This girl has horrible tastes in music. The Beatles "Come Together" is blasting out of my speakers. Paul's thumping bass is rattling the windows. Still her Duran Duran is cutting through all the noise. This just makes me turn it up more. Eventually it gets so unbearable I give up. I cut the music and walk across the road. it's a nice nieghborhood, i guess... lots of trees, right near the river, nothing like the place i grew up though. We had 6 acres and 3 neighbors. Now I live in a small apartment building. Oh well. Its bigger than my old room, and i seemed to fit everything i needed in there.
That idiot wont turn down his music. "Finally!" and I sigh. the last bass note still rings in my head. I hear a knock on the door. This is weird, I don't get visitors often. I open the door to see a 16 year old guy with short blonde hair. "Didn't you have girl hair?" I say with a smirk. It's the doofus with The Beatles i think. "I stabbed it 'till it fell off. Can you turn down that noise you call music?" He replies, staring daggers at me. "No." and i slam the door in his face. Maybe I was too mean. Maybe i wasn't either way, i never want to see beatle-boy's face again.
That girl was a witch. Best way to get my mind off that ordeal is to go to Krist's i guess. He's a bit crazy but oh well. Better than Duran Duran girl. I pull up to hear a crazy bass line and some lyrics about a girl who rode a purple horse. Krist tries to write his own songs, but they end up being really, really complex bass lines with non-sense lyrics. "TURN THAT CRAP OFF!" i yell to him. it's an old joke that we have had between us ever since his mom said something of the same sort when I loudly played the newest Sonic Youth record two years ago. I walked in and yelled up to him, "I'm going to eat a cookie now okay?" "Fine." he replies. He comes down and says "best one yet huh?" "Yes. I quite liked the part about the purple horse with wings." he fake scowls and suggests we go to Guitar Town. "may as well." and we get in his Black Acura.
It took me quite a while to get the car started. Kurt was getting irratable. Maybe he was mad? "You mad or something?" I asked cautiously. "Nah." He said and continued to stare at the car freshener that had little black letters that spelled 'Country Breeze' "I got 75." he muttered. "80." i said. That's $155 between us. We don't count on Chad for any money. Chad Channing is our drummer. And we dont count on him for money because he finds it hilarious when he, at the end of EVERY show, goes to the front of the stage and puts a fist through his snare drum. he has to buy a new skin every week, because he sometimes does it during pratices too. As we turn in, we start discussing what we are going to buy. "I could use another bass." I suggest. "Krist you have 7 basses." Kurt murmurs. He isn't lying. But i have a system. I have 2 acoustic basses. 4 electrics. 1 stand-up. I have an acoustic for pratice. An acoustic for shows. I have 2 electrics for pratice, and 2 for shows. And i have the stand-up for the school band. Which I play in for your information. I also have it for when I'm on an airplane and I want to put it in the overhead bins and annoy everyone. Or if I'm trying to convince my mom music IS a profession, and i'll play, like, Ode to Joy or something.
Krist DOES have a system, but I don't really remember it. Oh well. What you gonna' do? We buy a couple pedals, cause we can both use them.We go back to Krist's and try them out. "Cool." I say. We both like effects and we often smother our songs in them. I drive home to find a note on my door. 'Neighborhood get-together, 3426, Fulworth Drive. 5:00pm-9:00pm.' Wait. I'm 3428 Fulworth Drive. That means... It's miss Duran Duran's house. I just won't go. I throw the paper onto the table and go to my room. Sonic Youth could soon be heard around the whole block.
"Oh, Hello, my name is Britney but everyone calls me Brit." gushes a pretty girl as soon as I walk through the door of the 'neighborhood' get together. I live four and a half blocks away but that won't stop me. "Are you from around here? I've never seen you before." asks Brit.
"Sorta. Sir Krist of David's Street mi lady!" I said in a goofy voice. she put her head down, blushed and giggled. "It's called a neighborhood get together but it's okay. you're welcome here anytime Krist."
And with that she walked away.
I looked around to see if I could spot Kurt. that's why I came. soon I could see him sitting by the punch bowl, moaping and smoking a cigarette. Brit had at least fifty signs throughout the house saying "ABSOLUTELY NO SMOKING" , one of which was two feet away from Kurt, but I don't think he cared.
If you were a stranger you would never know we were best friends.
"You gonna give me a cig or just sit there and watch me watch yours?" I asked.
"What?" he said incredulously as he handed me a smoke.
"Nevermind." I said. I got what I wanted.
"Let's go to Chad's. she's turning on her music." Kurt mumbled and slowly began making his way towards the exit.
"Alright." and I began to follow him.
But before I left I wrote "3426 FulworthDrive" on my arm.
Why did Krist have to leave? I'm fine if Kurt leaves, but on the other hand I'm surprised he came at all. But Krist. Krist was funny, dorky, an excellent conversationalist and, well I'll admit it. he was pretty cute too. I hope he comes back.
*brrring... brrring... brr/*
"Hello?" I said groggily.
"Hey Chad, can we hang at your place tonight?" It was Kurt.
"Me too." It was Krist's voice in the background.
"Nah man sorry I can't." I said.
"I moved back in with my parents cause I got evicted."
"Didn't pay your bills?" he guessed.
"Wouldn't stop playing my drums" I said and laughed.
"Alright man but remember band practice is tomorrow Okay?"
"For sure. Bye."
He hung up.
Krist dropped me off at my house. We said our goodbye's and he drove away. I walked to my door and saw an Eviction notice sticker. I ripped it off and went to bed.
All my stuff went to Krist's. All that came with me was $100, my acoustic, and blankets. And a knife. It's well into winter now. it was snowing when I left so I hid under the first bridge I found. It's twenty feet away from my old house. Now I live here. It's a big bridge. lots of protection. there's other people who live here too. We sort of formed a community. we protect each other from outside threats. we lend each other money. I like it more than my old neighborhood.
It does get depressing sometimes though. I'm writing a song about it.
"Underneath the bridge,
Top has sprung a leak."
I'm working on it.
*Ding Dong, Ding Dong, Ding Dong*
I opened the door.
"I heard you the first ti... Oh Hi Krist!"
"Hello. I was wondering if you wanted to grab lunch?"
"Yes! I mean yeah okay if you want."
He smiled a little kid smile at me and we got in his car.
That was way too easy. Maybe it's a trap. nah. not a trap. We talked about who was better, Triumph or The Vaselines the whole way. By the time we got back, I agreed to listening to a Triumph record and trying green tea, her to listening to a Vaselines record and trying orange pekoe. Neither of us are doing those things.
I dropped her off and decided to go hang with Kurt so I drove to his bridge.
John is on guard. John is a world war two veteran who became homeless when he was disfigured in the war. He's half deaf so he yells a lot. And he always carries a big knife. He had lots of money from his service, but when he divorced his wife she took everything. Now he's under the bridge.
"HALT! WHO GOES THERE?" I heard him yell.
"I'm. I'm Kurt's friend."
"YOU WAIT RIGHT HERE!"
He walked over to me.
"KURT YOU GOT A GUY OVER HERE SAYS HE'S YOUR FRIEND."
"That's Krist. You can let him see me anytime."
"THAT'S KRIST AND HE CAN SEE ME ANYTIME!"
"ALRIGHT KRISTAL YOU CAN COME IN!"
Krist walked over.
"Hey you wanna go to a movie? It's on me." he asked.
"alright." I replied.
A loud voice boomed from across the water. "Kurt dear, when will you get back? I'm making soup."
"Probably around 6. I can't wait to taste it Mary." I replied. "Bye everyone."
The whole bridge vibrated.
The movie was great. But they totally miscast Marty McFly. "Can I crash at yours tonight?" I asked him.
"Why would you want to sleep under a bridge?"
"Leo's having a party."
Leo is my roommate. He hardly pays his half of rent, Never buys milk and his parties last days, even weeks.
"Go to Chad's." He suggested
"Chad is 45 minutes away."
"oh yeah. Yeah sure you can crash at the bridge but you need your own blankets."
I drove to my flat and opened the door. a dozen people passed out, a bunch dancing, at least fifty drinking and a handful with a bong in the corner. I rescued my bass amp and put it in my room before it got broken. I grabbed a comforter and ran out of the house. I opened the car door and threw the blanket in the back.
"I can hear the music from here." Kurt said.
I laughed and said "He put his life savings into 16 subwoofers he planted around the house. The couch, The walls, Back of the TV, His room... There's even one on the front door. look." Kurt looked over and snickered as he saw a black dot on the door with a sign that said 'PARTY INSIDE, PLEASE ENTER PARTY ANIMALS!"
We talked music until we got to the bridge. then we got out and walked down.
"HALT! WHO GOES THERE?"
"KURT COBAIN AND KRIST NOVOSELIC!" Yelled Kurt
"OH HELLO KURT. NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN KRISTAL."
"JOHN THAT'S KRIST!" Said Kurt.
"ALRIGHT. SORRY KRIS."
Kurt was about to speak up, but I told him it was fine.
We walked under.
We got to my area and Mary called us over for dinner. It was 30 soup but it was delicious. we paid her a dollar and went to bed. but before we fell asleep, Kayla walked over. Her boyfriend left her when he found out she was pregnant. she was okay for a while, but when the baby came rent got to be too expensive and she figured food was more important and moved under the bridge. Now she has a baby boy, Robert. "Sorry to bother you Kurt, but Robert is sick and I'm worried. Do you have a warmer place to stay?"
"You could use my car." Krist said.
"Th-Thank you. Thank you so much." she stammered.
"no problem." he said and smiled.
She smiled at him and walked up the hill to the car.
"Good on ya Krist." I said smiling.
He smiled and we went to bed.
I got up before Kurt so I walked home. Leo's party was still going. I have had enough. I'm leaving. He was passed out on the couch so I left a note on the arm.
"I'm sick of your parties and I'm leaving. I'm picking up my stuff. Pay your own rent and buy your own groceries. Slob.
I got my music stuff and drove it to Chad's.
"What the heck man?!" he said when he saw my 6 bass cases and 2 amps.
"I'm living under the bridge with Kurt. I need a place to put these cause I'm travelling... light."
"Don't mention it."
I drove back to my house and grabbed the rest of my this things, including a six person tent I got for my 16th birthday. At least Kurt and I will have some privacy.
I parked on the grass beside the bridge. I saw Kayla and Robert and told her she could sleep in my car again.
I went down and set up the tent with Kurt. When we were done, I told him I was gonna go do something.
"Okayyyy..." he said, looking at me funny.
I walked up the hill and knocked on the door of Brit's house.
"Hello?" she said.
"It's Krist." I responded.
I opened the door and she was sitting in a shirt and track pants with her hair in a bun reading a book. She was pretty cute.
"Hey, I'm just gonna get right into it. Can Kurt and I use your shower every once in a while?"
She looked up from her book and looked at me with a puzzled look on her face.
"See were living under the bridge..."
"The bridge? Doesn't Kurt have an apartment?" She asked.
"I left because my roommate was a jerk."
"Oh. Well you can but I don't know about Kurt..." she said.
"He's alright once you get to know him. Pleaseee?" I pleaded.
"Cool. Can I use it now?"
She laughed. "Sure."
"I like you. You wanna go out some time, like dinner or something?"
She blushed and said "Sounds good."
"Cool." I responded.
"Where's your bathroom?"
"Up the stairs on the left."
I made my way up.
"That just happened." I thought.
Hmm... a date with Krist Novoselic. Things could be worse. Much worse.
Krist came down the stairs with his shirt half on. he put it over his head and slipped it on.
"How does tomorrow at 5 sound? Then I can take you home or you can come to my band practice afterward if you want." he said.
"Sounds good and yeah I'll go to your practice afterward. But only if you sing a song for me."
He smiled, thanked me for the shower and left.
"HALT! WHO GOES THERE?"
"AH GOOD TO SEE YA KRIS!"
"YOU TOO JOHN."
Krist walked in.
"Your hair's wet. You go for a swim?" I asked
"Shower." he responded.
"Shower? Where the heck did you find a shower?" I asked.
"Your friend Brit's house."
I stared open mouthed at him.
"She says you can use it too."
"She's coming to our practice tomorrow." He said.
"Not cool." I said grabbing my guitar and strumming an A chord.
"We're going on a date tomorrow then going to practice." he said.
My jaw dropped and I stared at him again
Mama Frances walked by and said "Honey if you leave your mouth open like that you'll catch flies." and walked away. No one knows why she's even here. Frances is he real name and we call her 'mama' cause she's the oldest. and because she treats everyone like they're her child. Her husband George is a bit more grouchy but He's not that bad once you get to know him. We call him Mr. Mustache because he's always sporting odd mustaches. They own a small house near the bridge but spend most of their time down here.
George is John's best friend. Go figure.
What were those idiots thinking? moving out of their houses. my basement is not very big now I'm fitting 1 drum set, 6 basses, 2 bass amps, 4 guitars, 2 guitar amps, 28 pedals, 45 cords, 2 microphones and 3 crazy punk rockers in there. it wasn't easy but I got it so I could walk to the drum set without knocking something over. Only way to see is to test. I guess we will tomorrow.
"Never mind Krist, I don't care. But we should write something for tomorrow."
"Yeah. Okay well I wrote this while you were buying food." he said and began to play a line on his acoustic bass that he brought under. It was beautifully simple, much more simple than his usual works. It sounded like E to G so I tried it, but it didn't sound right.
"E minor to G." he said.
"Thanks." I said.
We jammed for a while and came up with a chorus, but it still didn't have words. Krist fell asleep. But I stayed up all night, writing the words. It was sort of about my ex-girlfriend Tracy, but it was pretty vague. When it was done, I called it About a Girl and fell asleep.
When I got up Kurt was still asleep. I saw a pen and paper beside him and decided to take a look. About a Girl. What a great title. It sounds like it's making fun of it's self.
"I need an easy friend,
with an ear to lend."
God, he is good. this is exactly what I wanted that riff to turn into. Chad will LOVE this. I put a little note at the bottom.
"Awesome job Kurt, love it."
After I finished writing my note, I asked the only other person awake, Mama Frances, who was putting extra blankets on everyone, to tell Kurt I went to get a couple of coffees. She agreed.
"Yeah of course sweetie. What's in the notepad?"
"Oh yeah Kurt and I wrote a song last night."
"Very nice. See you when you get back Krist.
"See you later Mama."
Kayla and Robert were still sleeping so I decided to walk. *Crunch, Crunch, Crunch*
My feet made footprints in the snow. It was only when I got to Grindin Bean (my favorite coffee house) that I realised how early it was. Grindin Bean opens at 5 for people who work nights. It was closed. I looked at the clock tower and saw I had half an hour until it opened. Might as well take a walk. I was going to walk around the block but halfway around I saw something large and pouffy beside a dumpster but it was too big to be a garbage bag. My curiosity kicking in, I picked up a stick and poked it.
I screamed like a girl and someone yelled at me to shut up.
I poked it again.
It rolled over and I saw a girl's face. She tried to sleep wrapped up in jackets. stupid girl.
"D-d-don't y-you know It's r-rude to stare?"
"Oh my God, you're frozen! Let me call the police!" I said.
"N-n-no. They'd m-make me go back..."
"Back? Back where?"
"I r-ran away..."
"Alright fine. I won't call the police but you need help and I know exactly who to get. but I need you to trust me. Do you trust me?"
"I-I guess." she stammered.
"Okay I'm going to pick you up, okay?"
"Okay. W-what's your n-name?"
"Krist. Krist Novoselic."
"Nice to meet you Olivia."
"Mama! Mama Frances! Mama! Help Mama! Mary!"
"HI JOHN. CAN'T TALK SORRY!"
"Krist? Hey Krist, why are you yelling? Krist?" I said groggily.
I sat up and Krist was running across the ice with something in his hands. It looked about the size of a person and it wasn't moving.
Mama Frances, Mary, and Mr. Mustache walked over to him as he lay the body on the cold cement as the four of them surrounded the body. Mama was telling Krist something and he was nodding. Then he turned and ran towards me. He slipped and fell and I snickered. This was why we were friends. He got up and walked over to me.
"Listen. I was getting some coffee and I found her half frozen leaning against a dumpster. Mama, Mustache, and Mary are gonna take her up to the house and fix her up. Mama wanted you to know."
"What's her name?" I asked.
"Yeah, well you can go and see her if you want before they take her up but I'm gonna go pick up Brit. Remember practice tonight." he said.
and he walked up the hill.
*Ding Dong, Ding Dong, Ding Dong*
"In the flesh."
I opened the door. For living under a bridge, he cleans up well. He's wearing a black dress shirt, black jeans (ironed and unripped), and a brown leather belt. Now I feel over dressed. I'm in a midnight blue night gown.
"Shall we?" He said and stuck his arm out.
"Delighted." I said.
We both laughed and got in his car.
I went over to see her. She was asleep. But she was beautiful.
"Olivia." Mr. Mustache said.
"Krist told me."
"Good boy, that Krist." and he walked away.
I walked back to the tent and looked in my notebook. Below About a Girl I saw a note.
"Awesome job Kurt, love it."
Krist and Mama and George and John and Mary and Kayla and Robert.
I opened the door and saw Kurt.
"Where's Krist?" I asked.
"He had a hot date. He'll be by soon. Meanwhile Krist and I wrote a song you need to learn."
After 15 minutes of Kurt reminding me to not punch my snare and telling me when to build where, Krist showed up. His date was still with him.
"Why is she here?" I asked.
"She's watching the practice." Kurt said with a sigh.
"No. N-n-n-no. No no. Nope. Not happening." I said. "My basement is full of your stuff and there's no room."
"She could sit on the stairs." Krist suggested.
And before I knew it we were practicing with girlie on the stairs.
"She wants me to sing a song for her too." Krist said after we finished playing 'School'.
"Alrighty Krist. Which song?" Kurt said, stepping back from the mic.
"Tender I suppose." Krist said and Kurt played the first lines of Elvis's 'Love Me Tender'.
"Love me tender,
love me sweet.
Take me to your heart.
You have made my life complete..."
Wow I was actually doing okay. I've only ever sang in front of the guys. But my voice held out till the end, when I started coughing and couldn't stop.
Next we played 'Mr. Moustache' a song Kurt dedicated to George, even though it had nothing to do with him.
Then 'Sliver' and our new 'About a Girl'.
We did some covers and A song called 'Polly' then went home.
In the car Brit wouldn't stop talking about our band. She loved 'About a Girl' and 'Polly', but her favorite was my Elvis cover.
"What's your band name?" she asked.
"Name?.. I don't know we never gave it much thought."
"Tell me when you figure it out."
"Okay." I said and she got out of the car. I drove it another twenty feet and parked it.
"HALT, WHO GOES THERE?"
"HOW WAS YOUR DATE KRIS?"
"AND YOUR PRACTICE?"
"GOOD TO HEAR. G'NIGHT KRIS."
I made my way to the tent and on my way saw Kayla and Robbie. I shook Kayla a little and whispered.
"It's Krist... the car is free."
She got up, nodded, and made her way up the hill.
I got to the tent and went in. Kurt was still awake.
"Hey I was thinking... what should our band name be?" I asked. We kept talking and settled on Nirvana. That's where we took off.
Well somehow we survived the winter. Now it's Spring, Olivia is healthy and Krist and Brit are going steady. Nirvana have gigs almost every night and Krist, Chad and I have a steady income. I picked up my old apartment again, This time with Chad as my roommate. Krist moved in with Brit so he's never far away. I'm sure he prefers her company to Leo's
We aren't living under the bridge but Krist, Chad and I still spend a majority of our time there. We sort of became foster people, like Mama and George and with our dual efforts everyone under the bridge is a little happier, healthier. We could even afford a small cake for Robbie's birthday. Things were looking up.
Krist now has a "stage name", Chris, but no one calls him that. Chad has been admitted under bridge and John calls him Chaff.
Krist is still Kris in John's mind. Brit is one of Nirvana's biggest fans. So are Mary, Mama, Kayla, George, and Olivia. Never mind John, who never changes out of his homemade Nirvana Tee-shirt.
Ha and you thought this story was over. No.
Kurt started taking Olivia to practices, where there's a lot more room in Chad's basement now that we cleaned out all of our crap. She loves Nirvana and the songs. Kurt is becoming a lyrical mastermind, and he recently came up with my two new favorites, 'Come as You Are', written about Olivia, and 'In Bloom' written about no one in particular. Both have bass lines worthy of the purple flying horse.
Olivia is so cool. She's just like me. She started coming to Nirvana shows, then I invited her to a couple practices. At one of these said practices, I asked her if she wanted to go to lunch with me. she said yes and I drove her to the bridge. I parked my car and went down and told someone they could sleep in it, then walked home. When I got there Chad was awake watching late night cartoons eating cold pizza. I joined him and stole a piece. Out of the blue he suggested Nirvana make a demo to send to a record company.
"Why not?" he said as the roadrunner zoomed around the screen, the coyote in hot pursuit.
"I guess so... we are booked almost every night. I'm up for it if Krist is."
The next day Kurt and Chad stopped me on my way to get the mail.
"Hey Krist you wanna make a demo?" asked Chad.
"Demo?" I said, confused.
"For a record company." Kurt explained.
"That's a great idea!" I said happily.
"We'll need a manager." Kurt said.
"Brit." I said.
"What? What do you mean Brit?"
"Brit is great with financials. She's an accountant."
"Good." Chad spoke up. "Get her to take a recording of us to RCA."
"Or Parlaphone. That's where the Beatles went." Kurt said.
"Or Capitol. I like the Capitol logo." I added.
"Well." Kurt started. "Let's pick out a set of songs."
"'About a Girl' should be first." said Chad.
"But first we need to actually find a company who wants us."
"That'll be the hardest part." I said and Kurt laughed.
I was eating dinner, a ham sandwich, when Kurt, Krist and Chad walked in.
"Attention!" Chad said with a smile on his face.
"Were gonna make an album. If we can." Kurt finished.
The bridge exploded in a cheer and everyone was chanting
Krist and Chad joined in, Kurt just shook his head, looked at me and laughed.
"We're gonna announce it at The Topper tonight." Chad said.
"Hope to see you there."
"Guys we have to go see Brit." Krist pointed out.
"See you later guys." Chad said.
as they left, the bridge resumed their cheer.
I heard three very different fist sizes hit my door. "It's your house." I heard Kurt say.
"Better safe than sorry." Krist said and laughed.
I opened said door and saw three men, one tall with middle length dark, unruly hair, one middle height with long, blonde hair with stubble, one short with long brown straight hair. All smiling at me.
"Hello Brittney. I understand you wish to become our manager." Krist said with a smirk on his face.
"I do." I responded.
"Right then, manage us." Kurt said quoting the late great John Lennon.
I smiled and invited them in.
They made their selves at home. Chad full-tilt in a recliner, Krist in a rocking chair, going as fast as possible, and Kurt sprawled out on the couch.
"We wanna make a record." Krist said.
"I wanted to say that. It was my idea!" Chad said, scowling.
"Sorry, I forgo/"
"Guys!" I interrupted. "That's huge. Are you sure you're ready?"
"I think 600+ stage hours is good Brit." Kurt said, his voice sarcasm laden.
"It's not the same. You'll need to be professional. And you'll need about $800" I explained.
"We've saved 450." Chad said hopefully.
"I think the least, very least you could do is 700." I said.
"We can worry about that. How do we do this?" Kurt asked.
"Start writing letters I guess. And please, try to keep professional. That's your best bet."
"We don't do corporate." Kurt said, deadpan.
"You're gonna have to learn if you want a record deal."
"Fine. Which one should we start with first?" He asked.
"I'd say start top and work your way down."
"Ooh can we do Capitol first?" Krist asked. "Nirvana. Capitol recording artists. I can see it already." he said.
"Good a place to start as anywhere." Chad said.
"I'll write it." Kurt said.
"Sure?" I asked.
"I got this." He responded.
They all went home and I was left thinking about Nirvana as recording artists. I could already see the producer telling Chad to stop breaking his drum.
Capitol Recording Company
Hello recording masters,
My name is Kurt Cobain and I am the lead singer and guitarist of my band, Nirvana.
We come from Aberdeen, Washington, which is a crappy little town 45 minutes from Seattle where all the fun stuff happens. The band consists of yours truly on guitar and vocal chords, Krist [Chris (no one calls him that)] Novoselic on la bass guitar, and Chad Channing who likes to bang on things with sticks. We play a punk, metal, rock, pop, alternative mix which I call petocopernative.
I write all the songs, sometimes with one or both of the others. I have recently written songs such as 'Big Cheese', 'Mexican Seafood' and 'Mr. Mustache'. If you would like verification that these songs are good, feel free to ask the people of the Fulforth Drive bridge. When John yells at you, just say you want to speak to mama. He doesn't have rabies I swear.
Kurt Donald Cobain
P.S. For further information call 548-225-0037 and if that line is unavailable drive here and ask for Kurt Cobain. Small town.
Lick, stamp, send.
"Whadya mean 'Denied?'" I asked.
"Dear Mr. Cobain, I am sorry to say you have been denied. Though I am sure your band is quite talented, the fact is that punk, or petocopernative, as you put it, is fading. This coupled with your blatant disrespect of our company.
Capitol Recording Company"
"That sucks." Brit said.
"My turn." I said happily.
"Do Parlaphone." Kurt said.
"Okay." I said and went to my room.
Parlaphone Recording Company
Parlaphone, master of Beatles,
My name is Krist (Chris) Novoselic and I have a band called Nirvana.
Our frontman, Kurt Cobain is our primary songwriter. He plays guitar and sings, and used to live under a bridge.
I am a bass player. I also used to live under a bridge and like to play with no shirt on, very loudly.
Chad Channing is our drummer and he's in the band because he likes to bash things.
We are all big fans of The Beatles, but I like The Rolling Stones better.
We hope to get a record contact.
Please notify 548-001-4476 when you decide to sign us.
Krist (Chris) Novoselic, Bassist, Back-up Vocalist, Secondary Songwriter, Session Musician
Krist slammed a letter on the table and said the words "Denied again."
Due to your stunning lack of knowledge in the professional world and insufferable amount of confidence, linked with the fact you forgot to mention references, your music type, where you live and the access to a history of your band, we were forced to decline your offer.
I read off of the letter and passed it to Kurt.
"Me now?" I asked.
"Sure. Do RCA." Kurt said, not looking up from the letter.
"Okay." And I walked out the door.
RCA Recording Company
My name is Chad Channing and I'm the drummer for my band Nirvana. We're from Aberdeen, Washington and like punk, rock, and pop music.
Give us a call. 548-225-0037
"Denied." Chad said.
he read aloud.
"Dear Mr. Channing,
I am sure your band is wonderful but I am sorry to say that you did not supply sufficient information about your band and to be honest we have more punk bands than we know what to so with already. Best of luck,
"Next?" I said.
"Sun." Krist said. "I like Sun Studios."
Apple. Denied hard. Real Hard.
The list goes on. I'm just going to wait until the boys ask me to write one for them. See how long it takes them.
I was lounging on the recliner when the boys came back from band practice.
"Hey Brit," Kurt started. "our attempts at being professional are bad, at best. We were wondering if you'd write a letter for us?" He said cautiously.
"Thought you'd never ask." I said and smiled. "I heard of this record company in Seattle that loves punk bands. David Geffen Records. Ever heard of 'em?" I asked.
"Never in my life." Chad responded.
"Beggars can't be choosers." I said and went to my room.
sorry you amazing people for a long time with a short chapter. I broke my phone so now I have a new one. And I'm also a douche bag. Any ways this will make me seem like an internet noob, but I can't believe this has 170ish reads! I didn't know there was that many people who wanted to read a basket case's twisted, warped version of the early Nirvana story.
David Geffen Recording Company
Greetings Mr. Geffen and company,
My name is Brittney Eve Hill and I am the manager for an Aberdeen (45 minutes south) punk, pop, rock group looking for a recording contract called Nirvana.
Nirvana consist of Kurt Cobain on guitar and vocals (also the main songwriter), Krist (Chris) Novoselic on bass guitar and backing vocals, and Chad Channing on percussion.
Nirvana has written over 30 songs, mostly created by Kurt.
Nirvana was formed in 1979 when Kurt and Krist met. They went through many drummers, then settled on Chad. In 1982 they began to preform shows as a steady job and this year sales picked up. They are very interested in your services, and hope you can aid them on their rise to stardom.
For further information you can contact me at
3426 Fulworth Drive, Aberdeen, Washington, United States
Brittney Eve Hill,
The boys looked up at me hopefully as I came back Tuesday morning with the post. I took a big breath, cracked a smile and said...
"That's how it's done sons cause you done got accepted fools!"
and the whole room promptly exploded with cheers. "When does he want to see us?" Chad asked. "What songs do we play?" Kurt said. "OH MY GOD WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR?!?!" Krist yelled.
"Okay hold on, hold on. He's gonna see you guys on Friday."
"This Friday you dolt!"
"We can't!" Kurt whined. "We have a battle of the bands on Friday!"
"You're going to skip out on a record deal to do a battle of the bands?!" I accidentally yelled.
"guess not." Kurt said and left.
"don't worry about it." Chad sympathised. "he was just really excited. He loves open Mic. Nights."
"Well I gotta go to work" I said. "tell Kurt I said sorry for yelling. Oh and you guys have to write at least one more song cause Mr. Geffen wants at least eleven." "okay." Krist said. As I left the room, I felt awful. Kurt doesn't care about being famous. He wants to be Kurt.
I was sitting on the couch, eating chips and a coke when Krist and Chad opened the door, blinding me with the hall lights, ran in, did a superman leap and landed on me and my chips, thankfully my coke was on the table."Watcha doing?" Chad asked. "sitting in a pile of broken chips" I replied, scowling at him. "so nothing then?" Krist interjected ,"good cause we need to write at least two more songs."
"Why?" I asked.
"Cause Geffen said so" Chad replied.
"Screw that!" I laughed. "who wants to come to Appleton's with me?" Appleton's is a music store about an hour away, but their stock is spectacular and we go there once a month to see all the new stuff. We never leave empty handed.
"me!" Chad yelled.
"I'm driving!" Krist cheered
This time Krist's car had an air freshener that read 'Christmas eve' which was peculiar because it was August.
When we arrived, Chad made a beeline to the drums, as he needed yet another snare skin. Krist however, is a smart shopper and slowly meandered over to the basses, making sure he didn't look very interested in anything the store had to offer. I made my way past the the dozens of beautiful Les Pauls and ES-335's that crowned the righty section and onto the pitiful little corner that held the left handed guitars. I saw the usual group of knock off strats and student guitars, but then my eyes fell upon a newcomer, which seemed to be a warped, twisted version of the classic Stratocaster. It was a Pelham blue, with a dark red pick guard. The clash in colours intrigued me. I looked closer and saw the words 'Fender Mustang' articulately written in gold on the headstock. My first thought was 'thank God it doesn't say Squier beside it' my second was 'Gotta have it!" It was just like me. It was a huge slap in the face to everyone with a strat. To say "look I'm you but different!" I looked at the price and in scribbled writing it read '$40' forty bucks for this
piece of rebellion? Sold.
When I walked over to the counter, Chad was at the door with a pair of brushes and a new snare skin, rolling his eyes at Krist, who was in the process of haggling the new employee. "Listen bucko. I've been coming here once a month for the past two years, and I never leave without buying something. So I think that giving me $100 off this amp is kinda a thank you for my loyalty. Nevermind the fact that I'm giving you free advertising every time I play." I almost felt bad, this was obviously the kid's first job and Krist was taking advantage of his lack of expertise. Krist paid, (presumably $100 off) and joined Chad at the door, struggling with his new massive bass cab.
I walked up to the mop-headed, pimply teenage boy and put my new guitar on the counter. "is that all today sir?" He asked in a monotone voice "I was wondering if you had any cases that fit this guitar?" He pulled out one beat up, sad looking hard case that had the words 'Mustang Sally' peeling off the corner. "that's good thanks." I said. "your total is fifty-six dollars and forty five cents" I gave him three twenties and a five and said the change was "a tip for putting up with him" as I gestured to Krist. He smiled and I left the store. Chad and Krist were loading the amp into the car when I walked out. I joined them and with one final heave it slid in. I put my case beside it and we drove home.
jfhdirnbgJ you guys are cool. I got lots of views. Thanks for the comments, I drop a bunch of little jokes in these next few chapters to see if you guys pick them up. Happy birthday to any one with a birthday in the next year. Also, how do you guys like Britt and Krist/ Olivia and Kurt, thinking about breaking up Britt and Krist cause in these next chapters she's a bit of a bitch. Oops sorry spoilers. Anyways swiggity swaggity I'm out.
"Waddidyougit? " Krist said excitedly. "A guitar" Kurt replied, which didn't help at all.
"what kind?" Krist asked, not giving up.
"a fender mustang." Kurt said.
"cool." Krist said, trying not to look over excited.
"you want to see it?" Kurt said, seeing that Krist was trying really hard not to ask questions.
He opened up the case and I heard Krist say "that has to be the ugliest guitar I have ever seen." My curiosity getting the better of me, I walked over and saw a instrument that looked kind of like a Stratocaster, but was tilting to one side and had a dark red scratch plate that clashed horribly with the light teal-blue body. I could see why Kurt loved it.
"I love it." I said and I saw Kurt crack a smile. We went to bed, and Krist left to go across the hall. our apartment only had one bedroom, so we hung a sheet across the room. It made it easy to talk and I often fell asleep to the sound of Kurt's acoustic slowly strumming a Beatles song. Tonight however, Kurt would not, could not go to bed before testing his new guitar.
He plugged it in to a small practice amp, turned the volume very low and started playing 'Animal Boy' by The Ramones. We heard nothing. We turned it up a bit louder and still heard nothing. The only sound was the pick hitting the dead strings. "that's why it was only forty bucks." He said angrily, taking the screws out of the scratch plate to look on the inside of the instrument. "what the heck?" He said, along with some other choice words for the broken guitar. "what's wrong with it?" I asked as I walked over and turned off the small amp. "see that?" He asked, holding up a small black bar that I recognised as a pickup, the part that picks up the guitar's sound to send to the amplifier. I looked and saw nothing that looked out of order. "I don't see it" I said. "look closer." He replied, and when I did, I saw that the inside, along with all the wires had turned a grey-green colour that I remember seeing on my moms car. It was corroded.
"it can be replaced right?" I asked, worried. "yeah." He said and I gave a sigh of relief. "the only problem is I have no idea where to get another one. I've never even seen this guitar until today."
"we'll figure it out eventually." I said, attempting to be comforting. "just go to sleep." And within the hour we were.
I was making eggs and coffee when Britt came out of our room.
"Good morning" I said cheerily.
"Good morning sweetie" she replied, still half asleep.
"Want some eggs?" I asked. She was in the middle of saying yes when she saw the cab.
"Krist, what is that?"
"a new cab I bought at Appleton's. $320!"
"You went to Appleton's? That must have taken all day!" She said sweetly. At the time, I didn't realise what she was doing, but in hindsight I should have said "no, honey it only took a couple hours!" What I did say was "yeah." I realised what I had done as I saw a look of contempt come over her face.
"I'll kill him!" She yelled and ran towards the door. I have longer legs, so I got there first. I bolted across the hall, opened Kurt and Chad's apartment, closed the door, and leaned on it. Unfortunately, I left my keys on the counter, so I had to hold the door closed.
"Kurt! Chad! Wake up!" I yelled over the sounds of Britt attacking the door. A half dressed Chad and a Kurt with airplane pajamas came out, looking very unhappy with the fact that they were awake at nine in the morning. They straightened up a little when they saw me holding the door closed.
"Krist is someone after you?" Chad asked while Kurt ran and grabbed a kitchen knife.
"No, but Britt found out we didn't write any songs." I said. Kurt put the knife on the table and picked up a chair, holding it like a lion tamer.
"let her in." He said, taking the string out of his pajama bottoms to use as a whip. I opened the door, and Britt charged right at Kurt.
"STOP!" Kurt yelled.
This approach was not perfect, and soon his chair was thrown aside, his string was doing very little to deter the mass of anger known as my girlfriend. She had him by the front of his shirt and said
"No songs? That's okay. I'll just call Geffen and say you were busy buying guitars, and tell him to wait a few more days! You have until Friday to write a song. A good one too! Understand?"
Kurt had been smiling the whole time. He made an a-ok sign with his fingers and cracked his string.
"you guys want eggs?" I asked Kurt and Chad.
"okay, thanks Krist!" Chad said.
Kurt was focusing on cracking his string again, but made a thumbs up. Britt shook her head, and left, me and the boys in tow.
Friday rolled around and our apartment was on lock-down with the band inside. When someone had to leave, they were given a secret code to recite when they re-entered, and if they couldn't remember, they were left outside until they did. Why? Because the song remained unwritten. We don't answer the phone, because it's always Britt, yelling. It's not like we aren't trying. So far Kurt only has
"if you wouldn't mind, I would like it blew.
If you wouldn't mind, I would like to lose.
If you wouldn't care, I would like to leave.
If you wouldn't mind, I would like to breathe."
Which, although is quite good, is also quite sad because we've been at it for 18 1/2 hours. Krist went out for food, given the password "skin the sun, fall asleep. Wish away, soul is cheap."
Kurt and I were taking a break from writing, playing Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots, when we heard
"skin the sun, fall asleep. Wish away, soul is cheap." Come from the hall.
I knocked Kurt's robot's head off and went to get the door. I opened it and saw Krist, with a grocery bag, a hanging head, and an angry girlfriend. I knocked over the grocery bag and closed the door, but unfortunately in the scuffle, a jar of mayonnaise had propped the door open. Britt walked in and said
"I'm not leaving until I hear a song."
I expected Kurt to pick her up, put her in the hall, lock the door and return to rocking and socking my unmanned robot, but instead he said
He played the intro and first verse to our song, and then kept on going into a chorus that we never heard before now. He repeated the verse and chorus a few times, did a bit of a solo, then did the chorus again and said "you could do anything." Eight times. It's like he had it in his head the whole time.
"record them by tomorrow and I'll send them in." Britt said and left. When we told him how amazed we were, he said he wrote that song months ago, and was just messing with everyone. We recorded them at a late night, one-record recording studio downtown that night, and gave our first ever record to our manager to take to Seattle.
Way to leave me to the last minute. The next day, I walked over, grabbed the record off of their table, slightly snickering at Chad, who was dangling off of the arm of the couch, mouth wide open, catching flies. I got into my sliver Lumina, and began the 45 minute drive to Seattle. Come Together by The Beatles came on. This brought back some memories. The first time I talked to Kurt this was the song that I had a problem with. Now I can sing every word. I used to know him as "that guy with the girl hair", now I'm being trusted to deliver his first ever record to his bands' first record company.
When I got to Sub-Pop/Geffen Records, I walked in, and saw a contemporary playground. There was a sundae bar, Sonic Youth was playing, and I saw a man in a blue zoot suit walk by smoking. I walked up to the lady at the desk, who was painting her nails. I asked if "David Geffen is here- I'm the manager of a band he wondered about called Nirvana."
"Who? Oh well whatever, Nevermind. Dave's down that hallway to the left." I walked into Geffen's office and saw lots of sliver, gold, and platinum records. I tried not to act impressed.
"Hello, Mr. Geffen." I said assertively.
"Hey, what's up!" He responded. Obviously quite serious he is.
"I'm here for Nirvana?" I said tentatively.
"Oh right! I forgot! Show this mystical band you speak of. Dazzle me."
I put on the record and About a Girl started blaring through the speakers.
At the end of the record, Geffen looked at me and said "Why would I ever hire these greasy, absolute garbage high school drop-outs?"
"We have a massive fan-ba..." I was cut off.
"So what?" He interrupted.
"it's what the people wa..."
"They're pure and hon..."
He put both hands on the table. "Why should I care? They might have made it in the hick town of Aberdeen, but in Seattle, they have no chance. What are you going to do about it?"
"Find a new producer."
I turned around and left.
Britt came back. We ran up to her to find out the news. She said the producer was incredibly rude and we had to find a new one, we had been denied.
"stupid Geffen." Kurt said, obviously upset.
"oh well, we can find someone new." Chad said, forever the optimist. But even I knew it was a fat chance. Not many people want us. Geffen was our only chance, and we failed. We all walked home and just moaped around for a while in Kurt and Chad's apartment.
Later that night though, we got a call. Chad picked up and yelled "it's Geffen!" We all crowded around the phone and I heard Kurt whisper "put it on speaker." Chad pressed the speakerphone button and we heard Geffen exclaim "-guys are great!" We obviously caught him mid sentence. "you guys are better than a producer could ask for! You're original, young, and have a great sound. You're the best Petocopernative band I've ever heard- not to mention the only one!"
"thank you David." Kurt said. "but of you like us so much why did you say no?"
"I say yes. I said yes as soon as I heard the first note. I was testing your manager. And I'm sorry to say boys, she failed. I questioned your talent and she just have up. I'll happily sign you guys, but you need a new manager if you want to succeed you need a strong, assertive manager." I'll see you boys in a couple of weeks to write up a contract."
Chad hung up and we all looked at each other. Fire Britt? No one wanted to do it. I said Kurt, because he's the leader, Kurt said Chad, because he has the least emotional attachment to her and Chad said me, because I was her boyfriend. Eventually, we decide we would do it together.
We knocked on Britt's door and she opened it in her pajamas. Oops. In all the excitement, we forgot it was midnight.
"Geffen said we're back on." Kurt began.
She smiled happily. "I knew you could do it."
"but he had one condition." Chad continued. She looked confused.
"he told us..." I said, trying not to say it.
Kurt just went to the point. "We have to fire you."
She looked confused, but then replied with "okay." We all looked at each other. We were expecting a big conundrum. "you guys were distracting me from my job anyway."
"Are we still dating?" I asked tentatively.
"of course!" She said happily. I stayed there and Kurt and Chad went back to their apartment.
A week had gone by, and we were driving to Geffen's studio. Olivia was in the back of Krist's car, along with Chad and I. Britt was in the passenger seat, her last drive with us as our manager. It was bitter-sweet. Nirvana, this band of misfits, has a record deal. But the person I started off hating for her loud Duran Duran, and she ended up being one of my best friends. We were talking and laughing, and acting like friends should. I saw Krist and Britt holding hands, and I decided to do the same with Olivia. She smiled at me, and I'm pretty sure everyone in that car was happy at that point. Nirvana had a record deal, Britt can focus on her job now, and Olivia finally ha someone who cares about her. As we pulled up to the studio, Krist, Chad and I smiled and waved as Olivia climbed into the passenger seat (she doesn't know how to drive) and Britt got into the drivers seat. They were going on a "girls day" to get to know each other better. I turned around and heard the car drive away. We walked through the doors, and as we got our first look into the studio, I felt excited about my future- our future- Nirvana's future.
Authors note II
Yes, this is the end. This book was almost a two year venture, and it's move to just relax sometimes. I'll make another chapter to this book, to tell you when the first chapter to the sequel is released. I'm still looking for books to read. I'd like to thank everyone who commented, voted and read my book. Swiggity Swaggity I'm out.