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Constricted Pupils

"Tracy!" Shelli yelled, opening the door to our apartment with Krist and Chad at her side. "What? What is it?" Tracy said with concern in her voice. Shelli ran up to Tracy and began jumping excitedly. "Tomorrow is it! Tomorrow is the fucking day!" Shelli squealed. Wow, that was new. I barely ever heard Shelli cuss, Let alone barge into my apartment in excitement. Tracy began jumping with Shelli. "Your wedding?!" Tracy said, jumping with Shelli. Krist and Chad walked over to the couch I was sitting at and watched them jump around. "Yes! Oh my, it will be perfect." Shelli said, still jumping with Tracy. Tracy stopped jumping and grabbed Shelli's arms to make her stop jumping. "Congratulations!" Tracy said in an excited tone. I looked over at Krist and saw he was smiling at Tracy and Shelli. "Damn, man. you nervous?" Chad asked. Krist nodded at Chad and turned to me. "I don't know how I can control my happiness." Krist said looking at me. "I'm so excited babe!" Shelli squealed and ran to Krist. Shelli jumped on Krists lap and began kissing his face. Krist flinched a little, not expecting Shelli to jump on him so aggressively. Chad ignored Krist and Shelli next to him and played with a deck of cards he was holding in his hands. I stared at Shelli and Krist for a second when all of a sudden, I felt my stomach pain kick in. The pain was so bad, it felt like someone just threw a brick at my stomach. I closed my eyes in pain and tried to ignore it. I sat there for a second wondering if I was going to throw up. I sat there and tried to remember if I ate anything today. I began remembering when I woke up this morning Tracy came in with toast and eggs. I slowly ate them but after the first 4 bites, I quit eating and set the plate down in disgust. I was too afraid the food would touch the inflamed areas in my stomach. I slowly got off the couch and stood there for a second, looking at everyone not paying any attention to me. I made my way to the bathroom, trying to act like everything was alright. I closed the door quietly and locked it, trying to not get noticed by everyone. I slumped against the wall of the bathroom and slid down slowly, trying to ease the horrid pain. I moaned softly and began thinking about my pain reliever. I quickly opened my bathroom cabinet and searched for my heroin. I took out the rubbing alcohol, needle, burnt spoon and rags. I did my thing and finally injected it into me. After a couple minutes of waiting in pain, I vomited and flushed the toilet in agony. I slumped against the bathroom wall again and began feeling relaxed from the drug. I lazily reached over for my heroin and put it back in the cabinet. I felt my soul get shoved out of Kurt's body. "Hey! Why is this happening?" My soul shouted. Tears stung in my eyes as I watched Kurt slowly slide down the bathroom wall and lay his head on the tile floor. Kurt looked up and all around the room and then in my direction. It freaked me out, it was almost like Kurt could see me looking at him. "Kurt you cant be doing this.." My soul whispered. "Whats the point anyway? He cant hear me even when he wasnt high." Kurt curled into a ball and closed his eyes. I stared at Kurt for a couple of minutes, wondering if he had fallen asleep. I moved closer to Kurt and looked closely at him. Kurt shivered and squeezed his shirt sleeves. "I can make you shiver?" My soul asked aloud. "I know I'm a soul..but does that make me a ghost?" My soul asked. I didn't even know my soul got here, Ive been trapped in Kurt so long it was hard to even remember who I was before Kurt. I tried making my way back into Kurt's body when I heard a knock on the bathroom door. "Kurt you in here?" Krist asked through the door. I looked over at Kurt and saw him turned over on his side, asleep. "Kurt get up! get up now, you don't want them to find you like this!" My soul shouted. "Kurt?" Krist whispered through the door. I tried to shake Kurt when his body sucked my soul in again. "Dude just say something. If you're pooping in there I understand." Krist whispered again. I woke Kurt up and made him straighten himself out. "Yeah.. dude. Just uhm... yeah.." I said to Krist. "Alright man, be out soon though we all miss you in here." Krist said through the door. That was a lie. They didn't even notice me getting up from the couch. So glad Krist didn't come in here. He would of found out about Kurts things. I heard Krist walk away and yell playfully at Chad. It was really hard to talk when Kurt was high on heroin. I made Kurt get up off the ground and found it hard to breathe normally. I stood there for a second and tried to catch my breath. I grabbed a cup off my bathroom counter and turned on my sink to drink some water for my dry mouth. I tried grabbing the cup when I missed and smacked it onto my floor. The cup dropped onto the bathroom floor and made a loud sound, causing me to flinch. The room was violently spinning, making me extremely dizzy. I heard someone approach the bathroom door and knock quietly. "Babe, are you okay in there?" Tracy asked through the door. A wave of anger swept through me, making me roll my eyes. "I'm fucking fine, leave me alone." I snapped. I heard Tracy walk away from the door, without saying a word back to me. I looked at the cup on the ground and slowly leaned down to pick it up. When I reached down the grab the cup, I saw the needle mark in my arm. I stared at it for a couple seconds and made Kurt shake his head. It was weird, I could control Kurt both ways when he was high on heroin. I could do both and then it would do it for me, It was almost like a flickering light. I grabbed the cup and put it in the running water. I breathed heavily and waited for the cup to fill with water. The sound of the running water was distorted. It sounded louder and more slow. The overflowing cup of water spilled on my hand causing my to widen my eyes in confusion. "Dude, snap out of it." My soul said to Kurt, making him mouth the words I was saying. I made Kurt sit down on the toilet and drink the water. With Kurt being disoriented, he spilled some of the water on his shirt. I straightened Kurt out and made him drink it carefully. I drank all of the water and set it back on the counter and looked up at my reflection in the mirror. I studied myself and examined my tiny blue pupils. The shower behind me swirled like ocean water. Kurt smiled in the mirror and played with his hair. That was the first time I saw Kurt smile into the mirror. His smile was so beautiful, it made me feel grateful my soul was trapped in his body. I made Kurt stop fooling around with himself and walked him towards the door. I unlocked the bathroom door with my shaky hand, opened the door and began walking out of the bathroom unbalanced. I looked over and saw everyone drinking, talking and having a great time... without me. I made Kurt look down at the ground and walk him up to his bedroom. I made Kurt press his foot firmly the stair, trying to avoid him falling on his ass and drawing attention to himself. Kurt slowly walked up the flight of stairs and kept leaning to his left. Kurt swung his head wildly, almost hitting his head on some of his art work. Kurt began to giggle and swing his arms side to side. "Kurt, stop. You're gonna make somebody come up here." My soul hissed. I wobbled over to my bed and fell face first into the cigarette smelling bed sheets. I rolled over, opened and closed my eyes several times times, wondering where I was at.

I awoke a couple hours later and found Tracy sleeping soundlessly next to me. I sat up and looked around in my dark bedroom. I pushed my messy hair out of my eyes and let my eyes adjust to the room. I slowly got out of bed and rubbed my eyes. I groggily walked out of the bedroom and down the steps to see what time it happened to be. I walked into my living room and saw Chad asleep on the living room floor. I quietly walked up to Chad and looked at him for a second, wondering why he slept right there when my couch was a couple feet away from him. I chuckled softly and went to check the time on the clock, hanging above the calendar a couple feet away from me. It was earlier than I would usually get up, the time read: 4:30 a.m. I would usually sleep till 12 in the afternoon. I enjoyed sleeping so much, it made me forget about the world I was actually living in. I thought about how much I enjoyed sleep, when I realized I was just standing there silently spacing out on Chad. What was I even doing out here anyway? Wow, I forgot what I was gonna do. Nice going Kurt. I told myself. I walked up back to my room and got back into bed to enjoy more sleep. I rolled over next to Tracy and closed my eyes. A flash of what happened with me last night popped into my head. I mean.. don't regret it at all really, I am determined to get addicted to it. I said reassuring myself. I opened my eyes and remembered Tracy and Shelli jumping around. "What..? What were they jumping around for again?" I though to myself for a second. I blinked a couple of times and finally remembered. "Krist and Shelli's wedding is today."

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