I can never seem to forget that night no matter how hard I tried. Everything about that night is just unforgettable, the weather, the way I felt, and even what I ate, just to mention a few. It was that kind of day that you'd wake up from hating your life for no reason. It was the evening of December 31st 1991. We were playing at the Cow Palace arena with Red Hot Chili Peppers and Nirvana. It was the show to mark the end of a busy year and the process seemed no fun anymore. To make it worse, my knee hasn't fully recovered from the injury the cliffs caused while I was with my brothers attempting and failing to celebrate my birthday. Thank God we were an opening act, I would have passed away if not. The whole relaxed ambience of the place made me panic so I promptly fled to the round-up bar. I sat alone sipping a pinot noir glass when I saw shadows approaching. It was Dave, Dave Grohl of Nirvana and Flea of Red Hot Chili Peppers.
"So Eddie! How are you doing?" Dave said out of a sudden. It took me a while to respond because I have stayed alone for so long in a way I almost thought I was visualizing their presence.
"I'm great Dave, it's great seeing you again" I muttered.
I shortly after the greetings fell in a conversation with the guys. It kinda helped clear the thorns in my way. Time passed by quickly and it was time to check on everything before we go on stage in 10 minutes.
I saw Mike popping out of nowhere saying "Ed, where have you been? We were looking for you everywhere! Come on Ed get ready. I watched the atmosphere of the backstage change in no time from freezing cold ice to boiling hot water. Everyone was rushing all around me and I was stuck in my place with no expression on my face.
When it was time to get on stage, I felt prepared somehow and spirited. However, my bandmates were feeling the opposite, they were panicking like children. This was the first time ever I had ever felt calm enough to observe the people around me.
The show was rapidly over, well, because it was a 30 minutes show anyway. As soon as I stepped off the stage, I dashed across the lounge to have some after-show drink. I discerned Kurt from distance. I wanted to talk to him but I didn't want to bother him. He seemed like he wanted to stay alone. I inattentively went back to drinking wine and distracting my self from whatever was around me.
"Eddie!" Jeff said as he was panting. "You should drop the glass. We need you to come with us. There's a New Year's Eve event that Anthony's hosting tonight that we must attend" he tacked on. "Say what?! I'm not going. Can't you see I'm totally worn out?!" I raged. "Ed, calm down. We are all exhausted but we have to go." He said softly. I knew I had to go. It wouldn't seem so kind of me at the time to decline Anthony's invitation, so I followed him to the parking lot where the rest were waiting for us.
"Hey Eddie, what's the matter?" Stone asked as he was leading us to the bus. "Nothing! I'm just delighted because I'm going to be surrounded by good-smelling strangers" I ranted. 'That's okay Eddie. It's gonna be alright" Jeff uttered calmly. "Just stop treating me like a child! I don't need you showering me with your wise words!" I lashed out as I was getting in the bus. "You know you have to go. Lots are expecting you there. You just can't keep on running away from your responsibilities" Stone scolded. I knew I couldn't argue with Stone about that, he was right afterall.