mumbled.

Dont. Lie. To me.

Fine! You wanna know so bad? I was thinking about Anthony, okay? I just turned on the TV and the Chili Peppers were on! Sorry if I didnt want to think about it anymore!

Krists POV

Dave and I made our way to the staircase quietly and stood behind the wall listening to Kurt and Anas conversation. Ana started yelling at Kurt and then they both got quiet before he said, Sorry. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I just worry too much about youstill.

Whos this damn Anthony guy? Dave whispered.

I waved my hand in his face to keep him quiet as we started to hear Ana crying.

Kurts POV

I pulled Ana into my arms.

Im sorry, she sobbed.

Dont apologize. Im the one that made you talk

She pulled herself away from me and started to wipe off her cheeks. She took a deep breath and looked up at me with a little smile. Im fine now, I promise. Im fine.

She never broke like that. She never really cried at all, but this guy was driving her crazy. I wish shed just forget him already. And its not even that he was a bad guy, he treated her good up until the last couple years of their relationship - as far as I know at least. Ana was a strong girl, but the whole thing was destroying her.

You sure youre okay? I asked finally.

Yeah, Im fine. Im fine. I just need toget over him. She smiled a little at me again but then looked away. I promise, Im fine.

I sighed, I hope so. I headed back out to the living room, but saw Krist and Dave pushing each other and fighting to get back to their former positions from when we had left.Dave jumped back into the arm chair as Krist attempted to hop over the couch but ended up tripping himself and falling over the couch instead. He finally situated himself and looked back at us.

Hey, guys, whats up? Krist said casually.

We all saw that, Dave said bluntly.

Yeah and we both saw that whole thing, Ana said. I dont really care if you guys know. Its not a big deal. She sat back down next to Krist as I sat in the other chair. Poor Dave must be really confused.

Dave jumped right into asking, Yeah so whos Anthony?

He doesnt even know who Anthony is? God, you guys dont tell him anything. Ana moved over on the couch and then motioned for Dave to come sit next to her. So Dave, she began, Anthony is my ex, and uh, we were together for about ten years. We were living together in LA for a long time but we started to fight a lot so I decided to leave. He wouldnt stop getting screwed up all the time and he started lying to me about it so She looked up at him and shrugged.

Well I dont do that shit Ana, he said with no hesitation, I dont do anything of that. Trust me, I dont. I occasionally go out for a drink and smoke but thats it! And I would never fight with you, ever. And I would never lie to you either.

She laughed at him. Thanks, Dave. She cuddled up next to him.

Picture: Kurt

Chapter Twenty Three: Part Two

Anas POV

I heard a door slam and sat up startled - that sound made me crazy every time I heard it. I squinted my eyes in the dim light of television and looked around the room. Kurt was passed out in the arm chair with his head hanging back and his mouth half open. I looked up over and saw Krist passed out on the far side of the couch. I then saw legs sprawled out over Krists lap and traced them with my eyes back up to Dave who was cuddled up against my body.

I tried to sit up but he clung to my arm. I attempted to nudge him off. Dave, I moaned tiredly. Dave.

He groaned back and let my arm go, but wrapped his arms back around my body and nuzzled his head into my shoulder.

Dave! I groaned.

Ana? I heard my moms voice. Ana what are you guys doing down here?

We all just fell asleep, I guess.

Kurt stirred in his chair, then his head bobbed and he sat up. Whats going on? he nearly yelled.

What the fuck Krist groaned picking his head up.

Sorry, guys, my mom said and she went to go flick the lights on in the kitchen - but Dave was still sleeping.

Look at him, Kurt said sleepily with tired eyes and a slight smirk.

I know, I smiled down at Dave and moved his hair behind his ear. He wont wake up and hes practically glued to me. It was annoying but he was too cute.

Now that youre all up, my mom said walking back in the room, do any of you want anything to eat?

Im pretty sure were all just gonna go back to sleep, I said looking at the boys closing their eyes again. Oh! But can Kurt borrow one of your dresses?

Yeah, of courwait, why?

I dunno. Theyre performing tomorrow and he wanted

Yeah alright, whatever, just dont ruin it. She walked out of the room and went back to what she had been doing before. I looked over at the clock on the wall that was being illuminated by the kitchen light. It was two in the morning and my mom was just getting home from work, I felt horrible. I wish I couldve at least helped her.

I tried to get settled back on the couch but every time I tried to move Dave just held onto me tighter, not letting me move.

Daves POV

I woke up with Ana in my arms. It was so weird, I had this dream that my mom kept trying to leave but I wouldnt let her. I guess I was just really homesick and missed her too much, but it felt so real.

Picture: the mama's boy with his mama

Chapter Twenty Four: Part One

Anas POV

I stood backstage with Kurt, Krist, and Dave at the very small venue. This was their last performance before they started to slow down to record their second album. Like Kurt said he would, he was wearing my mothers dress.

This doesnt seem like its the first time youve done this, I said as I watched him throw his guitar over his shoulder.

It isnt, he shrugged. I used to wear dresses all the time but then Tracy left and I had no where to get them.

You and Tracy broke up? I asked shocked.

He chuckled a little and then looked up at me from his guitar. I guess I forgot to tell you. His smile faded a little. Guess thats why you havent seen her around much, right?

So why do you like wearing dresses anyway? Theyre so uncomfortable.

Actually theyre the opposite, Kurt said. Theyre comfortable, thats why I wear them.

Plus he thinks they make him look pretty, Krist added, but then waved his hand over his neck and shook his head as he mouthed the words, No they dont!

Kurt smirk a little. I see that, Krist.

Krist stopped smiling and glared at Kurt as stood up straight. Well then

Are we going on, or what? Cause Im pretty sure they just introduced us, Dave stepped in.

Shit! Krist jumped out on stage then Kurt and Dave followed.

Krist finished tuning his bass and Dave did a little practice run on the drum set. Then Kurt leaned up to the microphone and said quietly, Hi.

The crowd screamed and Kurt smiled as he looked down at his guitar. He kept his gaze down but spoke into the mic again, This is uhcalled Negative Creep. And he took no time to break before ripping into the first guitar riff. Then Dave started up on the drums, Krist jumped in with the bass, and Kurts voice followed.

I stood there amazed and dumbfounded as to how such a strong, powerful, pained sound could come from such a shy, sweet little boy. It was incredible. And the energy that they all had was unbelievable. Krist jumped around the whole swaying back and forth with the neck of his bass, Dave whipped his hair around each time he hit a different part of the drum set, and Kurt jerked back and forth until he needed to reach back up to the microphone in which case hed stop moving temporarily. His hair would be flung in front of his face and you could only see his lips move on top of the mic.

Kurt never played in front of me before - of course I was never around much when he had really started playing and practicing with a band. But he was incredible, he was absolutely amazing - his talent was beyond words. He had such a powerful voice and the riffs that he had come up with were better than anything Zeppelin or Guns N Roses couldve come up with.

And the same went for Krist and Dave. The energy and enthusiasm that they bounced off each other was amazing. I mean, I heard them play off the album, but that was nothing compared to watching them and hearing them in person.

I stood there the entire time in awe at the three boys that rightfully labeled themselves as Nirvana.

Picture: Kurt in a dress because Kurt knows how to fucking rock a dress

Chapter Twenty Four: Part Two

Anas POV

We all sat in Kurts apartment after the show. Guys Im not going to stop saying it, that was really fucking amazing.

Ana, Kurt said with his head laid back and eyes closed. Shh. He reached out his hand and struggled to find my mouth. We get it.

I stuck my tongue out to make him move his hand, but he didnt budge. He just opened his eyes and glanced over at me with a little smile. No fair, I mumbled into his hand. I grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand off of me.

Well it was quiet for a little while, Kurt said. Sorry guys, I tried.

Hey! I laughed and jumped on top of him. Its not my fault you guys were awesome. I picked my head up. Can we go do something?

I dont know, Ana. Im kinda tired

Ill go! I turned around and Dave was already standing up.

I laughed a little and stood up. Come on, Kurt! Lets go. I grabbed his hands and tried pulling him up but he didnt even move. I wont let you use my moms dresses anymore!

Anaaaaa! he groaned. I dont wannaaa!

Fine! I dropped his hands and turned around. Krist are you coming?

Nah, Ill stay here with Kurt.

Ugh! Youre both lazy little shits. I grabbed Daves wrist. I guess its just me and you, Dave!

Dave closed the door behind us as we left the apartment building. Ana, where are we going? he asked.

I dont know, I just wanna do something! I turned to him and smile. Im justpumped up from your concert. It was late and only about every other shop was lit up, but I still looked through each window with a smile.

Daves POV

I couldnt believe how happy she was, we werent even doing anything and she was just so happy! She smiled and skipped around the sidewalk holding onto my arm. She gasped and pointed at one of the store windows. Dave, look! I wish I had my wallet on me.

I looked up to see that she was pointing at Soundgarden t-shirt in one of the store windows. You want it? I smiled at her.

No! Dave, dont

Come on, I said dragging her into the store.

No! she giggled. Dave, I mean it!

How much is that Soundgarden t-shirt in the window? I asked the guy behind the counter.

Twenty dollars, he said.

Twenty?!! I coughed a little, I mean, uhcan you do ten?

No, he said in a firm voice, I can do twenty.

I sighed and turned back to Ana. Do you really want that shirt? I whispered.

I never said I wanted it in the first place, she laughed.

I turned to the man. So howre we doing with giving me that shirt for ten dollars?

I heard Ana laughing behind me then felt her arms around my waist and her head on my back. I blushed and then looked back up at the man. Come on, mister! Please, just ten dollars?!

I can do ten dollars, I guess He sighed.

Thank you so much! Youare a good man!

He walked around the counter and to the window to grab the shirt. Then he walked back behind the counter and handed the shirt to me. Thatll be ten dollars.

I slammed the ten dollars on the table and turned around to hold out the shirt to Ana. She smiled at it before grabbing it from me. Then looked up at me. Thanks, Dave. She then threw her arms around my neck. When she pulled away, she grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the store.

She had calmed down from when we had walked into the store, but she was still just as happy. We kept walking as she held the shirt close to her. You know what? she said. I wanna wear this now. Hold this. She handed the shirt to me and began to take hers off.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! I yelled grabbing her arms.

What?! Are there people around? She turned her head looking up and down the road.

Well Im here! And you're in the middle of the city!

So? Look around, its just you and me. She shook me off and pulled her shirt over her head. We switched items and she put the new shirt on. There, she said looking down at her torso. She then pulled her hair out from the collar and took her old shirt back from me. I was left standing and staring at her. What? she asked. Stop staring at me, youre making things weird.

I am? You just took your shirt off! And its like forty degrees out!

Oh calm down. Youre acting like youve never seen a girl in a bra before. Besides you wouldve done it.

Yeah but

But what? I cant do something that you wouldve just because Im a girl? I didnt know what to say so she smirked at me then grabbed my hand again and pulled me along. Come on, lets go.

We kept on walking and walking, but I noticed that Ana started to shiver after a while. Dodo you want my jacket? I offered.

Ohno youll be cold then. Just keep it, she smiled, Im fine.

No really, Im hot with it on. I started to take off my jacket even though she kept protesting.

Dave, really! Im fine!

Thats the same thing that you said about that shirt.

Yeah well she mumbled and then grabbed the jacket. If you get cold, you better not hesitate to tell me.

Dont you worry about me, I said.

Hey, Dave, she said, this is kinda random, but

Oh god, what the hell was she going to say. Shitshit!

Will you kiss me?


I looked down at her smiling at me. Yeah I mumbled and somewhat hesitated to lean down, but I managed.

Dave? she whispered. Dave, what are you doing? she laughed.

I stood back up straight. What?

I asked you how old you are, she said as she glanced up at me.

Ohyeah, I know. I avoided looking back down at her for a while after that. IIm twenty-one.

Damn, youre young.

Wellhow old are you then?

You never ask a woman her age, David. She smirked up at me.

A/N: Sorry for being an asshole, but I changed Ana's actress.

Picture: Ana

Chapter Twenty Five

Kurts POV

Dave slammed the door and ran up to me. Kurt, your sisters driving me crazy.

Yeah, I laughed to myself. She has the tendency to do that to the male species.

He sat down next to me. Kurt, she got changed in front of me a couple days ago!

I waved him off as I flicked my cigarette in the ash tray on the table next to me. She gets changed in front of me and Krist all the time.

Yeah, but youre both like her best friends!

So I hesitated to say, that means she probably sees you as one of her best friends.

He took a deep breath and looked down. YeahI guess so

Im sorry, Dave. I put my hand on his shoulder. You were going to find out eventually. I paused to think of what to say. If it makes you feel any better, Id rather you go out with her than most other guys.

Thanks, but that doesnt change how she feels about me.

It was quiet for a moment. What ifwhat if it does change how she feels about you?

What do you mean?

Well what if I tried to get her to go out with you?

He looked up at me. How?

I dont know I couldtell her about you?

Kurt, she already knows about me, I dont see where youre going with this.

Well I mean, I couldmotivate it. I dont know, does that make sense?

I guesskinda

Okay, well do you want me to do that?

Sure, he sighed and put his face in his hands. Im desperate.

Aw, Davey. I put my arm around him and pulled him into my lap as he pretended to cry. Dont worry. Its okay.

Later that afternoon, Krist and I went over to Anas house. I had told Krist about what Dave and I talked about and he was going to help us out.

We knocked on the door and waited for her to answer. When the door opened up we were left standing there not knowing what to say. Eventually Krist just blurted, Dave wants you!

God damn it! I muttered and punched him.

Ana raised an eyebrow and Krist kept blabbing, Its true! He wants you so bad! He talks about you all the time! You should go out with him!

Krist! I yelled.

Im sorry! I panicked!

We both turned to Ana. Well? I asked as if there was any hope left.

Well I knew he had a thing for me, she said. But you guys are horrible. Id never do that to a friend, you just ratted him out big time.

Ana, its not funny! Hes gonna kill us! I said panicking. This was not the plan!

Wait you guys had a plan? Ana laughed.

Yeah! We had a plan, then Krist ruined it! I glared up at him.

She laughed a little again. This is really cute.

Ana, its not cute! Hes gonna kill us! Hes gonna leave the band! God damn it, Krist!

Well does he know about this whole incident? she asked.

No, but

So why do you have to tell him? she shrugged. I wont blab. Just keep Krist quiet.

Hey, I said Im sorry! And you already knew!

Yeah but now theres no plan

Well I mean, I never said I wouldnt go out with him.

So you will? I looked up at her again hopefully.

No, but thats only because I dont want to be in a relationship right now and hes one of your best friends. It wouldnt be right.

Ugh! Ana just do it, please! I begged.

No! Im not going to go out with someone just because you guys tell me to! Thats even worse!

Why?! Why, Ana?! Hes going crazy!

She gave me a look. Im sure hell live.

Anaplease? I swear, Ill get on my knees if I have to!

She just gave me another look and crossed her arms as she stood her ground.

Fine, you leave me no choice. I got down on my knees and wrapped my arms around her legs. Please, Ana

Kurt, no.

Im not letting you go until you say yes.

If this was your plan, its a horrible plan.

Fine! I got back up. Can you at least satisfy him or something?!

Ew, Kurt, no!

No! Not like that! Ugh, I meant just so hes not complaining about it all the time! Justugh! I dont know how to explain it!

Just act it out, Krist said. Ill be Dave and you be Ana.

Alright I wrapped my arms around Krists waist and cuddled into his chest.

He giggled. That tickles

Shut up, Im trying to be romantic! I stretched up to kiss his cheek and then shoved my head back into his chest. After a moment I pushed him away from me. You know? Stuff like that! Just be cute around him.


Ugh, fine! But you just made a little boy very upset! And Im not talking about me.

Picture: sorry it's really bad quality, but here's Kurt and Krist

Chapter Twenty Six

Anas POV

I was so bored now that Dave, Krist, and Kurt werent around as much. They had started recording their new album and I wasnt allowed to tag along, not yet at least. But Id wiggle my way in there.

For now, I sat in my moms living room watching MTV everyday. Suddenly the phone rang, and that was about the most exciting thing that happened all day. I hurried to pick it up, Hello?

Hey, Ana?

Ohoh my god. Frank?!

Yeah, hey, Frank said on the other end of the phone.

Whats going on? Oh my god, I havent heard from you in so long! How are you?!

Im alright, I guess. You live in Seattle, right?


I think Im going to move up there.

Frankwhat did you do?

Nothing! Whyd you think I did something?! Im moving up there, I should be there in a week.

A week?!

Hey, you moved out in a day!

Alright, alright. Well, were you planning on staying?

So about that

You wanna stay in my house?

Hey! Theres an idea!

Yeah, okay. Ill ask my mom when she gets home.

Youre staying with your mom??

Yes, Frank. Im staying with my mom.

Well, damn were going to have to fix that.

I dont have a job, how am I going to move out?

He laughed at me. Get a job!

Frank, you dont understand. Im in my twenties and Ive never had a job.

Are you kidding me?

Okay, dont rub it in. I rolled my eyes mainly because he couldnt see me.

Okay, okay. I gotta go, Ana. Ill talk to you later.

Bye, Frank.

Bye, Ana.

Gif: David Eric Grohl

Chapter Twenty Seven

Kurts POV

I think we should try Territorial Pissing again, Krist offered.

No! Dave protested. I think we should do Teen Spirit again.

Naw! Youre just saying that because you like playing that one!

So what?

Will you both keep quiet?! Butch, our producer, yelled at both of them. Im trying to work out Breed!

Hey! I got it! I said. We need to do Pay To Play over, I switched up the lyrics.

They all looked at me and after a moment of silence, Butch waved me the okay to head back into the recording room.

I headed back in and closed the door behind me. I picked up to head phones and set them over my ears. Whenever youre ready Kurt, Butch gave me the thumbs up to get started and sat back to listen to what I had to offer.

SoI started singing the new lyrics. Monkey see, monkey do. I dont know why Id - rather be dead than cool. I dont know why - every line ends in rhyme. I dont know why - less is more, love is blind. I dont know why. Staaaay! Stay Awaaay!

I continued singing and reading off my scribbled on sheet of paper, and when I finished I looked up at Krist, Dave, and Butch. They were all smiling. Thats the one, Kurt, Butch said. Thats it! I like Stay Away better than Pay To Play! That ones going on the album!

Thanks, Butch. I smiled a little and then walked back out of the recording room.

Picture: Kurt and Krist

Chapter Twenty Eight

Anas POV

Frank was supposed to be arriving today. Mom said it was alright as long as it was temporary and we didnt sleep in the same room Im sure she was just trying to be funny with that second part though, she probably didnt care.

It was about noon when the doorbell rang. I got up to answer it, but when I opened the door Franks back was turned towards me and he was scratching his head with one hand as he used the other to study the paper he was holding in his hand.

I laughed a little to myself as he mumbled, God, I hope the is the right place.

I actually think your destination is a couple doors down, I joked catching his attention.

He turned around and smiled at me. Hey! Ana! He ran up to me to give me a big hug. But what I didnt expect was for him to actually pick me up.

Ah! Hi, Frank! I laughed.

He set me down and looked around the room. So this is your house.

My moms house, I corrected him.

He sighed. He have to get you an apartment or something.

I need a job first.

What if I started a business, would you work with me?

Frank, Im not going to be your drug dealing partner, sorry.

No! Im done with that shit, Ana! I promise, I stopped when Dani went. He paused. I meant a different kind of business though. Likewhat if we start a food chain or something?

I laughed at him. A food chain? Are you serious? Is that what you really want to do?

Well, no not really. But you get what I mean.

Kinda, I shrugged. But you really want someone with no experience to be your business partner?

He shrugged back. Youre a strong girl, I see a lot in you of what Dani didnt even have. Im sure youll do fine.

Okay, well this discussion can continue another time, I just want to get you settled in the guest room right now.

Picture: Ana

Chapter Twenty Nine

Daves POV

Kurt was going to get a haircut, but he wanted us all to go with him for some reason especially Ana. Well I mean, he wanted Ana to go everywhere he did for the most part so I wasnt all that surprised.

He didnt bother to knock on the front door this time, he just walked in, so Krist and I followed. Hey, Ana, he said. Hi, Frank.

Wait, what the fuck? Whos Frank?? I looked in the living room at Ana sitting down with some man.

Are you ready to go? Kurt asked.

Yeah, Frank youre staying here right?

Yeah, take your time, the man said. Dont worry about me.

I grabbed Kurts arm. Who the fuck is Frank? I mumbled.

He turned to look at me with a little grin, but then walked out the door again. I hate when he teased me like that. Ana grabbed her small purse as she headed out to the van. I hurried over to Krist who was now following both of them.

Whos Frank? I asked him. He just shrugged. Krist got in the drivers seat and Kurt in the passengers seat. Ana and I got in the back together. It was quiet except for the slight static of the radio.

Kurt wouldnt let this happen, I thought, he wouldnt do that to me. Well, I really hope he wouldnt anyway.

We all got out of the car and crowded into the small shop. While Krist and I went to go sit down in the waiting room, Kurt went to go sit at one of the sinks and Ana went to go talk to the stylist. I tried to listen to what they were talking about just because I was bored.

He wants to go really short, Ana explained to the lady, but I like his hair long she kept talking but I wasnt all that interested anymore. I looked over at Kurt and when he noticed me, he grinned at me again. I looked away just as Ana was walking over to sit down next to Krist.

She looked up at him and touched his upper lip. I like this. You look good with facial hair.

He smiled at her. What about Kurt?

She looked over at him getting pampered and laughed. Yeah, you can both pull it off.

Dyou think Dave should grow out some stubble? Krist motioned over to me with a stupid smirk on his face.

Ana looked over at me. Nah, hes got a baby face. Hes too cute to have facial hair.

Before I could say anything, she noticed that Kurt was getting up, so she did too. Krist looked over at me. You do have a baby face.

Kurts POV

Well what if she cuts it up to your shoulders? Ana tried to persuade me.

Thats where it is now, pretty much, I argued.

What about cutting it to your chin? she offered.

Shorter than that.

So above your ears?!

Like a bowl cut? No, Ill look like Im back in high school!!

Well make up your mind!

Im trying but you wont let me! Just go sit down!

Dont you dare cut it short, she threatened before she went to go sit back down.

Alright, alright!

Daves POV

Ana sat back down next to me and grabbed my hand. He makes me nervous she mumbled.

Its just a haircut, itll grow back out.

I knowbut he still has to walk around with it for a month if he doesnt like it.

Dont worry about it. I hesitated to kiss the top of her head, but I pushed myself to do it.

She looked up and smiled at me, and then rested her head on my shoulder. After about fifteen minutes, Kurt was finished. Hey, he smiled as he walked up to us.

Kurt! Ana gasped. I told you not to go that short! She stood up and started playing with his hair. She cocked her head to one side. I actually kinda like it

See! You should listen to me more often.

Picture: Nirvana ft Kurt's middle finger

Chapter Thirty

Daves POV

Ana was coming with us to the recording studio for the first and probably final time. She was really excited but once she spent a couple hours there, shed probably be bored out of her mind. Recording gets like that sometimes and she was only there to watch.

We introduced her to Butch and they instantly got along, but that was usually the case with Ana. She sat next to him and we got started on recording. I actually wanted to try something with you, Dave, Butch said.


Youre the only Dave here. Butch began to explain, During the chorus for In Bloom what if we have you sing with Kurt.

What? Me? Why me? I protested. I cant sing!

Sure you can, Kurt encouraged. Everyone thought I had a decent voice but I always thought I sounded really stupid when I sang.

Just give it a try, Butch said. We dont have to put it in if it doesnt work.

Alright, well, come on Kurt, lets go, I said figuring I could get away with singing together.

Oh, no, no, no, Butch interrupted. Its just going to be you and then Ill add it in. He turned back to the recording table to get set up. Let me show you where I thought it would work, hold on, he said pulling up the vocals for In Bloom. We all listened as Kurt went to go look for the lyrics sheet, he handed it to Butch. Ana handed him a pen. So during the chorus, riiiight here, he started underlining certain lyrics as we passed them while listening. So Dave, you just sing what I underlined just with Kurt singing normally like we just listened to. Remember, youre creating a harmony.

I took the piece of paper and started reading over the lyrics. So I just have to sing whats underlined?

Yup, and you can hear the song through the headphones in there. It might take a couple tries, but I really think this is going to work out good.

I sighed. Alright. I wouldnt mind half as much if Ana werent here, but she was and I was going to have sing with this stupid voice of mine.

I waited a long time before I had to sing and I was nervous the entire time, but when the chorus finally rolled around I started spewing out random words from the song. Heees the one, all our pretty songs. likes to sing along. likes to shoot his gun. knows not what it means. knows not what means. And I had to repeat that several time, trying to match up with Kurts voice on the recording.

When I finally finished, Butch told me it was really good, but he wanted me to do it again

I sighed. Alright, Butch. Just one more time, right?

Maybe one more after that, I dont know, well see.

I nodded as I bit my lips together. Okay Alright.

So I recorded it againand againand one more time. And then one last time before Butch told me I could come back out. I closed the door behind me and took a deep breath. That was really great, Dave, Ana smiled at me.

NahI dont really like my voice all that much.

Well I think you have a really nice voice, she chimed as she looked away.

I felt my face get hot so I just looked down as I said, Thanks, with a stupid smile pulling at my lips.

Alright, Kurt, Butch said, moving things along. I want to just listen to this real quick, he played around with the mixing board and played our voices together. I like that, I like that a lot. But how about we double it? He turned in his chair to face Kurt.

Double it? Kurt said nervously. Aw man, Butch. You know I dont really like doing that.

Butch took a deep breath. You know, John Lennon did it. He gave Kurt a look.

Kurt bit his lips and thought for a minute. Alright, okay. Lets do it. Kurt walked into the recording room.

Butch started recording Kurts voice over again and I leaned down to ask him, Hey, uh I dont have to record over again, do I Butch?

No, Dave. Thats why we went over yours a whole bunch of times, he said still concentrating on Kurt. Dont worry, I thought ahead for you. Id like to thank you for that though. I know you really didnt want to sing, but let me tell you something this song is going to sound really fucking good.

Picture: the babes

Chapter Thirty One

Anas POV

Do you think I should cut my hair? I asked Frank looking in my bathroom mirror.

I dont know, he shrugged. If you want to.

I would ask Kurt, Krist, and Dave, but Dave would just jump in and say Id look good no matter what I did so that doesnt help much. And Kurt would probably rub it in my face that I didnt want him to get a haircut. And you know what Krist would say? Aw fuck it, man! Do what you wanna do! I sighed.

He laughed at my impression of Krist and then asked. Well how much were you going to get cut off?

I studied myself in the mirror for a minute before answering. Above my shoulders.

Itll make you look a lot older I think.

Yeah? Daves not going to be happy with that. Especially after I told him he had a baby face.


What?! I whipped around to face him. Its true!

That boy is absolutely infatuated with you and you told him he has a baby face?

Yeahhh Why? Is there something completely wrong with that? Hes adorable! I cant help that!

First of all, no man wants to be told that theyre adorable, alright? Especially not by a girl that he really likes and is trying to impress. I mean, maybe if this was high school that might be alright under certain circumstances. But this isnt high school, and there are no special circumstances.

So what are you telling me?

Im telling you that you fucked up.

Oh fuck off! Youre making it a bigger deal than it really is. Hes a cute guy, he should take it as a compliment!

Picture: Dave and Kurt being cuties

Chapter Thirty Two

Anas POV

I sat in the chair while the hair dresser walked up behind me. So you really want to cut all your hair off? she asked.

Not all of it, just to my shoulders. I smiled at her in the mirror.

Eh, alright. Youre a pretty girl, youll be able to pull it off.

I smiled again as she got to work.

Kurts POV

We had our first weekday off from recording in a while, and Dave and I were just sitting around my apartmentor our apartment? I dont know, he just lives with me, I pay for the majority of it. But we were just hanging out and having a couple drinks. And either it started kicking in fast or it just felt that way.

Through the single window on my wall that even though was mostly covered with ragged old curtains we could still see the rain pouring down outside as it showered against the glass. And even if we hadnt been able to see it, we were able to hear it clearly.

There was a knock on the door and we both looked up at each other confused, nobody ever really came to visit us and we hadnt heard from Krist or Ana. There was another knock. Soare you gonna get that or

I got up after Daves comment and walked to the door. I gripped the doorknob and held my mouth to the crack in the door. Who is it?

Kurt, you know theres a peepholeright?

I gave him the middle finger while he laughed at me and then I looked through the tiny hole in the center of the door. When I saw a familiar face, I open the door and saw Ana standing there soaking wet with a little grin on her face. Hey, she said weakly.

Ana, what happened?!

Well incase you didnt know, its kinda raining a little outside.

Wait, wait, come in! Godwhat the hell is wrong with you? Why didnt you call me, II wouldve come to pick you up! I wasnt even focused on how drunk I was, I honestly never wouldve gotten in a car while I was this messed up.

I wasnt home, I

And your hair? You got your hair cut. Its so short!

Its not that short.

Okay, but its a lot shorter than it was.

Can I just go take a shower, please? Im kind of cold right now.

Oh shit, yeah, yeah. The bathrooms right over there.

Thanks. She walked down the tiny hallway and into the bathroom. She shut the door behind her and I went to go sit back down.

Dave looked at me with a stupid smile on his face.


This is my chance! He threw his arm towards the bathroom door.

Daveyoure notyoure not take a shower with my sister, especially not in my apartment Plus youyou couldnt even stand her changing in front of you, so shut the fuck up.

He leaned back against the couch and stared at the drink in his hand. Yeah well, whatever.

Moments later Ana came running out wrapped in a towel, and without stopping she said, I dont have any clothes, Im wearing yours, Kurt. And she disappeared into my room.

Dont! Just put clothes on! I yelled spilling some of my drink as I swung it in her direction. Oh I peeked over the back of the of the couch, but everything just looked fuzzy so left the supposed stain alone.

It didnt take her too long before she came back out in a pair of my sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt. She walked into the open kitchen and got herself a glass of water.

She sat down next to Dave. I think Im going to sleep here tonight, she said playing with her newly cut, damp hair. If thats okay with you two.

Yup, were not doing anything

Hey, wheres your phone? she asked getting back up. I pointed towards the kitchen. Thanks. I watched her walk into the other room. She was looking pretty good, but in all fairness, I was on mywait what drink was I even on?

I didnt even know, but I shook my head attempting to shake the disturbing thoughts out of my mind.

Youyou got your eyes on her, Dave slurred taking another swing of whatever was in his cup. I looked in my glass and then did the same.

No, I mumbled back, no, no, no Thatsno

Ana came back to sit with us after a short phone conversation that I wasnt paying attention to. Damn, she said staring at me, you look like shit. You must be really fucked. She grabbed my glass and looked inside. Whatre you drinking? She asked before drinking whatever was left.

II dunno.

Damn, she said making a face. Damn, whatever it was, it was strong as hell. She looked back in the glass.

Can you go get some I paused to burp, some more. Its I turned around and tried to find it in the kitchen but had no luck, Its over thereI think

She nodded and got up. I found my eyes locked on her again, but knocked myself out of it as soon as I caught myself. Fuckfuck! I yelled turning back around.

Hey, Dave said, dontdont talk that way in front of a lady! He sprawled out over the couch and threw his glass in the air as he turned to Ana. Now get me another glassbitch!

Shut the hell upthe fuck was in your cup??

Hey, fuck you! he slurred.

I ignored him and turned back around as my head spun. Whats taking so long I could barley make out the vision of Ana chugging whatever she had poured for herself. Ana I tried to get out, but my words never seemed loud enough to me so I probably started started yelling. AnaAna! Ana, dont drink that. I burped again even thought it was clearly too late. Dontdont do it.

She came back to sit next to me with my glass and the bottle. AnaAna! Dave yelled reaching his cup out. Annnaaa. He shook the cup.

She leaned over the side of the couch and poured Dave another cup, probably spilling a lot in the process. But I again, found myself looking at her. I actually slapped myself this time as I forced my glare away.

She flopped back down next to me and smiled at me then laughed a little. She took a downed right from the bottle and then relaxed.

Hey, she said with closed eyes, wherewhere am I sleeping tonight?

With me, or with Dave, oror on thecouch. Or with me

No! No! Dave yelled. Shes sleeping with me! Kurt! Shes shes sleeping with me!

Calm down and stop yelling you little shit!

Fuck you man! You asshole! He laid back on the couch but he couldnt stop fidgeting around.

Hey, Ana laughed, hey, Dave. Whatcha drinkin?

He squirmed around a little more before looking down at his cup. Huh?

Ana just giggled at him again, and then looked back up at me with already dreary eyes. Damn, she was quite a laugher when she drank. Kurt, I she laughed, IIm tired. She bit her lips together. So Im going to bed.

I nodded. Okay

Then we just stared at each other before she reached her arm behind me. Good night, Kurt. She held the back of my neck to pull my lips to hers. It wasnt a shy, friendly kiss either, and neither one of us held back.

When she parted from me, I nodded again and mumbled, Night.

She got up and walked into Daves room.

Dave sat there staring at me. Well fuck, man. That was weird. He drank what was left in his cup then dropped it on the floor while heading to his room.

I copied their actions and made my way to my own room. The fuck just happened.

Daves POV

I opened the door to my room and made my way to the bed. I was completely confident in myself that I was walking in a straight line directly across my room, but I was probably stumbling all over the place like a baby deer.

When I flopped on my messy bed, I noticed that Ana was there laying next to me. That cant be comfortable, she laughed as she looked over at me.

What? I mumbled.

Sleeping in your clothes, she laughed again.

Ohthose are still on? I struggled to take my shirt off and then my pants. Okay, now you.

She laughed and rolled over. Thats not how it works, Dave.

Drunk-Dave was a lot more confident than sober-Dave. I kind of liked it, well at the moment I did, but Im sure Id regret doing a lot of stuff tomorrow morning.

I laid down next to Ana and threw my arms and legs around her as she backed into my body to be even closer to me than she already was. I nuzzled my face into her neck before passing out.

Picture: more of the babes

Chapter Thirty Three

Anas POV

I eased my eyes open. There was a small strip of sunlight flooding through a small crack in the curtains, but I didnt recognize the room I was in. I felt the weight of someones limbs across my body. I reached for the hand on my torso and lifted it to see that it definitely belonged to Dave. I smiled as I played with his fingers, his hands were a lot like Kurts but smaller Dave had really small hands.

I held onto it as I tried to roll over. While I was successful in turning my body, Daves leg got even more tangled in mine and on top of that, I had a huge migraine. I squeezed his fingers as the sharp pain struck my temple. I took a deep breath and raised my hand to my head then pushed my hair out of my face and tucked it behind my ear. I let my fingers run down the side of my hair only to have them stop at my shoulder.

What the fuck I whisper to myself. I opened my eyes again and pulled the ends of my hair to try and reach into view. Sitting up quickly, I almost cried. Turning to Dave, I shook his arm. Dave! I yelled. Dave, wake up!

Just five more minutes, mommy. He grabbed onto my waist and snuggled in closer.

David! I prided his arms off of me and pushed him over. After a moment, he sat up slowly and scratched his head before rubbing his eyes and looking over at me.

What he groaned.

What happened last night?! I nearly screamed as the lump in my throat grew. What happened to my hair?!

II dont know. Can we go back to sleep now? He rested his head on my shoulder and I realized he would be no help. Id have to calm down big time because it was only making my massive head ache worse. I took a deep breath again and wrapped my arm around Daves head pulling his hair behind his shoulders as he started to fall asleep again.

I was still a little freaked out, and I didnt remember anything after yesterday afternoon. I didnt even remember how I got here. Kurt! I attempted to yell.

Anaaashh! Dave said wincing.

Dave, just lay down and go back to sleep.

Mmm, I dont wanna.


He groaned into my shoulder again and then rolled back into the bed. I got up and tucked Dave back under the blanket. He cuddled into the covers and I left him to go back to sleep. I closed his door behind me as I left and tried to sneak into Kurts room. I opened the door slowly and peaked inside. He still seamed to be sleeping, so I walked in and sat down on his his bed next to him. I didnt say anything, now that I was in here, I didnt have as much of an urge to wake him up as I did before just to find out what happened.

As much as I wanted to know, I didnt have the guts to wake him up. After sitting there for a moment, I got up and headed for the door. But once I had my hand on the doorknob, I thought I heard him mumble something. I turned to face him, but he was in the same position as before and his eyes were still closed.

As I opened the door and heard it again, but this time when I turned around he moaned in a tired morning voice, Ana, come ere.

I hurried over to him. Kurt, what happened last night??

He sat up in bed slowly and I sat down next to him once again. Well, Dave and I had our day off, so we were uhdrinking a little, and then you showed up after you got a hair cut and you were walking in the rain and so you went to take a shower and Dave and I were both kindaturned on and

Kurt! What the fuck did you do?! I punched his arm.

Nothing! I didnt do anything! At least I dont remember doing anything! You slept in Daves room last night, thats all I remember.

WaitI got a hair cut yesterday?

Yeah, he chuckled, I think you drank a little too much last night.

I started to vaguely remember walking to Kurts apartment in the pouring rain and having a couple drinks but I couldnt put the rest together. Okay, well that explains a lot, I mumbled under my breath.

Wait, so did you and Dave

I dont know! I thought my sex life made you uncomfortable anyway.

Ew, Ana! Dont say that!


Dont talk about your sex life.

Ha! See!

Except we werent really yelling the entire time because we were both recovering from major hangovers. After our short-lived discussion, we snuck back into Daves room. We looked down at him snoring lightly into his pillow.

So hes a real heavy sleeper, huh? Kurt asked quietly as I nodded.

Maybe we should let him sleep off his hangover.

Nah, Im gonna screw him. Kurt carefully sat on Daves legs and hunched over to grab his shoulders, and Dave still didnt wake up so Kurt went through with his plan. Kurt started shaking Daves shoulders wildly.

Dave groaned and pushed Kurt off of him. Ow! Stop it! You fucking asshole! Then he rolled back into bed to go back to sleep.

Picture: Ana

Chapter Thirty Four

Kurts POV

Dave, Krist, Butch, and I were all in the recording studio again. We had a long to time to record, really we did, but it was such a hassle recording, coming up with new melodies, rerecording, coming up with new lyrics, rerecording, coming up with new riffs, rerecording. It just became repetitive after a while, and we still had months of recording.

And while I tried to keep my mind on what I had to be doing, it wondered off constantly. I had actually met this girl over the weekend when we were playing a show. After we performed I walked over to the bar to have a drink and she just came up to me.

She was strong and beautiful and didnt take shit from anyone. In some ways she reminded me of Ana, but this girl was nuts worse than Ana she was literally insane. You could tell she was crazy just by looking in her eyes. But I dont know, I think it was a good kind of crazy. And I mean, Im mentally insane so we had one thing in common so far.

She wore very little makeup around her blue eyes but had big, bright, red lips. Her bleached hair only reached her shoulders and her bangs fringed over her eyebrows. She wore a dress, but she wast societys idea of classy. She was great though, I fell head over heals the minute I saw her.

I was glad she sat down next to me, and I was glad she said hello, and I was glad she gave me not only her name, but her number. I was glad that Courtney gave me more than a chance that night.

Kurt! Butch said knocking me out of my trance for the second time today. Do you have those new lyrics yet?

Uh I glanced down at my practically blank paper.

Whats gotten into you? he asked slightly annoyed.

God, this conversation really brought me back to high school. But I was not going to let that happen. Slacking off was not an option when it came to music. Nothing! Nothing! Ill get them done! Just hold on!

He now asked more concerned, Are you alright?

Yeah, yeah. Dont worry, Ill get it all done by night.

Okay, he sighed and turned back to work with Dave and Krist again.

Picture: Kurt and Courtney, if you have a problem with Courtney then you're just going to have to suck it the fuck up for a couple chapters, sorry.

Chapter Thirty Five

Anas POV

Nirvana was playing tonight and I made Frank come with me to go see them. He made me promise to stay by the bar with him though. And I agreed, but I made him promise to come back stage with me when they were done.

Frank drank a lot that night, he wasnt all that into the music scene but he knew how important it was to me and the band. We both sat at the bar all the way in the back. It wasnt a very big place, but it wasnt exactly easy to see my three boys up on stage either. Well, I guess that didnt matter much anyway, it only mattered if I could hear them and that was always possible when Nirvana performed.

I sat up straight on my stool and tried to catch a glance of Kurt, Krist, and Dave. But Dave was hiding behind his drum set and I could barley make out Kurt and Krists faces anyway so I gave up on trying to watch.

I sighed and looked over at Frank finishing his second drink. I laughed, So what do you think?

Its loud! he said over the crowd and music as he slammed his glass back on the table. Its really loud!

I laughed at him again. Well you have another half hour of this, so keep youre drinks coming! I turned to the stage as he turned to the bartender.

Daves POV

I was the first to walk off stage as I wiped my face with my shirt. Ana was waiting for us with her friend, Frank, who I still didnt know. She had a huge smile on her face, but I couldnt say the same for her friend. He didnt look upset, he just looked unsatisfied.

Hi, Dave! she said overly happy. Oh! You never really met Frank, have you?

I shook my head as I looked up at the man. I feel like he seemed taller last time I saw him. He held his hand out with an insincere smile. I shook his hand anyway. Im just Anas uhfriend.

Ana laughed a little. I didnt know if it was because he wasnt really just her friend or because she was just had a couple drinks and was being her-typical-tipsy-Ana-self. Yeah, I said, Im Anas other friend.

He let out a fake laugh. Yeah, I umhear quite a bit about you.

That caught my attention but before I could reply, Kurt and Krist walked by pushing past me to put their instruments away. Hey, Ana Hi, Frank they both mumbled.

While some little awkward conversation continued between Frank, Ana, and I, Kurt didnt give it a chance to last long. Hey! Shut up! he mumbled to us. Courtneys coming and I dont want you guys scaring her off!

I scoffed as Ana gave Kurt a confused look.

Hey, Kurt, Courtney said with that unforgettable voice of hers.

Um! Ana pushed me out of the way to walk up to Kurt, he was already embarrassed. Excuse me! Kurt, she cleared her throat, who is this?

Courtney raised an eyebrow. Well, who are you? she snickered, giving Ana an intimidating look.

Thats not important, Ana said holding her ground and snapping back at Courtney even though the height difference was pretty alarming. Whats going on here? She looked from Courtney to Kurt and back again. After a stare off between Ana and Courtney, they both crossed their arms and looked at Kurt for an answer.

Well uh, Ana, this is my friend, Courtney. Courtney, this is my sister, Ana.

Oh, Courtney gasped in relief. I thought you were cheating you asshole.

So you two are datiiiing

Kinda, Kurt mumbled, now can you

Ana pushed Kurt out of the picture and turned to Courtney. So, youre name is Courtney? How old are you in relation to Kurt?

She laughed and looked at Kurt. What am Ithree years older than you? she asked and then looked back at Ana. Thats about right.

Ana eyed Kurt. So youre going for older women now?

I could tell Kurt wasnt too into Ana and Courtneys conversation, he was so embarrassed he actually went to the other side of the room.

Kurt! Courtney yelled. I love your sister! Shes adorable!

Ana made a face and said, Yeah, uh-huh! Thats right! You oughta introduce me to your girlfriends more often!

Courtney chuckled. How old are you?

Same age as Kurt.

So are you two like twins or something? You dont look alike at all.

Ana laughed sarcastically. No, no! Were just really close friends, but we really are like siblings. Weve known each other since grade school.

Ohh! Alright, then.

After Ana and Courtneys little encounter had passed, they had gotten along like theyd known each other for as long as Ana and Kurt had. I wasnt too crazy about Courtney myself, but then again, Ana got along with practically everyone she came across so I wasnt surprised that Ana befriended her. And whether it was because of her friendliness or the fact that she just hadnt had a female her age to be around in a long time, I wasnt quite sure, but they got along great.

But good for Ana and Courtney, and good for Kurt and Courtney. Whatever.

Picture: Frank because why not

Chapter Thirty Six

Krists POV

While Dave and I sat around the recording room, Kurt and Butch were working on more of the vocals. Dave and I didnt really have much work to do because we had gotten the majority of the bass and drums recorded within the first month or so of recording.

I nudged Dave slightly. He looked up at me. What, he mumbled.

I shrugged and looked away. I dont know, nothing.

Oh, okay. He nudged me back.

I pushed him back a little harder, and he reciprocated the action. I pushed him one more time and I guess I caught him at just the right angle because he lost balance and fell of the spinny chair.

I laughed at him as he climbed back up with a stupid little grin. I noticed it had become quiet in the studio so I looked up and saw Butch staring at us. What? What happened? Kurts voice came through the speakers. Why did we stop?

Krist pushed Dave off this chair, Butch groaned.

We heard Kurt trying to hold back his laughter. Alright, alright. Lets keep going, he finally said.

Yeah, alright. Lets get this done. If you two keep this up though I dont know how much longer its going to take to record this.

Sorry, Dave said under his breath.

I glanced at him and chuckled. He glared up at me and elbowed me. We grinned at each other as I elbowed him back.

Picture: Drew Barrymore (Ana) being hot af

Chapter Thirty Seven

Daves POV

Courtney was over and she had been telling Ana about her own band. Although neither of the girls were paying attention, Kurt was also listening attentively. I sat in the kitchen with my head in my hand as I stirred my spoon around in my coffee.

Hey, Ana, I tried to get her attention. She just held her pointer-finger up to me as to tell me to wait and she kept listening to Courtney. I sighed and slumped back in my seat. A couple minutes later, I got to go sit next to her on the arm of the chair. Hey, Ana, I poked her, you wanna go do something?

But she just shooed me away. Dave, please, shh! Not now, she barked, Im in the middle of a conversation!

I got up and walked around the living room and through the kitchen then roamed back into the living room and then back to sit next to Ana. I tried to squeeze myself onto the couch next to her and then took her hand. Hey, Annaa? I said resting my head on her shoulder.

I felt her body move up and down as she took a deep breath. Courtney, please give me a minute. Ana stood up and turned to me. We need to talk! Not even waiting for me to stand up, she pulled me into my room. I was scared to close the door behind me, but I did at her command. What the hell, Dave?! Ugh! And dont even give me that look! She turned away from me and crossed her arms. I cant be mad at you when you look at me like that!

Im sorry. I looked down. Its just that you and Kurt have been spending a lot of time with Courtney, and Krist has kinda been doing his own thing with Shelli since they got married. And I can only call my mom so many times a day, she has her own stuff to do.

Okay, well why does it have to be be just you and me? Or just you and Kurt? Or just you and Krist? Come on, just come hang out with the group!

Yeah but

Come on, dont give me that, Courtneys probably going to be heading home soon anyway. She grabbed my hand without giving me time to answer and pulled me out the door, but stopped almost immediately and pushed me back in.

Whats going on? I asked.

We should justleave them alone for now. She walked around my room a little.

Oh Well, there not really a lot that we can do in here I sat down on my bed and took a deep breath. After giving up on the look for entertainment, Ana sat down next to me. She smiled and then took one of my hands. I watched her set my hand on her thigh and spread out my fingers. She kept that same soft smile on her face as she studied it. Whatcha doin?

Her lips curled a little more as she glanced up at me. You have cute little hands.


Yeah! Look, you have small hands!

Okay well lets see your hands then.

Fine, she held her hands out in front of me. I took one and held it up to mine.

Well mine are a lot bigger than yours.

No! she pulled away and held her hands behind her back. That doesnt count, Im a girl! Plus I have small hands too!

You started this, now were ending it!

Okay you have have small hands, there we ended it. She smiled proudly.

No, no, no! Nuh-uh! I reached around her to try and grab her hands.

No! She laid back on my bed and put her hands above her head. I turned back and reached up for her hands, but she pulled them out of my reach yet again and set around my body. Thats when I realized that I was actually on top of her.

Dont. Fuck. Up. Dont make things awkward.

I took a deep breath and

The door swung open. Courtney left, so Whoa! Whats going on in here!?

I scrabbled to push myself off of Ana and sit up. Nothing!

OkayyyIm just gonna leave you two to uhdo whatever you're doing Kurt closed the door behind him. I heard Ana covering up her laughter. Great

Picture: IDK why but I really like this picture of Courtney and Drew (Ana)

Chapter Thirty Eight

Kurts POV

We were finally finishing up recording and wed hopefully be touring soon. We were planning to go out before the album was released of course. Dave wasnt going to be too happy about leaving, and I didnt think that Ana was going to be too on board with the idea of coming with us. She had just gotten away from all the touring and running around with Anthony, I really didnt think she wanted to do that again.

It was late and we were all tired and wanted to leave but Butch kept us for at least another half hour. He said if we stayed that night, then we wouldnt have to stay late the next night. And while he was right, we all just wanted to leave at that point.

Dave was nearly passed out on Krists shoulder when the studio got a call. Butch rolled himself over to the phone to pick up. Hello? It was weird getting a call in the studio, really weird.

Um, hes actually busy right now. Can I put you on with Krist or Dave? He rolled back over to Krist and handed him the phone then went back to working.

Hello? Krist said confused.

Who is it? I asked Butch.

Not a big deal. Come on, keep working so we can leave.

Well was it for me?

You can call her back later.

I immediately thought it was Courtney and wanted Krist off the phone with her instantly because hed probably say something stupid to her to make me look really dumb. Well who was it?! I shook Butch.

Hold on, Krist said, I think you should talk to Dave. He had one of those cheesy grins on his face as he handed Dave (who was nearly sleeping) the phone.

Hello? Dave grumbled into the phone, nudging his way back into Krists shoulder. Ana! he yelled with a smile and closed eyes. Hi!

I let out the breath I had been holding in and sat back down to work with Butch again.

But sleepy-Dave was almost as bad drunk-Dave. Krist laughed as he made a fool out of himself over the phone. AnaAna! Whered ya go?!

Alright, someone get him off the phone, Butch hid his smile. We need to get this done before you leave.

Krist tried to grab the phone from Dave but he shook him off and turned in the other direction. Fuck off, Im on the phone!

Picture: one more of Courtney and Ana

Chapter Thirty Nine

Anas POV

Kurt, Krist, and Dave had come over. Kurt said they had to tell me something. Dave didnt look too happy and that made me worry.

So uhwere going to be touring again soon, Kurt said.

When? I asked a little uncomfortably.

In a couple months.

Oh I sat back in my chair.

I mean, wed all love for you to come, but

But Frank and I were actually going to start business soon. We actually have a lot of ideas worked out. It wouldve been huge for the both of us I looked over at Dave who was slumped in his chair with his head resting on his fist. It feels like I just got back, I sighed. And its actually been a year already. Then more directed towards Dave, I said, Ill be here when you get back. Im sure I wont be going anywhere anytime soon.

And as if he knew I was talking to him, he nodded a little.

Daves POV

After we told Ana about the tour, I kind of felt like shit. I had to do something. I had to make a move. I had to do it soon. I only had about a hundred dollars saved up from gigs we played over the past year, so it wasnt going to be anything all that extravagant.

I was just walking around Seattle, trying to think of something, anything. But nothing came to mind. Then as if I were having a flash back, I saw a flier in the window of a music store I smiled to myself. Perfect

Picture: cuties cx

Chapter Forty

Daves POV

Dave Ana sighed as she looked down at the Soundgarden tickets, I cant believe you got me theseagain! At least let me pay you back this time. As much as I wanted her to and as much as I needed the money, I insisted that she kept her share. She stood on her toes to give me a hug and to kiss my cheek. Youre the best. She planted herself back on her feet and then smiled up at me. Cant wait to go, she said as she smiled up at me and touched my cheek before she walked away.

I was kind of bummed I expected her to be a lot happier about this. I mean, she seemed very grateful but she didnt seem all that excited at least not like last time. I dont know, maybe I fucked up

Anas POV

I loved the fact that Dave had gotten my these tickets. I was so happy to be going to another Soundgarden concert, especially with him. I felt bad that he had paid for both of them and I really wanted to pay him back but he wouldnt let me.

But what made me really upset is that this would be a going away gift. I dont knowmaybe I did have feelings for him and I didnt want to be saying that just because he bought me all these things I really did like him. He was so cute and so nice and so talented and he was willing to do so much for me, but all I do is push him away.

He was a great guy, but I wasnt sure that I wanted a serious relationship. But the very last thing that I wanted to do was hurt Dave

Picture: one of my favorite pictures of Dave and Kurt

Chapter Forty One

Anas POV

I walked into Kurts room and he was just getting into bed. Hey, Ana, he said. Whats up?

Hey, I said back. Can I talk to you really quick?

Yeah. Come here. He shifted over in his bed to make room for me. I walked over and slid into his bed. Come here, he said again as he held out his arm. I nudged myself into his grip and rested my head on his shoulder. Whats going on? he asked looking down at me.

Im all confused I sighed. I dont know what to do.



Mmmm, okay Do you like him?

I dont know! Hes soyou cant not like him! But I just

You dont know if you want to go out with him?

Exactly, I sighed. I dont want to screw everything up if we end up splitting

Well, why dont you just try it out. Im sure youd make him really happy. And Im sure he wont do half the things Tony did to tick you off.

Okay, do we half to talk about Anthony? I thought we were over him.

Sorry Why dont you just sleep on it. Maybe youll have a decision tomorrow. He placed his lips to my forehead and then laid down with his arm still around my hips. Goodnight, Ana. I sighed again and turned the lamp off before I laid down next to him.

I miss you, Kurt, I said quietly while wrapping my arms around him and pushing my face into his chest.

Why? Im right here.

Because youve been recording and when youre not recording youre with Courtney. I dont know, we just havent spent a lot of time together in a while.

Well youve been working with Frank a lot and when youre not, youre usually with Dave.

Because youre always busy

He squeezed me and I moved in closer to him. Well Im here now, Ana. Ill always be here for you, even if it doesnt seem like it. Ill always be here with you no matter what happens, I promise.

Picture: Ana

Chapter Forty Two: Part One

Daves POV

My initial plan was to take Ana out to the concert, let her have a really good time, and then when I took her back home Id kiss her or ask her out or something. But that seemed a little far-fetched for someone like me, so I decided to let happen what was going to happen and if she seemed to be having a good time, then Id make a move. But god was I nervous

Now I was waiting for her to get ready so we could leave. But as each minute passed, I got more and more anxious.

Anas POV

I checked myself in the mirror constantly, but I never seemed satisfied with my work. I didnt know why I was getting so worked up, I was just going to be going to be pushed around the whole night. I took a deep breath as I took one last look at myself in the mirror.

Fuck it, I said to my reflection and then hurried down the stairs to meet Dave. I looked over at him sitting in my moms living room. Hi, Dave.

He turned around and smiled up at me. Hey! he stood up almost instantly at the sight of me. You ready?

I nodded. Yup.

As we walked out to the car, Dave took a good look at me. You look different, he said. I looked back up at him feeling a little self-conscious for some reason. I dont know what it is, but you look really nice.

I looked back down at my feet trying to hide my smile. Thanks. After all my efforts, I was glad that he noticed. I had no idea why I was trying so hard that night, but I was and it was kind of bugging me.

We hadnt gone to the same place as last time, but it was very similar in set up and fairly larger in size. I turned around to look at Dave walking in behind me. I smiled and held my hand out for him to take. He hurried to grab it and I pulled him right up to the front this time.

Everything was pretty calm, people were just standing around, and the nobody was even on stage yet not even the roadies that come on before the band were up there. I still got this feeling in the bottom of my stomach, it was definitely a feeling a excitement. I looked up at Dave and he looked down at me with a smile. I couldnt help my grin as I jumped up and down. He laughed at me a little as I hopped into his arms.

Thank you so much, Dave, I spoke into his hair. He placed his hands on my lower back then slowly wrapped his arms around me and squeezed.

I felt him take a deep breath before he said, Dont mention it.

I let myself down and looked up at the stage. Ooh! Dave! Dave! I slapped his arm repeatedly.

What? What?

I see them! I said happily, looking backstage. Oh my god! Dave, you have no idea how much this means to me! I hugged him again. I love you so much!

He squeezed me again before rubbing my back. I love you too, Ana.

Daves POV

I couldnt help the huge ear-to-ear grin that I had on my face. And the best part was, I was just able to hold her for a while after that. She stood there with her face nudged into my chest and her arms wrapped around me.

It hadnt felt like too long, but the band had come out on stage. I poked Ana and she looked up at me. I nodded towards the stage and she looked over, immediately pushing me away. It was worth it though when I saw the grin spread wide over her face.

Anas POV

I couldnt help the excitement welling inside of me. The effect that four men Ive never even met had on me seemed absolutely insane but I absolutely loved it at the same time. The singer looked different this time. He looked considerably older even though it had only been a year, it couldve been the facial hair he had grown. Whatever it was, he was still very attractive.

The band itself looked different they had a different bass player from last time and they seemed morematured in a way. Theyre werent really an underground band anymore, they were getting pretty big along with other Seattle bands. The singer was even strapping on a guitar this time.

I pulled on Daves arm and squealed. This is so exciting. He pulled his arm from my grip and pulled me under his arm instead. It didnt take long for them to break into their first song and Dave and I were pulled apart in the mosh anyway.

The singer went on and off with playing the guitar, but after the first couple songs he had taken his baggy shirt off. And if that didnt send all the women in the place into a frenzy then I wasnt sure what would.

He walked around the stage talking into the microphone in between songs. So uhif you didnt know, he said as he wrapped the wire around his hand, were releasing our new album in a couple months. He paused to let the crowd cheer. He smirked a little before cutting us all off, Thank you! Thank you. So uhso would you like to hear one of those songs right now? The crowed screamed again. Alright, alright. Here we go then.

He then turned to his band members, and he didnt mean for it but his voice got caught in the microphone as he consulted with the rest of the players, Outshined? Slaves and Bulldozers? He paused as the others spoke back, then he continued to list songs, Rusty Ca Outshined? Outshined. Okay. He turned to the audience. This song is called Outshined.

There was a moment of silence from both the crowd and the band before they started the song, and when they finished everyone screamed like crazy. I was definitely planning on buying their new record after that not that I wouldnt anyway.

You like that? the singer asked with a grin. We all screamed in response. Youre enjoying yourselves, arent you? I didnt really care about anyone else, but I started screaming like crazy. He looked over the crowd. Cool. You guys are pretty fun.

After the short conversation that he had with the audience, they continued to play. They blew through a lot of songs before they ever actually spoke again. Just because you guys were so fucking awesome tonight, the mass of people shouted back at the singer, we uh, have something for you guys. He licked his lips while letting his arms fall to his side as he knew wed all be screaming for a while. Alright, alright, he said calming the audience as he walked back to the drums platform to pick up something from it. He stuck the microphone back in its stand. We uh, we have these little balls he smirked and laughed to himself a little, in this jar. So Im going to throw you these balls and if you get a ball, you, heh, get to come backstage to meet us.

I gasped while the rest of the crowd screamed. I turned to Dave and shook his arm. Dave, I said sternly, we have to get one of those! He smiled at me and then looked back up at the stage.

Is that okay with you guys? he asked reaching his hand into the jar. I think thats apretty good deal. He took one out and threw it far into the audience. He took out another and did the same. The next one he picked out he threw closer to the stage.

Come on, you bastard, I mumbled. He reached in for the last one and looked around the crowd. He walked to the opposite side of stage that I was on and looked around again.

Lets see, he said to the crowd. Who is going to be my last victim.

Everyone was screaming and yelling, so I decided it wouldnt hurt to yell out, Me, you asshole! Right here!

Hmmm, he thought while walking across the stage again and staring into the crowd.

Holy shit, I mumbled to myself. Fuck! He locked eyes with me and I was on the verge of tears. He knelt down in front of me and set the ball in my hand. He smiled at me and then stood back up.

Can I just say, he announced into the microphone, this young lady, he pointed at me, has had to deal with all your grown man shit tonight! Butshe fucking kept up with all you men tonight! She has had to deal with all youre sweaty asses pushing her around! He laughed a little, But I watched her, shes a tough girl and I bet she could kick every single one of your asses, so dont even try getting that ball from her! Ill be fucking waiting for her backstage and if she doesnt make it back there, Ill tear through every one you fuckers!

Everyone screamed and cheered and I suddenly felt embarrassed. But the front man held his fist up in the sky and spoke, Goodnight everyone! You were all really fucking great! Ill see some of youbackstage! And then he walked off.

The guitar player flung his pick into the audience and stepped up to the microphone, Goodnight everyone! Then he left with the singer. The bass player and drummer waved and followed the two other men.

The crowd was screaming and yelling as I turned to Dave in awe. What the fuck just happened?!

He laughed at me and put his arm around me pulling me into his body. I took a deep breath and stared down at the little rubber ball in my hand.

Picture: Soundgarden (Ben, Kim, Chris, Matt)

Chapter Forty Two: Part Two

Daves POV

What if hes an asshole? I asked.

Then that kinda sucks, Ana sighed. But at least Ill find out. She shrugged as we walked back stage.

What if he has a problem with meor you, I whispered as we waited in line behind several other men we were the last ones in line.

David, she looked at me square in the eyes. If anyone, and I mean anyone, has a problem with you, Ill make sure they have a problem with me too. She turned back around with her arms crossed.

Well shit, I turned back around as well, I was shocked at her outburst.

After another five minutes of waiting, she rested her head on my chest I guess she was a little tired from the whole night. I put my arm over her shoulders and she hugged me. After another short period, she looked up at me. Thank youso much, Dave. She squeezed my waist. You have no idea how much this means to me.

Dont mention it. I smiled down at her, but then looked up as another person moved out of the way. Hey, were next.

She immediately perked up. Are you kidding me! Fuck, she whispered, Dave I dont even know their names. Fuck! ShitDave! What am I going to do?!

Well, I mean, its our turn so

She looked up to see the singer (along with the other band members) sitting behind a long table and him looking right up at her. I nudged her along because I knew if I let her bail out now, shed probably hate me for it later. He held his hand out with a smile, Ana took it very gingerly, and he shook her hand. I could tell she was kind of nervous, but Ive never seen her like this.

Hi, he said, Im Chris. He looked over at the man next to him with the beard, This is our guitar player, Kim. He looked down at the other end of the table, And thats Ben and Matt. He looked back up at Ana still smiling, And you are?

Ana, she said in a weak voice with a shy smile.

He looked over to me and then made a face as he leaned back in his chair. Hey, arent you that guy. Uhwhats your name Youre the new drummer in Nirvana, right?

I stood up proudly with a little smile. Yeah, I am. The names Dave, by the way.

Hey, no kidding. We stole your guitar player, made him our bassist, and then got rid of him. He laughed a little, but then turned slightly serious as he leaned forward. Hey man, I know you werent on the first album but I really, really liked it. I cant wait for the second one.

Thanks! I wasnt going to admit it right there, but that actually meant a lot to me coming from a guy like him. We never really got compliments, but this was pretty damn cool. This is the second time Ive taken her to come see you guys. Shes loved you guys for a long time.

Ana grabbed my arms as she smirked and looked down to try and hide her excitement.

Really? How long have you been with us?

Ive liked Soundgarden ever since the first album came out, Ana said looking back up at him.

Wow, thats loyalty, thank you. When did you guys first come and see us?

About a year ago, she answered.

The guitar player poked at Chris face. Ha, back when Chris was a hairless baby.

Chris shooed his hand away. Oh, shut up, Kim, he laughed. Not everyone can have a beard like you did since you were fourteen. Kim laughed back at Chris and then ignored him for a while. Well, I think you Chris pointed at me, should be talking to Matt. Hes our drummer, Im sure you two would probably get along pretty well. Then Chris stood up. I looked down at Ana and she gave me the okay to go over thereso I didleaving Ana and Chris alone not my best plan of the night.

As I headed over to Matt, Chris walked around the table to stand next to Ana. The drummer invited me to sit down next to him as he kicked the bassist out, he then took over the singers old seat. They were all really nice, genuine guys, so I really couldnt complain, but Chris was getting really close to Ana. And while Im sure she was loving the attention from an older, attractive man, he was getting too close for my comfort.

I turned to Matt and tried to get the thought off of my mind instead of worrying my head off the rest of the night.

Anas POV

Chris leaned up against the table next to me. He was taller than Dave, but nowhere near as tall as Krist. So uhhow do you and Dave know each other? he asked rubbing the back of his neck.

Well the singer in Nirvana


Yeah, I smiled a little at the mention of his name, hes my brother. And Im pretty close with the whole band so I shrugged. We all get along pretty well.

He nodded. Thats pretty cool. So are you guys likedating or something? Just wondering, of course!

I laughed a little. No, we arent. Hes a really, really good friend of mine though.

He nodded again. I couldnt help staring at his bare upper half with only his damp, dark, curly hair draping over his shoulders to cover his chest. He was wearing big, baggy shorts that somehow seemed to suit his slim frame perfectly. I was surprised at how quiet he was, he was so lively and outgoing on stage and I expected to see that reflected in his personality. But I guess he was kind of like Kurt on stage, Kurt would go crazy, but in reality he was this shy, quiet little kid who kept to himself. I think Chris was like that, but he was just quiet and awkward.

He broke the silence by saying, You looked uhpretty good out there tonight.

Well you always look good I said back as if seeing each other was a common thing for us.

He chuckled and then there was another moment of silence before he asked, So do you come to places like this often?

Nope, just when you guys are playing.

I caught him smiling a little. So you can guarantee us your loyalty?

Of course! I was sucked in from day one.

Good. He scooted a little closer to me. Wed love to have you as a fan for as long as were playing.

Dont worry. You got me hooked, I assured him as I smiled up to his own grin.

Daves POV

Matt and I had talked for a long while, but now we were just kind of hanging out. Kim, Ben, and Matt were all talking and Id occasionally add to the conversation, but for the most part I kept my eyes on Ana and Chris. The two of them were only getting closer to each other and it had me going nuts.

After a while, I wast sure if Ana was talking with her back turned to me or if they were just staring at each other. But something gave it all away before it even happened, he was glancing from her lips and to her eyes and then back again. I feared this moment from the day I met her they kissedthey fucking kissed. I cringed as I watched their lips touch gently for the first time.

I prayed that it was just that, just one kiss, and that nothing more would come from this theyd never see each other again after tonight anyway! But she nudged her way into his body the way she did to me sometimes, except he didnt put his arm around her the way I would. He just kissed her again and again, until he eventually draped his arm over her shoulders.

I soon realized that I wasnt the only one watching them the other three men gawked at their friend and the girl that shouldve been with me. Fuck! What is this anyway? I thought. A fucking Disney movie?! They just met an hour ago and now theyre sucking each others faces off!

Once they had parted from each other for the moment, I stood up. Ana! I yelled causing her to nearly jump out of her skin as she turned to me. We should go, we have a long ride home and its late. I walked over to her and grabbed her hand but she tugged back on it.

Cant we just stay? she begged quietly. Please? she practically mouthed.

I stared at her for a moment making sure that she knew I was beyond angry and hurt. She bit her lips together and stared at the pained look on my face. I dropped her hand and stormed out if the building.

Picture: don't worry, Davey...it gets better...


Okay guys, so that was the end of book two. I REALLY hope that you all liked it and I hope that you'll stick with me through book three. I know that the ending is a little confussing but it all makes sense in book three, I promise! Exepct an update for book three, Around The World, soon.

Your's Truely,

~ Ms. Seattle Sound

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